06. contracts are kind of a dwarf THING.
((backdated to yesterday. as I hadn't got it done... And yes, it's entirely absurd and very one-sided.))
[Private to Ray]
Mr Kowalski. I have your contract. I'll put a copy here of what I have done, as I have the paper copy. That's far more important. You need not worry yourself with the first bit. I can translate, but it is just Dwarfish meaning that these words are binding once signed upon.
[There is some dwarfish legalese to begin with, and if Ray COULD read, it'd mean exactly what he said.]
I, Ardent Thaldorsson, Dwarf of Copperhead, Uberwald, shall deliver the following promises unto you, Ray Kowalski, and am bound to them by the Laws;
1. I shall not commit murder, except in the occasion for self-defence.
2. I shall work diligently and honestly in the library.
3. I shall respect communal property.
4. I shall speak with you upon your request, and not deny any such request.
5. I shall, upon clause 13 being met, bear arms responsibly and without cause for public disorder.
6. I shall respect human customs and the humans which practice them, provided doing so does not breach the Laws.
(a). Clause 6 shall only be met if Clause (14) is upheld by yourself.
7. I shall not use any item requested in Clause (15) for the harm of another person aboard.
8. In the event of Clause (16), I shall deliver a full and clear explanation.
I, Ray Kowalski, Human of (where are you from?) shall deliver the following promises unto you, Ardent Thaldorsson, and am bound to them by the honour of the Laws, in making an agreement with a Dwarf who abides by them.
9. I shall not break the principle of preservation of texts within Dwarfish Law.
(a). To be defined as the destruction of words; including destruction of books, Devices on which words are recorded, crossing out of words, burning of paper (discarding it is permitted).
10. I shall permit you to work in the library, at times of the supervising warden's choosing.
11. I shall not mock, or discredit, Dwarfish culture, literature, language or physical traits.
(a) I shall also do my utmost to prevent this occuring from others.
12. I shall, in the event of your death, promptly and without condition, ensure your return to life.
13. I shall provide circumstances under which you can be returned an axe or similar cultural weapon.
14. I shall not attempt to enforce any Human law upon you if it is in contradiction the the Laws.
15. I shall, immediately, upon request, provide candles and vurms to you in event of an emergency.
16. I shall, if confused as to the nature of Dwarf Law, request further information from yourself.
17. I shall, under no circumstances, request the Cube from anyone, Admiral included.
18. In the event of other Dwarfs arriving on board, you shall be permitted to administer or recieve spiritual advice, depending on the status of aforementioned Dwarfs.
19. I shall not force you to see daylight under any circumstances.
(a) To be defined as forcing the removal of a hood for any reason except an emergency.
To be adhered to by both parties:
20. Neither shall take advantage of a situation the other is placed in by a flood or Port.
There are several points on which I am prepared to negotiate. No contract is binding until signed by both parties, but I will warn you, human, that Dwarfs consider the recorded word binding as it stands. Agree only to what you can adhere to.
I shall also offer an immediate explanation to clause 15. There are certain mine signs which, if drawn, should be kept surrounded by light from candles and vurms. They only tend to be drawn in an emergency, but keeping them in the light is vitally important.
I imagine you will wish to meet to discuss this. Name the place. If you would excuse me, I wish to get some rest, so later in the day would be preferable.
[Private to Ray]
Mr Kowalski. I have your contract. I'll put a copy here of what I have done, as I have the paper copy. That's far more important. You need not worry yourself with the first bit. I can translate, but it is just Dwarfish meaning that these words are binding once signed upon.
[There is some dwarfish legalese to begin with, and if Ray COULD read, it'd mean exactly what he said.]
I, Ardent Thaldorsson, Dwarf of Copperhead, Uberwald, shall deliver the following promises unto you, Ray Kowalski, and am bound to them by the Laws;
1. I shall not commit murder, except in the occasion for self-defence.
2. I shall work diligently and honestly in the library.
3. I shall respect communal property.
4. I shall speak with you upon your request, and not deny any such request.
5. I shall, upon clause 13 being met, bear arms responsibly and without cause for public disorder.
6. I shall respect human customs and the humans which practice them, provided doing so does not breach the Laws.
(a). Clause 6 shall only be met if Clause (14) is upheld by yourself.
7. I shall not use any item requested in Clause (15) for the harm of another person aboard.
8. In the event of Clause (16), I shall deliver a full and clear explanation.
I, Ray Kowalski, Human of (where are you from?) shall deliver the following promises unto you, Ardent Thaldorsson, and am bound to them by the honour of the Laws, in making an agreement with a Dwarf who abides by them.
9. I shall not break the principle of preservation of texts within Dwarfish Law.
(a). To be defined as the destruction of words; including destruction of books, Devices on which words are recorded, crossing out of words, burning of paper (discarding it is permitted).
10. I shall permit you to work in the library, at times of the supervising warden's choosing.
11. I shall not mock, or discredit, Dwarfish culture, literature, language or physical traits.
(a) I shall also do my utmost to prevent this occuring from others.
12. I shall, in the event of your death, promptly and without condition, ensure your return to life.
13. I shall provide circumstances under which you can be returned an axe or similar cultural weapon.
14. I shall not attempt to enforce any Human law upon you if it is in contradiction the the Laws.
15. I shall, immediately, upon request, provide candles and vurms to you in event of an emergency.
16. I shall, if confused as to the nature of Dwarf Law, request further information from yourself.
17. I shall, under no circumstances, request the Cube from anyone, Admiral included.
18. In the event of other Dwarfs arriving on board, you shall be permitted to administer or recieve spiritual advice, depending on the status of aforementioned Dwarfs.
19. I shall not force you to see daylight under any circumstances.
(a) To be defined as forcing the removal of a hood for any reason except an emergency.
To be adhered to by both parties:
20. Neither shall take advantage of a situation the other is placed in by a flood or Port.
There are several points on which I am prepared to negotiate. No contract is binding until signed by both parties, but I will warn you, human, that Dwarfs consider the recorded word binding as it stands. Agree only to what you can adhere to.
I shall also offer an immediate explanation to clause 15. There are certain mine signs which, if drawn, should be kept surrounded by light from candles and vurms. They only tend to be drawn in an emergency, but keeping them in the light is vitally important.
I imagine you will wish to meet to discuss this. Name the place. If you would excuse me, I wish to get some rest, so later in the day would be preferable.