A Captivate(TM) Audience
The elevators in our building are part of the Captivate Network, a streaming (oops, almost forgot the 'r' -- how embarrassing!) "news" "service" that pumps lightweight, 10-20 second blurbs onto tiny screens in elevators across the nation.
Normally, I'm entertained. Occasionally, I'm actually notified of something important enough to warrant additional research when I get to a computer. Even when there's something REALLY vapid on there (like the latest celebrity gossip), I understand that it's there because it's a great way to gain revenue and gives bored geeks like me a safe alternative to ridiculously breaking some of the silly, silly rules of elevator etiquette.
At the same time, every now and then, there's one that really drives me crazy. I wish I had taken a picture of the one this morning, because I can't remember it exactly, but it made me laugh, really hard. Paraphrased (but with the important bit verbatim), and with no source because I can't remember anything this morning, it went something to the effect of:
***
Asia cautiously optimistic
Asia expressed hope that President-elect Obama would be able to fix the problems with the international economy, but doubted that Washington would accept strict...
***
Really? Asia told you this? Huh. Usually, when I ask Asia something, I have a hard time getting a coherent answer.
...or did you mean Asia Argento? That's a little more political than she usually is, but last week, you had a bite from Paris Hilton on the election, so, well, okay.
...or do you really mean that some Deputy Assistant Minister of Finance in Beijing said something on condition of anonymity when asked by one of your stringers -- desperate for a quote just minutes after the announcement -- because they were having lunch together at the time? ...which I guess is also fine, really, because they all look alike anyway, right?
Normally, I'm entertained. Occasionally, I'm actually notified of something important enough to warrant additional research when I get to a computer. Even when there's something REALLY vapid on there (like the latest celebrity gossip), I understand that it's there because it's a great way to gain revenue and gives bored geeks like me a safe alternative to ridiculously breaking some of the silly, silly rules of elevator etiquette.
At the same time, every now and then, there's one that really drives me crazy. I wish I had taken a picture of the one this morning, because I can't remember it exactly, but it made me laugh, really hard. Paraphrased (but with the important bit verbatim), and with no source because I can't remember anything this morning, it went something to the effect of:
***
Asia cautiously optimistic
Asia expressed hope that President-elect Obama would be able to fix the problems with the international economy, but doubted that Washington would accept strict...
***
Really? Asia told you this? Huh. Usually, when I ask Asia something, I have a hard time getting a coherent answer.
...or did you mean Asia Argento? That's a little more political than she usually is, but last week, you had a bite from Paris Hilton on the election, so, well, okay.
...or do you really mean that some Deputy Assistant Minister of Finance in Beijing said something on condition of anonymity when asked by one of your stringers -- desperate for a quote just minutes after the announcement -- because they were having lunch together at the time? ...which I guess is also fine, really, because they all look alike anyway, right?