The Rising Sun by Joshua Bidgen
(Christiana Lloyd-Kirk's Review of, "The Rising Son" by Joshua Bidgen)
One of my complaints about this poem is that it's just...very stereotypical. Aside from, "Eat takoyaki" I feel like this is the written version of a "Lucky Cat"...Just as a lucky cat is typically a cheap, touristy souvenir of Asia only an American would buy...This poem doesn't bring anything really new to the table. Just as a foreigner whose never been to America imagines cheeseburgers and fries....Just about every Westerner out there (whose never been to Asia) conjures up these images you've just written out. That's not a good thing. Speaking for myself especially...I have a really limited knowledge of Asian countries. Spirited Away, Sushi and my ability to make really great Thai curries are about where it ends. I had a relative who lived in Japan and the Philippines for a little bit back in the 70s/80s so I guess you could say I know some basic history by association/some of the stories I heard. I know phonetically "takoyaki" is Japanese without having any idea what it means because I've seen enough Japanese menus in my life but I've never been to an Asian country. I don't watch anime or listen to Japanese music. I am by no means a remote expert...but I could throw out the little knowledge I do know and still see this as incredibly stereotypical Asian. Cherry blossoms, Snow, festivals....Anyone with an internet connection over the age of 14 has seen those pictures at some point in their lives...often a hell of a lot. Next to rice, zen gardens and sculpted Buddhas...these are the very first images anyone ever sees when introducing their brain fibers to the concept of Japan. You might be able to get away with mentioning these incredibly stereotypical images if there was more depth and detail to them...but being as that's not the case, it just doesn't work. Your images are very limited in this poem period. The fact that the few you have, have no real details and are stereotypical, just isn't doing you any favors.
I wish that was it because I really don't like being this critical but there are a couple other things that don't quite fit. I'm not sure if you know this, but "The Rising Sun" is a fairly famous, Pulitzer Prize winning book about the fall and decline of the Japanese Empire from 1936-1945. People who really know Japan, will know that book and make the reference. Since you're not talking about that time period (or any fall or decline for that matter), the title doesn't make sense. That and I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to compete with a Pulitzer Prize winning author..certainly not that way. It creates certain expectations.
Another thing that stuck out for me was "Steeple"...while there are now plenty of Christian churches in a lot of areas of Japan...You won't find that kind of Westernized architecture outside of Motomachi District. The problem is you won't see much else aside from Westernized architecture there. I find it hard to believe that you spent an entire summer in an area that looks something like Northern California and New England squashed together. It just doesn't compute. That's where Asians go when they want a more Western feel.
Next summer returning, I shall go
Eat takoyaki and meet the people
Japan so beautiful, oh I miss it so
Cherry blossoms gone then, from the snow
I pictured us under the Church steeple
Next summer returning, I shall go
At the festival, all in a row
Thinking of you, time was in a ripple
Japan so beautiful, oh I miss it so
In a foreign land, God really shows
But despite His strength, I felt crippled
Next summer returning, I shall go
I hear a voice, “Trust in the Lord though”
He promises in time I’ll feel tranquil
Japan so beautiful, oh I miss it so
Without you, my picture, am I alone?
The next chapter is here, so is the girl
Next summer returning, I shall go
Japan so beautiful, oh I miss it so
One of my complaints about this poem is that it's just...very stereotypical. Aside from, "Eat takoyaki" I feel like this is the written version of a "Lucky Cat"...Just as a lucky cat is typically a cheap, touristy souvenir of Asia only an American would buy...This poem doesn't bring anything really new to the table. Just as a foreigner whose never been to America imagines cheeseburgers and fries....Just about every Westerner out there (whose never been to Asia) conjures up these images you've just written out. That's not a good thing. Speaking for myself especially...I have a really limited knowledge of Asian countries. Spirited Away, Sushi and my ability to make really great Thai curries are about where it ends. I had a relative who lived in Japan and the Philippines for a little bit back in the 70s/80s so I guess you could say I know some basic history by association/some of the stories I heard. I know phonetically "takoyaki" is Japanese without having any idea what it means because I've seen enough Japanese menus in my life but I've never been to an Asian country. I don't watch anime or listen to Japanese music. I am by no means a remote expert...but I could throw out the little knowledge I do know and still see this as incredibly stereotypical Asian. Cherry blossoms, Snow, festivals....Anyone with an internet connection over the age of 14 has seen those pictures at some point in their lives...often a hell of a lot. Next to rice, zen gardens and sculpted Buddhas...these are the very first images anyone ever sees when introducing their brain fibers to the concept of Japan. You might be able to get away with mentioning these incredibly stereotypical images if there was more depth and detail to them...but being as that's not the case, it just doesn't work. Your images are very limited in this poem period. The fact that the few you have, have no real details and are stereotypical, just isn't doing you any favors.
I wish that was it because I really don't like being this critical but there are a couple other things that don't quite fit. I'm not sure if you know this, but "The Rising Sun" is a fairly famous, Pulitzer Prize winning book about the fall and decline of the Japanese Empire from 1936-1945. People who really know Japan, will know that book and make the reference. Since you're not talking about that time period (or any fall or decline for that matter), the title doesn't make sense. That and I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to compete with a Pulitzer Prize winning author..certainly not that way. It creates certain expectations.
Another thing that stuck out for me was "Steeple"...while there are now plenty of Christian churches in a lot of areas of Japan...You won't find that kind of Westernized architecture outside of Motomachi District. The problem is you won't see much else aside from Westernized architecture there. I find it hard to believe that you spent an entire summer in an area that looks something like Northern California and New England squashed together. It just doesn't compute. That's where Asians go when they want a more Western feel.
Next summer returning, I shall go
Eat takoyaki and meet the people
Japan so beautiful, oh I miss it so
Cherry blossoms gone then, from the snow
I pictured us under the Church steeple
Next summer returning, I shall go
At the festival, all in a row
Thinking of you, time was in a ripple
Japan so beautiful, oh I miss it so
In a foreign land, God really shows
But despite His strength, I felt crippled
Next summer returning, I shall go
I hear a voice, “Trust in the Lord though”
He promises in time I’ll feel tranquil
Japan so beautiful, oh I miss it so
Without you, my picture, am I alone?
The next chapter is here, so is the girl
Next summer returning, I shall go
Japan so beautiful, oh I miss it so