Beneath The Sheets of Paper
Title: Beneath the Sheets of Paper
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, never happened.
Summary: Ville apologizes.
You know by now that all these songs are about you. I know by now that you hate it.
I’m sorry.
You have to try and understand. I don’t write them to hurt you. I am not a cruel, vindictive person like that. I have to do this.
This is the only way I can ease the searing pain that’s eating away at me. No one can save me, so I have to save myself.
And this is the best way I can do that.
Slicing myself open didn’t help (though I do miss that delicious burning that came when the blood welled up. I’ll never be alive like that, never feel that sense of being again. Not ever.). Avoiding food didn’t stop the full ache inside me, and stuffing myself didn’t fill the sorrowful emptiness. Drinking only made me forget until I fell asleep, when everything came rushing back threefold. Smoking hurt my lungs (no, not nicotine, but I should quit that, too).
This is the only thing I can do. This is all I know. You have to let me save myself, you have to let me get this out of me before it eats me alive.
I can feel it, you know. As soon as you started talking, as soon as my heart broke, it began. The virus entered my bloodstream, and it started to spread. Little by little, it will devour me, until I am nothing but an empty shell with blank eyes.
And then it will eat my shell.
When I am shattered, this is all that will put me back together.
It isn’t to hurt you. Have I not shown you that I would rather slit my wrists than harm you? This isn’t really about you, I guess. It’s about me working through the darkness that has now overcome me.
Please try to understand. I know you didn’t want to be in my head like this. But as much as I love you, it doesn’t erase how much I’m hurting. How much I will always be hurting unless I can work this out of me.
Please, I need you to try and understand. And if you’re angry, that’s okay. I know these songs will still be playing in your car.
I do love you so.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, never happened.
Summary: Ville apologizes.
You know by now that all these songs are about you. I know by now that you hate it.
I’m sorry.
You have to try and understand. I don’t write them to hurt you. I am not a cruel, vindictive person like that. I have to do this.
This is the only way I can ease the searing pain that’s eating away at me. No one can save me, so I have to save myself.
And this is the best way I can do that.
Slicing myself open didn’t help (though I do miss that delicious burning that came when the blood welled up. I’ll never be alive like that, never feel that sense of being again. Not ever.). Avoiding food didn’t stop the full ache inside me, and stuffing myself didn’t fill the sorrowful emptiness. Drinking only made me forget until I fell asleep, when everything came rushing back threefold. Smoking hurt my lungs (no, not nicotine, but I should quit that, too).
This is the only thing I can do. This is all I know. You have to let me save myself, you have to let me get this out of me before it eats me alive.
I can feel it, you know. As soon as you started talking, as soon as my heart broke, it began. The virus entered my bloodstream, and it started to spread. Little by little, it will devour me, until I am nothing but an empty shell with blank eyes.
And then it will eat my shell.
When I am shattered, this is all that will put me back together.
It isn’t to hurt you. Have I not shown you that I would rather slit my wrists than harm you? This isn’t really about you, I guess. It’s about me working through the darkness that has now overcome me.
Please try to understand. I know you didn’t want to be in my head like this. But as much as I love you, it doesn’t erase how much I’m hurting. How much I will always be hurting unless I can work this out of me.
Please, I need you to try and understand. And if you’re angry, that’s okay. I know these songs will still be playing in your car.
I do love you so.