(no subject)
Dearest Adriane,
Several minutes ago, you asked me what the meaning of life was, I suppose as a cue for your own boredom. My gut instinct was to tell you, "cookies", because it is my firm belief that all problems, even mass genocide, can be solved by freshly baked cookies. However, I decided to pause and reflect, because I've never really asked myself that question. So prepare yourself for a long, cheese-filled note.
Lots of people ask, "what's the meaning of life?", probably because no one wants to bother to solve any of the REAL problems, like poverty of war, they'd rather sit around asking themselves why they're here. I've only been alive for fifteen years, eight months and seven days and I'm still trying to figure out why my hair sticks up in the back when I sleep on it wet. I, by no means, have the answer to human existence. I don't know why we're here, I don't know who put us here, and I don't know where we're supposed to do with our time here. I don't really trust science- I still believe in fairies- and I don't buy the whole, "there is no colour, only what your eye projects" thing because that depresses me. (I'm still trying to bounce back from the realization that you can't sit on clouds).
What I've managed to determine, while looking back on my fifteen years eight months and seven days, is that, because every human being is different, everyone has a different idea of what life is about. Some think it's about love, others about power; for too many, it's about survival. I've also determined that my life can't be summed up in one meaningful word. I'm at a stage in my life where Everything Matters: my average means as much to me as knowing all the lyrics to the RENT soundtrack,which means as much to me as finding my soul mate, which means as much to me as hugging my friends every day. It's a confusing period and I'm still trying to sort out my priorities. I also recently figured out that I've been trying too hard to label myself and I should just stop worring about where I fit in.
To me:
Life is about the smell of soap: scented or non, I can't get enough of it. Life is about biting my fingernails, NOT because it's a nervous habit, but because if I didn't, I would look like that guy from Guiness Book of Records. *sentence omited for inside joke quality* Life is about the simple thrill of a laptop computer: the sound the keyboard makes, the smoothness of the mouse pad, the way it warms my legs with it's electronic heat. Life is about the smell of gingerbread cookies, the taste, the texture.
Life is about loving so much it hurts. Life is about hugging a friend in need until I think I'm gonna die. Life is about cultivating an obsession until it threatens to swallow your brains. Life is about fresh fries from the caf. Life is about getting perfect on an essay you wrote the period before it's due. Life is about confusing people with big words. Life is about singing at the top of your lungs until they almost burst. Life is about big dreams- penthouse in New York! Starring on Broadway! Married to Christian Bale! No, Joey McIntyre! No, SPIKE- that block out reality."To days of inspiration, playing hookey, making something out of nothing, the need to express, to communicate, to going against the grain, going insane, going mad." Life is about the multitude of sexy bodies we can aspire to fuck. Life is about "musical theatre: the two most glorious words in the English language."
Life is about using all those things to forget the misery of being a teenager.
Love you,
Michelle
xoxoxoxox
P.s. Sorry about the cheese.
You see why I think she's so amazing and tackle hugged her until my ribs hurt?
Auditioned for Spring Major today.. Stayed late, mucho drama with people, making Alex almost cry in pain is slightly entertaining (am I sadistic?), choreographed an awesome sexy dance for many uniformed people with Bridgette, worked in the dead of Toys R Us, bought Jenn's b-day present...
Happy 16th birthday Jenn! We SHALL complete everything in Bridgette's note! With the fancy poses and all! You are the sexy 16 year old woman who will ROCK the world of all of it's SOCKS!
"La la la la...Mary.. misses mommy..."
Adriane