Revenge of the Magic 8 Ball
I had to clean my boss' office again. I felt like singing that Cinderella song: "Cinderelly, Cinderelly, night and day it's Cinderelly..." I decided to channel my inner Marvin instead: "Here I am, brain the size of planet and they want me to dust the bookshelf. You call that job satisfaction cause I don't."
Lo and behold, I came across the same dreaded Magic 8 Ball that tormented me a few weeks before. I had to ask it more questions, for to ignore it would show fear, and I cannot fear a Magic 8 Ball. So I ask:
Magic 8 Ball, am I still doom to a life of failure? Yes, definitely.
Magic 8 Ball, do you hate me? All signs point to yes.
Magic 8 Ball, do you know that I will destroy you? Outlook hazy. Ask again later.
I didn't ask anymore, for I thought that I had put fear into the inanimate object. Hooray for the human spirit, thought I, but, lo! The Magic 8 Ball took its revenge on me yesterday morning.
I was pumping gas at the station across the street from where I live. Usually it's the most expensive, but this time it was the cheapest and I thought I was in luck. I pulled forward to a pump and, when I looked up, there was this psycho screaming at me. Apparently he wanted to pull up to that pump. I looked around and noticed that all the other pumps were empty and he could have easily pulled up to them. Instead, he cussed me out as he drove around my car and used the pump behind me. I thought about sitting in my car knowing that assholes like him will just pick a fight, but I know that I couldn't show fear to assholes, so I got out and pumped my gas. As I thought he would, the asshole screamed at me for being rude as I was "suppose to stop when you see another car." I told him that 1) I didn't see him, 2) he could have gone to other pumps and, 3) I mocked his stupidity: "Poor baby had to go all the way around. There were other places to go to. You don't have to be such a fucking asshole." He kept cussing at me and so I ended the argument with, "If you don't like it, go somewhere else." He kept yelling but I ignored him from that point on. However, no sooner than he left than another asshole came up to me and asked if I had any change. I told him no, but then he kept bitching at me saying, "Why not, bitch? You have a purse, you gotta have change." At that point I stopped cleaning my windows, got into my car and peeled out. It wasn't even 7:45 in the morning and I was completely surrounded by assholes. I will never use that gas station again. I don't care if they offer gas for $1 a gallon, I shall never pump there again.
I thought that the revenge of the Magic 8 Ball was over until I logged online this morning. I got a few e-card notices ('tis my B-day tomorrow; I iz getting olds x_X), but when I tried to open them, my computer crashed. I tried going to the main webpage, but I couldn't open the cards. I got my computer to restart and scanned for viruses, but the scans came up with nothing, so I hope there isn't something foul lurking in the depths of my laptop.
Curse you, Magic 8 Ball! Don't make me throw you into the cracks of Mount Doom. Or, perhaps, throw it at the next asshole who tries to pick a fight with me.
Lo and behold, I came across the same dreaded Magic 8 Ball that tormented me a few weeks before. I had to ask it more questions, for to ignore it would show fear, and I cannot fear a Magic 8 Ball. So I ask:
Magic 8 Ball, am I still doom to a life of failure? Yes, definitely.
Magic 8 Ball, do you hate me? All signs point to yes.
Magic 8 Ball, do you know that I will destroy you? Outlook hazy. Ask again later.
I didn't ask anymore, for I thought that I had put fear into the inanimate object. Hooray for the human spirit, thought I, but, lo! The Magic 8 Ball took its revenge on me yesterday morning.
I was pumping gas at the station across the street from where I live. Usually it's the most expensive, but this time it was the cheapest and I thought I was in luck. I pulled forward to a pump and, when I looked up, there was this psycho screaming at me. Apparently he wanted to pull up to that pump. I looked around and noticed that all the other pumps were empty and he could have easily pulled up to them. Instead, he cussed me out as he drove around my car and used the pump behind me. I thought about sitting in my car knowing that assholes like him will just pick a fight, but I know that I couldn't show fear to assholes, so I got out and pumped my gas. As I thought he would, the asshole screamed at me for being rude as I was "suppose to stop when you see another car." I told him that 1) I didn't see him, 2) he could have gone to other pumps and, 3) I mocked his stupidity: "Poor baby had to go all the way around. There were other places to go to. You don't have to be such a fucking asshole." He kept cussing at me and so I ended the argument with, "If you don't like it, go somewhere else." He kept yelling but I ignored him from that point on. However, no sooner than he left than another asshole came up to me and asked if I had any change. I told him no, but then he kept bitching at me saying, "Why not, bitch? You have a purse, you gotta have change." At that point I stopped cleaning my windows, got into my car and peeled out. It wasn't even 7:45 in the morning and I was completely surrounded by assholes. I will never use that gas station again. I don't care if they offer gas for $1 a gallon, I shall never pump there again.
I thought that the revenge of the Magic 8 Ball was over until I logged online this morning. I got a few e-card notices ('tis my B-day tomorrow; I iz getting olds x_X), but when I tried to open them, my computer crashed. I tried going to the main webpage, but I couldn't open the cards. I got my computer to restart and scanned for viruses, but the scans came up with nothing, so I hope there isn't something foul lurking in the depths of my laptop.
Curse you, Magic 8 Ball! Don't make me throw you into the cracks of Mount Doom. Or, perhaps, throw it at the next asshole who tries to pick a fight with me.