Happy New Year!
Well.. today was a good day. Woke up, sat around all day, then went to work from 3-7. Ash picked me up, and we came here for dinner. Then I went to my gram's house. Of course, no one believed me that I was going there, so I got a phone call making sure I was there. (Why do I even try to tell the truth, no one believes me anyways.) But anyways.. so I was there for a while. Me and Jer had fun with a puzzle. haha- don't ask. It was fun though. We watched some TV with my gram and Gab, then we left. We went to the Moose to see Jer's parents. haha- it was great.
Drunk Adults + Music and Dance Floor = Not Good.
So after that, I went back to my grams, got Gab, and went to the Saville's for a little bit. It seemed like Ash and her mom were mad that I was going there, but I'm sorry that I want to spend New Years Eve with my real family. Whatever though. So we were at my grams house til' about 12:30, then went went to see Jer's parents again. We stopped up Phil's for literally only 5 minutes on the way. Phil, Joe, and Chris were so trashed. It was great. But we left cause we told Jer's parents we'd be back. So we went back to the Moose, sat around for a while watching drunk adults dance, and left. Some lady fell while she was dancing, it was great. haha- and Jer got jealous cause his daddy kissed me. =) haha.. on the cheek. It was funny. So he pushed me to his mom to get a kiss from her, that way it didn't look bad. haha- loser.
So then I came home. When I got home, I got a nice evil look from Ash. Awesome. Be pissed cause I wanted to see some of my real family, and my boyfriends parents on New Year's Eve/Day. Whatever. Gay.
But tomorrow I have work from 11-4, then me and Jer are going snowboarding, and we're taking my cousin, Gab, with us. It'll be a fun time. Can't wait. Then on Sunday, depending on the time I work, I'm gonna start packing up. I'm sorry, but I'm out of here. It's time to go home. Homesick is how I feel right now, and I wanna go home. Sorry.
Ash, incase you read this before you read your comment I left you in your journal, here it is..
Umm.. It's not that I'm "so wrapped up in Jeremy", it's just that we like to see eachother as often as possible. And it's not that I don't have time for you, please Ash, I live with you, we invite you to go with us and stuff, you don't. That's not my problem. Nothing I can do about it. And half the time, we're here, not out anywhere. We sit and watch TV, join us. Not a big deal there either. And I def. don't take anything your family has done for granted. Please tell me how I do, cause I'd fucking love to know. What? Cause I see Jer? Like.. please.. I do what I have to do around the house. I clean up my messes, I put my shit away, 90% of the time I make the bed.. like.. what else is there to do? When your mom asks me to do something, I fucking do it. So it's bullshit that I take you guys for granted. Please.
And I'd love to know how I treat you like shit. Please Ashlee. You're a bitch 24/7.. the only time you're in a good mood, is when Ry is around. Other than that, you're bitchy. And don't say no cause your mom even says it. And no one every said you HAD to do what you did, it was you and your moms idea, and yea, I went along with it, to get away from my house for a while, but people get homesick Ash. I lived my life there, and as much as I hate it at times, I love living there. I had my time away, and now I think it's time for me to go back. And no, Jeremy has nothing to do with it. Even if I wasn't allowed to see Jer when I went home, I'd still go home. Trust me. This isn't the first time I thought about going home. I've thought about it plenty of times, even when I wasn't allowed to see Jer. So don't give me that bull shit that "oh, you can see Jer now, so now it's time to go home". And don't fucking say you feel used. You and your mom are the ones who told me to come here for a while. I took the offer and came. You have not one reason to feel used. And I don't "come and go as I please".. please ash.. I'm here more than you think I am. Where do I go? Up the mall once in a while.. out to eat once in a while.. Up Jer's once in a blue fucking moon.. please Ash, we're teenages, that's what we do. And I'm not "running away" or quiting on the people who really love me. Cause I already did that to my gram and immidate family. Yea Ash, you're family loves and cares for me too, as do I to them, but it's not that same as my real family. You guys helped me to be a better person, to quit the shit I did, and I'm thankful for that, but it's time I go back to my real family now Ash. I don't have a mother and father and any siblings like I did here, but I've come to realize, I don't really need that like I thought I did, what I have is what I have. There's nothing I can do about it except learn to accept it. And I did.
The more I read this journal.. the more you make me want to leave.
I made up my mind.. I'm going home. Feel used if you want, but you shouldn't. It's not like I'm gonna loose contact with you or anything. Please.. you live like five minutes away from me, you're a phone call away, and there were points in time even when I wasn't living here that I practically did live here. Sorry, but it's just time I go home. Everyone gets home sick, no matter how much they hate where they live.
xo.
But anyways.. and in response to your latest journal entry about you not wanting me to leave and how we have to work things out. Umm.. you may say you don't want me to leave and shit, but like.. as much as you say that, you say just as much that you do. And don't say you don't, I've heard you a few times, your mom heard you a few times, and some other people told me a few times that you've told them. It's not really that big of a deal Ash. I'm still only a phone call away. I'm here when you need me, and you know that. It's just time I go home. I'm sorry. But I still love you and you're still my best friend. And I know you're probably gonna be pissed at me and shit for leaving, and it's cool, but I just really feel it's time. You'll get over it eventually. Plus, think of it this way.. It won't be long before I come back. Gram always told us when something happens to her, it's here I'm coming. So what we did for the past two months was just some time to see what it would be like. And we've come to see it's gonna be hard, really hard, but we'll deal. Love you.
I'm out. Work early, then snowboarding. Outta be a good day.
xo.
I'm so crazy for you.
Drunk Adults + Music and Dance Floor = Not Good.
So after that, I went back to my grams, got Gab, and went to the Saville's for a little bit. It seemed like Ash and her mom were mad that I was going there, but I'm sorry that I want to spend New Years Eve with my real family. Whatever though. So we were at my grams house til' about 12:30, then went went to see Jer's parents again. We stopped up Phil's for literally only 5 minutes on the way. Phil, Joe, and Chris were so trashed. It was great. But we left cause we told Jer's parents we'd be back. So we went back to the Moose, sat around for a while watching drunk adults dance, and left. Some lady fell while she was dancing, it was great. haha- and Jer got jealous cause his daddy kissed me. =) haha.. on the cheek. It was funny. So he pushed me to his mom to get a kiss from her, that way it didn't look bad. haha- loser.
So then I came home. When I got home, I got a nice evil look from Ash. Awesome. Be pissed cause I wanted to see some of my real family, and my boyfriends parents on New Year's Eve/Day. Whatever. Gay.
But tomorrow I have work from 11-4, then me and Jer are going snowboarding, and we're taking my cousin, Gab, with us. It'll be a fun time. Can't wait. Then on Sunday, depending on the time I work, I'm gonna start packing up. I'm sorry, but I'm out of here. It's time to go home. Homesick is how I feel right now, and I wanna go home. Sorry.
Ash, incase you read this before you read your comment I left you in your journal, here it is..
Umm.. It's not that I'm "so wrapped up in Jeremy", it's just that we like to see eachother as often as possible. And it's not that I don't have time for you, please Ash, I live with you, we invite you to go with us and stuff, you don't. That's not my problem. Nothing I can do about it. And half the time, we're here, not out anywhere. We sit and watch TV, join us. Not a big deal there either. And I def. don't take anything your family has done for granted. Please tell me how I do, cause I'd fucking love to know. What? Cause I see Jer? Like.. please.. I do what I have to do around the house. I clean up my messes, I put my shit away, 90% of the time I make the bed.. like.. what else is there to do? When your mom asks me to do something, I fucking do it. So it's bullshit that I take you guys for granted. Please.
And I'd love to know how I treat you like shit. Please Ashlee. You're a bitch 24/7.. the only time you're in a good mood, is when Ry is around. Other than that, you're bitchy. And don't say no cause your mom even says it. And no one every said you HAD to do what you did, it was you and your moms idea, and yea, I went along with it, to get away from my house for a while, but people get homesick Ash. I lived my life there, and as much as I hate it at times, I love living there. I had my time away, and now I think it's time for me to go back. And no, Jeremy has nothing to do with it. Even if I wasn't allowed to see Jer when I went home, I'd still go home. Trust me. This isn't the first time I thought about going home. I've thought about it plenty of times, even when I wasn't allowed to see Jer. So don't give me that bull shit that "oh, you can see Jer now, so now it's time to go home". And don't fucking say you feel used. You and your mom are the ones who told me to come here for a while. I took the offer and came. You have not one reason to feel used. And I don't "come and go as I please".. please ash.. I'm here more than you think I am. Where do I go? Up the mall once in a while.. out to eat once in a while.. Up Jer's once in a blue fucking moon.. please Ash, we're teenages, that's what we do. And I'm not "running away" or quiting on the people who really love me. Cause I already did that to my gram and immidate family. Yea Ash, you're family loves and cares for me too, as do I to them, but it's not that same as my real family. You guys helped me to be a better person, to quit the shit I did, and I'm thankful for that, but it's time I go back to my real family now Ash. I don't have a mother and father and any siblings like I did here, but I've come to realize, I don't really need that like I thought I did, what I have is what I have. There's nothing I can do about it except learn to accept it. And I did.
The more I read this journal.. the more you make me want to leave.
I made up my mind.. I'm going home. Feel used if you want, but you shouldn't. It's not like I'm gonna loose contact with you or anything. Please.. you live like five minutes away from me, you're a phone call away, and there were points in time even when I wasn't living here that I practically did live here. Sorry, but it's just time I go home. Everyone gets home sick, no matter how much they hate where they live.
xo.
But anyways.. and in response to your latest journal entry about you not wanting me to leave and how we have to work things out. Umm.. you may say you don't want me to leave and shit, but like.. as much as you say that, you say just as much that you do. And don't say you don't, I've heard you a few times, your mom heard you a few times, and some other people told me a few times that you've told them. It's not really that big of a deal Ash. I'm still only a phone call away. I'm here when you need me, and you know that. It's just time I go home. I'm sorry. But I still love you and you're still my best friend. And I know you're probably gonna be pissed at me and shit for leaving, and it's cool, but I just really feel it's time. You'll get over it eventually. Plus, think of it this way.. It won't be long before I come back. Gram always told us when something happens to her, it's here I'm coming. So what we did for the past two months was just some time to see what it would be like. And we've come to see it's gonna be hard, really hard, but we'll deal. Love you.
I'm out. Work early, then snowboarding. Outta be a good day.
xo.
I'm so crazy for you.