Valley of the Dolls
You know, you have to wonder what's gone wrong with your life when the first thing you do in the morning is reach over and eat a big handful of pills.
Actually, I know exactly what went wrong: EVERYBODY BUT ME GOT SICK. Harle's mom started it, about two weeks ago, with some awful sinusy headcold; then his brother had a go last weekend with yarfing added to the mix; and then Harle started with a sore throat about mid-week and due to the power of insane overmedication (1000mg of Vita C and 2400mg of echinacea EVERY HOUR) has already moved into the nose-blowing endgame. Even the cat is laid up- she had more tumors removed last week, and so she's penned up until her stitches come out and we've had to mummity her in a towel and shove three different kinds of kitty meds into her face every morning and evening: a syringe of oral antibiodics, a painkiller pill, and this nasty brown laxative paste that had the consistancy of semi-dried vasaline.
In an effort to not go five out of five, I've been hitting the dolls like an aging starlet:
2400mg Echinacea= 2 pills
1000mg of Vitamin C= 2 pills
Standard multivitamin= 1 pill
5920mg Slippery Elm Bark (for acid stomach)= 4 pills
Advil (optional)= 2 pills
--------------------------------
TOTAL= JUDY GARLAND
Of course, this was the week we couldn't get sick, because our boss was off teaching drumming at some pagan conferrence, so we had to lead the crew on the nights he was gone. Thank good it was nice and quiet and the ceiling-falling-in incident had gotten itself over with before he left. Oh yeah- they fixed the AC and it worked for about a day before something else went massively wrong in the building's innards and a water main broke, so it rained inside that day.
(So our workplace is also sick. I'm starting to feel like one of those people who get exposed to ebola but never contract it.)
(The car better not get any ideas.)
Actually, I know exactly what went wrong: EVERYBODY BUT ME GOT SICK. Harle's mom started it, about two weeks ago, with some awful sinusy headcold; then his brother had a go last weekend with yarfing added to the mix; and then Harle started with a sore throat about mid-week and due to the power of insane overmedication (1000mg of Vita C and 2400mg of echinacea EVERY HOUR) has already moved into the nose-blowing endgame. Even the cat is laid up- she had more tumors removed last week, and so she's penned up until her stitches come out and we've had to mummity her in a towel and shove three different kinds of kitty meds into her face every morning and evening: a syringe of oral antibiodics, a painkiller pill, and this nasty brown laxative paste that had the consistancy of semi-dried vasaline.
In an effort to not go five out of five, I've been hitting the dolls like an aging starlet:
2400mg Echinacea= 2 pills
1000mg of Vitamin C= 2 pills
Standard multivitamin= 1 pill
5920mg Slippery Elm Bark (for acid stomach)= 4 pills
Advil (optional)= 2 pills
--------------------------------
TOTAL= JUDY GARLAND
Of course, this was the week we couldn't get sick, because our boss was off teaching drumming at some pagan conferrence, so we had to lead the crew on the nights he was gone. Thank good it was nice and quiet and the ceiling-falling-in incident had gotten itself over with before he left. Oh yeah- they fixed the AC and it worked for about a day before something else went massively wrong in the building's innards and a water main broke, so it rained inside that day.
(So our workplace is also sick. I'm starting to feel like one of those people who get exposed to ebola but never contract it.)
(The car better not get any ideas.)