The futility of life, capitalization, and other matters
No, I don't mean the title. It just sounds appropriately pompous and thoughtful. Think Solomon: "All is vanity."
Today was both busy and non-busy. I practiced, had a lesson (either I was really emotional today, or songs have a emotional element I cannot shake), and then three gatherings. The first was knit/crochet, the group's called knit 1, purl 2. Very fun, and productive. The second was a few hours after the first, and I should have done homework, I read and wandered the internet instead. The food was wonderful, and the company just right.
The third event was a welcome back party for study abroad students. I almost didn't go, but realized I would regret it if I didn't. So I went, got a T-shirt, ate more food (absolutely stuffed, and I like Indian dumplings), and came to the realization that I don't want to talk about or really think about my trip as a life event. In fact, I was very resistant to this idea. Why? I don't feel like I capitalized on the experience. Yes, I did lots of stuff with other people, but what did I do on my own?
Perhaps if I had not gone out and enjoyed myself so thoroughly on my last weekend I wouldn't feel this way, but I do. I feel like I chickened out, like a failure, of sorts. But, I can't go and do it over. Even if I did, it wouldn't end up any different. Life is like that. So, resolution for the future: when traveling, explore your surroundings without fear. Wander, find shops that interest you, make new friends. The people kept going on about how we will probably have a readjustment period that we're not expecting. I read the materials you gave us, smart ones. I was and am very happy to be back in the States. Yes, there was a little disorientation, but you told me to expect it!
After all this, I felt out of sorts, and poured it out on my roommate. Friends are good. I cried a wee bit, and we played racquetball and had smoothies instead of doing homework.
Life, she is strange.
On I go. Homework ahoy!
Greeny
Today was both busy and non-busy. I practiced, had a lesson (either I was really emotional today, or songs have a emotional element I cannot shake), and then three gatherings. The first was knit/crochet, the group's called knit 1, purl 2. Very fun, and productive. The second was a few hours after the first, and I should have done homework, I read and wandered the internet instead. The food was wonderful, and the company just right.
The third event was a welcome back party for study abroad students. I almost didn't go, but realized I would regret it if I didn't. So I went, got a T-shirt, ate more food (absolutely stuffed, and I like Indian dumplings), and came to the realization that I don't want to talk about or really think about my trip as a life event. In fact, I was very resistant to this idea. Why? I don't feel like I capitalized on the experience. Yes, I did lots of stuff with other people, but what did I do on my own?
Perhaps if I had not gone out and enjoyed myself so thoroughly on my last weekend I wouldn't feel this way, but I do. I feel like I chickened out, like a failure, of sorts. But, I can't go and do it over. Even if I did, it wouldn't end up any different. Life is like that. So, resolution for the future: when traveling, explore your surroundings without fear. Wander, find shops that interest you, make new friends. The people kept going on about how we will probably have a readjustment period that we're not expecting. I read the materials you gave us, smart ones. I was and am very happy to be back in the States. Yes, there was a little disorientation, but you told me to expect it!
After all this, I felt out of sorts, and poured it out on my roommate. Friends are good. I cried a wee bit, and we played racquetball and had smoothies instead of doing homework.
Life, she is strange.
On I go. Homework ahoy!
Greeny