Title: When You Come Back Down
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Don't know, don't own, didn't happen.
Summary: Telling the truth always fixes it.
AN:I love this song VERY much because it reminds me of my very best friend. Also, the conversation that Ville and Bam have is based on one I had with Bubby. Enjoy.
“Are you sure that you have to go?” Bam asked. He knew he sounded whiney, petulant, but he couldn’t help it.
“I am positive.” Ville smiled indulgently. Bam sighed. “I’ll be back sooner than you think.”
“But…” he sighed. He knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t quite get the words out. He couldn’t bring himself to say that. And even if he did, would it make Ville stay? And if he stayed, would it be for the right reasons?
“I’ll miss you, Bam.” Ville got out of the car. He hesitated for a moment and leaned over the seat, brushing his lips against Bam’s cheek.
“I’ll miss you, too.” He said it so softly, he wasn’t sure the singer heard.
You got to leave me now,
You got to go alone.
You got to chase a dream,
One that’s all your own.
Before it slips away.
Bam drove away from the entrance. He found a parking lot, found an empty space. He didn’t want to stay for long, just long enough. Long enough to watch Ville’s plane take off. Just to know that he was really leaving.
He hopped onto the hood of the car and stared at the planes. He watched them; sure he would know when he saw Ville’s. There would be something, though he could not say what it would be.
Time passed him by. He could not think, could do nothing but count his heart beats and look up. After about an hour and a half, he felt something pulling, deep in his soul. It felt almost like something was being ripped out of him. He gasped, his eyes focusing on the tiny silver object. It was quickly going out of his vision. Somewhere he had read it was bad luck to a plane until it was out of sight, and so he slid off the hood, climbed into the car.
When you’re flying high,
Take my heart along.
He was driving, driving, driving, not towards home. He wasn’t really sure where he was going. He just… Needed to be alone. Maybe. For a little while.
Bam finally arrived at an empty park. He got back out, climbed back onto the hood. He pulled he knees up to his chest and hugged them there. This was going to be so hard. How could it be? Ville didn’t even know.
Miles and miles and miles away, high in the sky, Ville was sitting with his forehead pressed against the window. He had his iPod in his ears, drowning out the sound of everyone around him.
An ache had settled in his body, and he knew he could not get rid of it. He didn’t understand why it was so difficult. It wasn’t as though Bam knew the way he really felt.
I’ll be the harmony,
To every lonely song,
That you learn to play.
When he landed, so far away from Bam, he could not settle down. His leg was twitching, and he was smoking cigarette after cigarette. He wanted something, needed something, and yet he could not name it. Some sort of desire was smoldering inside of him, and yet he could not understand what it was.
And so he did what he always did when he was confused, or hurting. He reached for the phone and pressed the button for a familiar number.
Far away, in Pennsylvania a phone rang in Bam’s pocket. He reached for it and smiled at the number.
“Hello?”
When you’re soaring high,
I’ll be your solid ground.
Take every chance you dare,
I’ll still be there.
When you come back down,
When you come back down.
“Hey,”
“How was your flight?” Bam asked. Ville felt himself calming down, settling. He sat down on the edge of the hotel bed and smiled.
“It was all right.” And so they began to chat. The sun set around Bam, but he didn’t care. The mosquitoes came out, and he only swatted them away. He couldn’t bring himself to hang up the phone. “There’s something I need to know.”
“What is it, Bam?” his heart was in his throat. Could this be it? Maybe?
“Why?”
“Why what?”
“Why do you do it? I mean… I just wonder why you’re always there for me, sometimes. I’m not a perfect person, Ville. I screw up again and again; I do things that are bad for me. And yet, you’re always there. I don’t understand, and I just want to know why.” The night air had made him philosophical, curious.
“I could ask you the same.” The Finnish man smiled. “There’s a really simple answer for that.”
“Oh yeah? What?”
I’ll keep looking up,
Awaiting your return.
My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn,
And I won’t feel your fire.
I’ll be the other hand that always holds the line,
Connecting your sweet heart and mine.
I’m strung out on that wire.
“I love you,”
“I know that.” Bam did know. He knew that Ville loved him. Maybe not as much or in the way that he wanted, needed to be loved by him, but it was still something, and far be it from him to complain.
“No… Bam… I really, really love you.”
“Really?”
“Really,” Ville was laughing a little. He loved how incredulous Bam seemed.
“I… I love you, too.”
“I know,” and in that moment, he did. He’d always know. Neither one of them said anything for a few minutes. Bam looked up at the sky. He wondered if Ville could see the same stars that he could.
“When are you coming back?”
“Soon, Bam.”
And I’ll be on the other end,
To hear you when you call.
Angel, you were born to fly,
And if you get too high,
I’ll catch you when you fall.
I’ll catch you when you fall.
“I just miss you when you’re not here.”
“I know you do. But… The band,” that said it all. He didn’t have to explain anything more. They listened to each other breathing.
In a way, the ache inside of both of them had faded. They knew the truth now. However, it was replaced with something else. This pain though, was more delicious. It was a pain they did not mind suffering, because it served to remind them that they loved one another.
And that was a reminder they enjoyed.
Your memory’s the sunshine,
That every new day brings,
I know the sky is calling.
Angel, let me help you with your wings.
“My battery is starting to die.” Bam realized when the phone beeped obnoxiously in his ear.
“Oh, all right.” Ville sounded disappointed.
“But um, I’ll call you later tonight, okay?”
“I will be waiting.”
“Bye, Ville.”
“Goodbye sweetheart.” He pressed the end call button, but he didn’t get right off the hood of his car. He legs were cramped from keeping them in that position for so long, but he didn’t care. He smiled.
“I love you, Ville.” He said as he managed to climb down.
When you’re soaring through the air,
Take every chance you dare,
I’ll still be there.
He slid into his car and put the key in the ignition. He just could not stop smiling. He put the car in drive and started back home. It wouldn’t be long now until Ville came back to him.
When you came back down.
Take every chance you dare,
I’ll still be there,
When you come back down,
When you come back down.