X-Men Fic: 'Something I Can Never Have' (2/3) (R)
Title: Something I Can Never Have (2/3)
Fandom: X-Men (Movie)
Author: deep_salt_water
Pairing/Character: Rogue/Pyro, Logan POV with one-sided Logan/Rogue
Disclaimer: The X-Men aren’t mine; they belong to Marvel and 20th Century Fox.
Word Count: 3047
Rating: R (language more than anything else)
Summary: Jealousy and curiosity causes Logan to follow Rogue, but he discovers more than he had planned.
Placement: AU
Spoilers/Warnings: None really, unless you count things revealed in the first chapter. Some X2 spoilers.
A/N: First part is located here.
Thanks to feeferj for feedback while it was being worked on.
________________________________
Logan stalked back and forth in his own room. He’d torn himself away, after hearing Rogue’s response to Pyro’s low, murmured words. Her voice still rang in his ears.
“One year and counting, Mr. Allerdyce.”
She’d kissed him then-long and deep, and Logan’s eyes had at last fallen on the gold band around the skinny little matchstick’s left ring finger. He could only assume she was wearing a matching one now that she was out of the mansion.
One year. Logan howled inwardly, his knuckles itching as the blades begged for release.
One fucking year!
He paused, his brow lowered. What was the date? He ran a hand though his hair. It was the twenty-something. Twenty-whatever of… Shit, what month was it? He was so fucking angry he couldn’t think straight.
Twenty-fifth! That was it. It was the twenty-fifth of October. So did they get married on the twenty-fifth or the twenty-forth? Technically they’d celebrated on the twenty-fifth as it had already gone past midnight long before that fucking doozy of a revelation came out of Pyro’s mouth. What the fuck was he saying? He didn’t care about what the month was, or the date. His muscles strained as he tried not to roar, but the blades released from his knuckles and he attacked the nearest thing, which happened to be the bed.
The mattress, pillows, sheets-everything was shredded in moments. He stood, material and feathers falling through the air around him, and his chest heaving as he retracted the claws.
One fucking year. How was it that she could keep something like that from him? He hadn’t smelt Pyro on her until two weeks ago. His anger suddenly wavered as a thought struck him. October last year he was in Canada, and he hadn’t returned until February of this year. The deceitful little tramp had waited until he was across the border before she’d wedded that Bic-flicker. Logan resumed his pacing, his fists clenching and unclenching. And the one year didn’t even include whatever fucking courting period they’d been through. He assumed there had been dating and all that shit. How long had she been keeping this secret?
Before Pyro had left? After he’d left? Had she cheated on Ice Prick all those years ago?
Logan shuddered at the thought of comparing himself with Drake. True, Logan and Marie had never been a couple, but what the fuck did that matter? The girl-woman-he loved was now someone’s wife!
He stood, his nostrils flaring in anger as his claws popped out of his knuckles. He clenched his jaw and swiped at the wall, leaving six gouges behind. Just as he retracted them, moans and soft voices carried to his ears. The moans grew louder, and Logan swore profusely under his breath.
Not satisfied with fucking in the main room, apparently the happy couple also needed to fuck in the bedroom.
Logan couldn’t take anymore. He glared at the wall before making sure to bang the door on his way out. No way did he need to listen to that shit all night. He didn’t need constant reminders of how accomplished Pyro was at getting Marie off, and he certainly didn’t need to hear her singing his fucking praises loud enough for the entire fucking hotel to hear.
He marched through the lobby, intent on getting as far away from that building as possible. The clerk called after him, but he just turned his head and snarled, not breaking his stride.
***
He’d managed to successfully avoid her for a week, choosing to spend his days in the Danger Room and his nights chasing the cage fights from bar to bar. Once upon a time he may have also fucked a few nameless fight groupies, but he couldn’t now. The only woman he wanted to be fucking had white streaks framing her face, brown eyes, fair skin, and a goddamn husband.
Every time Allerdyce’s words echoed in his mind, Logan felt bile rise in his throat, and the familiar itching between his knuckles as his claws fought for release. Their inevitable extension only bringing momentary relief as he reveled in the pain they brought.
He just knew the moment he saw her, things could go one of two ways. He’d either drop to his knees begging for her to choose him and leave her husband, or he’d wind up yelling and cussing, unable to hold back the rage. He figured that at least to preserve his own dignity, he’d avoid her. It also gave him time to plot the best way to kill Allerdyce without getting the blame.
He closed his eyes and he washed down the bile with a long draught from the bottle of whiskey he clutched. He turned his head at the sound of all too familiar footfalls, her scent carrying to him over the breeze.
The one day he’d chosen to spend in the grounds of the mansion, and she’d found him.
Her dazzling smile as she approached did nothing to abate the anger and hurt he felt. He took another swig of whiskey, pleased that he hadn’t yet started blubbering or yelling. It helped that she wasn’t currently reeking of sex. He didn’t even pick up a single trace of that little firebug.
“There you are!”
She continued to smile, oblivious to the ‘fuck off and leave me alone’ aura he was desperately trying to project.
“Feels like I’ve been looking for you all week. You keep hiding yourself like that, and a girl might think you’re trying to avoid her.”
Logan grunted, not meeting her gaze. Her eyes must’ve have fallen on the bottle, because all trace of happiness disappeared from her voice.
“Logan, are you okay?”
He grunted again, wondering how she could have interpreted the noise as a signal to come closer. She flinched when he finally looked at her. He ignored the brief spike of fear in her scent, determined not to feel sorry about his demeanor.
“Logan, what’s wrong?”
She looked at him, waiting for him to answer, but he kept his mouth shut.
“Talk to me.”
She took a tentative step forward, holding her hand out like she was going to touch him. Logan bit back the growl rising inside, choosing to take a swig from the bottle instead.
She’d dropped her hand, obviously deciding against touching him as she continued to watch him carefully, standing there awkwardly as the silence between them dragged out.
Rogue finally cleared her throat, speaking quietly. “Can I at least get a clue, or something? You don’t have to tell me exactly what’s wrong, just give me a hint or a word, or anything, and then I’ll leave you to sit here and drink.”
Well maybe he could give her a hint, or a word. He took a long sip, grimacing as he looked at the bottle and realised he’d be needing another one pretty soon. “How about you go console your husband instead, and leave me the fuck alone.”
Shit, that’d been a lot more than he’d intended to come out. A little squeak escaped Rogue’s throat and he looked up to find her standing there with her mouth hanging open as she stared at him. Looked like it’d been a lot more than she’d been expecting too. He indulged in a brief moment of pleasure at the thought that he’d put her off balance.
He raised an eyebrow, sneering. “Surely you realised when you started stinkin’ of him that it was only a matter of time before I found out.”
Rogue swallowed audibly, chewing her bottom lip. “I-I figured you’d work out I was seeing someone, didn’t really expect you to smell matrimony on me.”
Normally her nervousness had a certain positive affect on him, but right now it just served to feed his anger. She hadn’t even tried to deny it. “How I found out don’t matter, darlin’. What matters is you concealing certain life-changing events from me.” He paused, his eyes drilling into her. “I thought we were friends.”
She took a couple steps forward, her words coming out in rush. “You’re the best friend I got, but you don’t understand. When me and-”
He stood up, towering over her. “What I understand is that you got no fucking respect for me.”
Her eyes widened, and she blanched. “Logan, please don’t be angry with me. I had to keep it from you.”
Logan frowned. “You had to do shit.” Her chocolate eyes started tearing up and his anger wavered for a moment-but only a moment. “You don’t fucking get it do you?”
She shook her head.
“I love you, Marie. I’ve loved you since you got in my truck and I loved you when you were with Drake and I’ve never stopped loving you for five goddamn years. Not even when I smelt that fucking candlewick’s scent all over you.” He stopped to take a deep breath, the uncharacteristic soul-baring taking it’s toll. “And I still fucking love you even when I know that you’re married to him.”
“Logan…”
He watched her struggle to come up with some kind of reply. When she just closed her mouth and went back to staring at him, he decided just to let everything else come out too.
“I’ve wanted you for so goddamn long, but I was willing to be patient. I wanted to give you a chance to grow up a little, and stop playing with boys and start wanting a real man.” He let out a derisive snort, angry at his own stupidity. “Never thought you’d be fucking that little shit in the meantime. So tell me, Rogue, when exactly did it start between you two?” He stepped into her personal space, backing her up a bit. “When was it that you decided that he was the one for you?” He grabbed her wrist, keeping his grip tight. “Was it a furtive glance across the classroom that got your panties in a bunch? Or did he only get you wet after he became part of The Brotherhood?”
She tried to pull out of his grip. “Stop it, Logan.”
“Don’t think for one second I enjoy asking these things, darlin’. You think I want to hear about the first time you two fucked? Think I want to hear about the moment your eyes met and you knew you were in love? It kills me to think he gets to see you naked, gets to make you moan, gets to kiss you and touch you.” Logan tried to ignore the way his voice started to fill with pain, tried to ignore the way his anger was fast turning into anguish. “It should have been me, Marie.” His gaze dropped to the ground, no longer wishing to look at her. “It should have been me.”
He flinched as her hand touched his cheek, but as she kept stroking the side of his face he closed his eyes and leant into her caress.
“I’m so sorry, Logan.”
He heard the little gasps, heard her voice breaking. He didn’t want to open his eyes, didn’t need to see the tears on her face.
“I never meant to hurt you.”
“Do you know how much satisfaction it would give me to be able to kill him?” He finally looked up, meeting her gaze. “Do you know how much I want his blood right now? He gets to call you his, and I never will.”
This time it was Rogue who broke eye contact. The tears were rolling down her cheeks and she took a gasping breath, trying to get her emotions under control. “I’m sorry.”
Logan let out a growl, frowning. “Stop saying that.”
She looked up at him. “What else do you want me to say?”
Logan shrugged. “Anything other than sorry.”
Her hand fell from his face, and she took a little step back, his grip on her wrist still restricting her movement. “I got sick of waiting.”
He looked at her. “What does that mean?”
Rogue held his gaze. “I was waiting for you to make your move, to see me as more than a kid. I thought you were just too busy trying to get into Jean’s pants to see me as more than a kid sister.” She smiled sadly. “Didn’t realise you were actually being a gentleman. I got sick of waiting, so when John looked at me and I saw he wanted me…”
Logan smiled sardonically. “You got sick of waiting.”
She nodded. “Bobby never really looked at me as anything other than…” she trailed off and shrugged, “a challenge or something. John looked at me like I was,” she couldn’t hold back the smile, “the only thing that mattered. It did start off as a bit of fun, like a game or something.” She looked up at him. “I was kinda glad you were in Canada at the time, because otherwise you would have smelt him on me back then.”
Logan's brow knitted in confusion. “Back then?” He looked at her for a long moment, his brows rising in surprise as it clicked into place. “You mean before Stryker attacked?”
She nodded and had the decency to look a little guilty. “I know I was with Bobby, but me and John, we sometimes,” she blushed, suddenly embarrassed, “fooled around.” Her eyes widened as she realised what he might interpret that as. “Not sex, just… you know.”
He was pretty sure he did know, in fact he’d thought about it many, many times. He watched as she bit her lip, lost in memory.
“And then you came back, and I guess I thought maybe you’d see a change in me or something. See that I wasn’t a little girl anymore,” hurt crossed her face as she looked at him, “but you didn’t. It was still about Jean as far as I could tell. And then, as you know, all hell broke loose. And John always knew, by the way.” She made a vague gesture with her hand. “He knew how I felt about you.” The smile was back on her face. “And it still didn’t matter to him, he wanted me no matter what. Then, as you know, he left. Only he came and found me.”
Logan felt the bile rise at the grin she was trying to keep back. He’d notice the past tenses, noticed the way she’d said ‘felt’.
“Not here at the mansion, when I was in town. Things went from there, and it got serious pretty quick. The only problem was the whole X-Men versus Brotherhood thing. It was harder than we thought to be able to meet in the field without giving our secret away. There was one fight where Magneto wanted Pyro to, ah,” she struggled to keep the emotion out of her voice, “hurt me. He couldn’t though and he suffered for it. Yet another reason me and Magneto will never be able to drink a beer together.” No laughter came from her, and she shrugged, trying to rid herself of bad memories. “We made a bargain then. He left The Brotherhood, and was willing to try life on the straight and narrow. I didn’t have control then, so it wasn’t like I could be the one to go out in the ‘real world’. His ability was easier to disguise.” She laughed. “Well, it was for a bit. He got a job with the fire department. You’d be amazed what they’re willing to pay a pyrokinetic.”
Logan raised an eyebrow, finding it hard to believe that Allerdyce would ever willingly work for-or alongside-humans.
Rogue saw his look. “I didn’t make him, he volunteered. So that was about what? A year and a half ago, I think. He asked me to marry him not long after.” She smiled at Logan’s expression. “Hey, I was as surprised as you were. St. John Allerdyce wanting to get married was quite a shock! There was only one answer I could give him, though. Didn’t take much thought.” Her smile disappeared. “I love him, Logan.”
Logan closed his eyes, trying hard not to take apart the tree they were standing near. “So why’d you wait until I was in Canada to marry him?” He held up a hand as she began to reply. “And while you’re at it, how’d you cover up his scent all this time?”
Rogue smiled mischievously. “Having you in my head does have its advantages, sugar. That, and a little old fashioned research. As for waiting until you were in Canada, that was more coincidence than anything else. We’d already planned the date, and then you’d left in September, so…” She shrugged.
Logan nodded, still not liking what he was hearing. He liked the question that just popped into his head even less, but had to ask it. “Where’d you get married?”
The question surprised Rogue, but she smiled. “Courthouse. Not like we were going to have a big wedding here at the mansion. A couple of the guys who work with John were witnesses.”
“So no one here knows?”
She shook her head. “Just you for now.”
Logan raised an eyebrow. “For now?”
Rogue nodded. “Me and John had a deal. If we made it through the first year of marriage and he also kept his job, then we’d tell everyone. Make it all official and quit the hiding.” She smiled broadly. “And we’ve made it through the first year, so now we make the big announcement to everyone.”
Logan backed up and sat back on the bench, draining the bottle. Rogue didn’t know that he already knew they’d made it through the first year, and he was not about the tell her. He ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus Christ, Marie.”
She stayed standing, at a loss as to what to do next. She backed up when he got to his feet again. He looked at her for a long moment. Logan took a breath to say something, then looked down at the bottle.
“I need to go get another drink.”
He turned, heading towards the mansion. When she called out to him, he clenched his jaw and willed himself not to turn back. It would only hurt more.
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Fandom: X-Men (Movie)
Author: deep_salt_water
Pairing/Character: Rogue/Pyro, Logan POV with one-sided Logan/Rogue
Disclaimer: The X-Men aren’t mine; they belong to Marvel and 20th Century Fox.
Word Count: 3047
Rating: R (language more than anything else)
Summary: Jealousy and curiosity causes Logan to follow Rogue, but he discovers more than he had planned.
Placement: AU
Spoilers/Warnings: None really, unless you count things revealed in the first chapter. Some X2 spoilers.
A/N: First part is located here.
Thanks to feeferj for feedback while it was being worked on.
________________________________
Logan stalked back and forth in his own room. He’d torn himself away, after hearing Rogue’s response to Pyro’s low, murmured words. Her voice still rang in his ears.
“One year and counting, Mr. Allerdyce.”
She’d kissed him then-long and deep, and Logan’s eyes had at last fallen on the gold band around the skinny little matchstick’s left ring finger. He could only assume she was wearing a matching one now that she was out of the mansion.
One year. Logan howled inwardly, his knuckles itching as the blades begged for release.
One fucking year!
He paused, his brow lowered. What was the date? He ran a hand though his hair. It was the twenty-something. Twenty-whatever of… Shit, what month was it? He was so fucking angry he couldn’t think straight.
Twenty-fifth! That was it. It was the twenty-fifth of October. So did they get married on the twenty-fifth or the twenty-forth? Technically they’d celebrated on the twenty-fifth as it had already gone past midnight long before that fucking doozy of a revelation came out of Pyro’s mouth. What the fuck was he saying? He didn’t care about what the month was, or the date. His muscles strained as he tried not to roar, but the blades released from his knuckles and he attacked the nearest thing, which happened to be the bed.
The mattress, pillows, sheets-everything was shredded in moments. He stood, material and feathers falling through the air around him, and his chest heaving as he retracted the claws.
One fucking year. How was it that she could keep something like that from him? He hadn’t smelt Pyro on her until two weeks ago. His anger suddenly wavered as a thought struck him. October last year he was in Canada, and he hadn’t returned until February of this year. The deceitful little tramp had waited until he was across the border before she’d wedded that Bic-flicker. Logan resumed his pacing, his fists clenching and unclenching. And the one year didn’t even include whatever fucking courting period they’d been through. He assumed there had been dating and all that shit. How long had she been keeping this secret?
Before Pyro had left? After he’d left? Had she cheated on Ice Prick all those years ago?
Logan shuddered at the thought of comparing himself with Drake. True, Logan and Marie had never been a couple, but what the fuck did that matter? The girl-woman-he loved was now someone’s wife!
He stood, his nostrils flaring in anger as his claws popped out of his knuckles. He clenched his jaw and swiped at the wall, leaving six gouges behind. Just as he retracted them, moans and soft voices carried to his ears. The moans grew louder, and Logan swore profusely under his breath.
Not satisfied with fucking in the main room, apparently the happy couple also needed to fuck in the bedroom.
Logan couldn’t take anymore. He glared at the wall before making sure to bang the door on his way out. No way did he need to listen to that shit all night. He didn’t need constant reminders of how accomplished Pyro was at getting Marie off, and he certainly didn’t need to hear her singing his fucking praises loud enough for the entire fucking hotel to hear.
He marched through the lobby, intent on getting as far away from that building as possible. The clerk called after him, but he just turned his head and snarled, not breaking his stride.
***
He’d managed to successfully avoid her for a week, choosing to spend his days in the Danger Room and his nights chasing the cage fights from bar to bar. Once upon a time he may have also fucked a few nameless fight groupies, but he couldn’t now. The only woman he wanted to be fucking had white streaks framing her face, brown eyes, fair skin, and a goddamn husband.
Every time Allerdyce’s words echoed in his mind, Logan felt bile rise in his throat, and the familiar itching between his knuckles as his claws fought for release. Their inevitable extension only bringing momentary relief as he reveled in the pain they brought.
He just knew the moment he saw her, things could go one of two ways. He’d either drop to his knees begging for her to choose him and leave her husband, or he’d wind up yelling and cussing, unable to hold back the rage. He figured that at least to preserve his own dignity, he’d avoid her. It also gave him time to plot the best way to kill Allerdyce without getting the blame.
He closed his eyes and he washed down the bile with a long draught from the bottle of whiskey he clutched. He turned his head at the sound of all too familiar footfalls, her scent carrying to him over the breeze.
The one day he’d chosen to spend in the grounds of the mansion, and she’d found him.
Her dazzling smile as she approached did nothing to abate the anger and hurt he felt. He took another swig of whiskey, pleased that he hadn’t yet started blubbering or yelling. It helped that she wasn’t currently reeking of sex. He didn’t even pick up a single trace of that little firebug.
“There you are!”
She continued to smile, oblivious to the ‘fuck off and leave me alone’ aura he was desperately trying to project.
“Feels like I’ve been looking for you all week. You keep hiding yourself like that, and a girl might think you’re trying to avoid her.”
Logan grunted, not meeting her gaze. Her eyes must’ve have fallen on the bottle, because all trace of happiness disappeared from her voice.
“Logan, are you okay?”
He grunted again, wondering how she could have interpreted the noise as a signal to come closer. She flinched when he finally looked at her. He ignored the brief spike of fear in her scent, determined not to feel sorry about his demeanor.
“Logan, what’s wrong?”
She looked at him, waiting for him to answer, but he kept his mouth shut.
“Talk to me.”
She took a tentative step forward, holding her hand out like she was going to touch him. Logan bit back the growl rising inside, choosing to take a swig from the bottle instead.
She’d dropped her hand, obviously deciding against touching him as she continued to watch him carefully, standing there awkwardly as the silence between them dragged out.
Rogue finally cleared her throat, speaking quietly. “Can I at least get a clue, or something? You don’t have to tell me exactly what’s wrong, just give me a hint or a word, or anything, and then I’ll leave you to sit here and drink.”
Well maybe he could give her a hint, or a word. He took a long sip, grimacing as he looked at the bottle and realised he’d be needing another one pretty soon. “How about you go console your husband instead, and leave me the fuck alone.”
Shit, that’d been a lot more than he’d intended to come out. A little squeak escaped Rogue’s throat and he looked up to find her standing there with her mouth hanging open as she stared at him. Looked like it’d been a lot more than she’d been expecting too. He indulged in a brief moment of pleasure at the thought that he’d put her off balance.
He raised an eyebrow, sneering. “Surely you realised when you started stinkin’ of him that it was only a matter of time before I found out.”
Rogue swallowed audibly, chewing her bottom lip. “I-I figured you’d work out I was seeing someone, didn’t really expect you to smell matrimony on me.”
Normally her nervousness had a certain positive affect on him, but right now it just served to feed his anger. She hadn’t even tried to deny it. “How I found out don’t matter, darlin’. What matters is you concealing certain life-changing events from me.” He paused, his eyes drilling into her. “I thought we were friends.”
She took a couple steps forward, her words coming out in rush. “You’re the best friend I got, but you don’t understand. When me and-”
He stood up, towering over her. “What I understand is that you got no fucking respect for me.”
Her eyes widened, and she blanched. “Logan, please don’t be angry with me. I had to keep it from you.”
Logan frowned. “You had to do shit.” Her chocolate eyes started tearing up and his anger wavered for a moment-but only a moment. “You don’t fucking get it do you?”
She shook her head.
“I love you, Marie. I’ve loved you since you got in my truck and I loved you when you were with Drake and I’ve never stopped loving you for five goddamn years. Not even when I smelt that fucking candlewick’s scent all over you.” He stopped to take a deep breath, the uncharacteristic soul-baring taking it’s toll. “And I still fucking love you even when I know that you’re married to him.”
“Logan…”
He watched her struggle to come up with some kind of reply. When she just closed her mouth and went back to staring at him, he decided just to let everything else come out too.
“I’ve wanted you for so goddamn long, but I was willing to be patient. I wanted to give you a chance to grow up a little, and stop playing with boys and start wanting a real man.” He let out a derisive snort, angry at his own stupidity. “Never thought you’d be fucking that little shit in the meantime. So tell me, Rogue, when exactly did it start between you two?” He stepped into her personal space, backing her up a bit. “When was it that you decided that he was the one for you?” He grabbed her wrist, keeping his grip tight. “Was it a furtive glance across the classroom that got your panties in a bunch? Or did he only get you wet after he became part of The Brotherhood?”
She tried to pull out of his grip. “Stop it, Logan.”
“Don’t think for one second I enjoy asking these things, darlin’. You think I want to hear about the first time you two fucked? Think I want to hear about the moment your eyes met and you knew you were in love? It kills me to think he gets to see you naked, gets to make you moan, gets to kiss you and touch you.” Logan tried to ignore the way his voice started to fill with pain, tried to ignore the way his anger was fast turning into anguish. “It should have been me, Marie.” His gaze dropped to the ground, no longer wishing to look at her. “It should have been me.”
He flinched as her hand touched his cheek, but as she kept stroking the side of his face he closed his eyes and leant into her caress.
“I’m so sorry, Logan.”
He heard the little gasps, heard her voice breaking. He didn’t want to open his eyes, didn’t need to see the tears on her face.
“I never meant to hurt you.”
“Do you know how much satisfaction it would give me to be able to kill him?” He finally looked up, meeting her gaze. “Do you know how much I want his blood right now? He gets to call you his, and I never will.”
This time it was Rogue who broke eye contact. The tears were rolling down her cheeks and she took a gasping breath, trying to get her emotions under control. “I’m sorry.”
Logan let out a growl, frowning. “Stop saying that.”
She looked up at him. “What else do you want me to say?”
Logan shrugged. “Anything other than sorry.”
Her hand fell from his face, and she took a little step back, his grip on her wrist still restricting her movement. “I got sick of waiting.”
He looked at her. “What does that mean?”
Rogue held his gaze. “I was waiting for you to make your move, to see me as more than a kid. I thought you were just too busy trying to get into Jean’s pants to see me as more than a kid sister.” She smiled sadly. “Didn’t realise you were actually being a gentleman. I got sick of waiting, so when John looked at me and I saw he wanted me…”
Logan smiled sardonically. “You got sick of waiting.”
She nodded. “Bobby never really looked at me as anything other than…” she trailed off and shrugged, “a challenge or something. John looked at me like I was,” she couldn’t hold back the smile, “the only thing that mattered. It did start off as a bit of fun, like a game or something.” She looked up at him. “I was kinda glad you were in Canada at the time, because otherwise you would have smelt him on me back then.”
Logan's brow knitted in confusion. “Back then?” He looked at her for a long moment, his brows rising in surprise as it clicked into place. “You mean before Stryker attacked?”
She nodded and had the decency to look a little guilty. “I know I was with Bobby, but me and John, we sometimes,” she blushed, suddenly embarrassed, “fooled around.” Her eyes widened as she realised what he might interpret that as. “Not sex, just… you know.”
He was pretty sure he did know, in fact he’d thought about it many, many times. He watched as she bit her lip, lost in memory.
“And then you came back, and I guess I thought maybe you’d see a change in me or something. See that I wasn’t a little girl anymore,” hurt crossed her face as she looked at him, “but you didn’t. It was still about Jean as far as I could tell. And then, as you know, all hell broke loose. And John always knew, by the way.” She made a vague gesture with her hand. “He knew how I felt about you.” The smile was back on her face. “And it still didn’t matter to him, he wanted me no matter what. Then, as you know, he left. Only he came and found me.”
Logan felt the bile rise at the grin she was trying to keep back. He’d notice the past tenses, noticed the way she’d said ‘felt’.
“Not here at the mansion, when I was in town. Things went from there, and it got serious pretty quick. The only problem was the whole X-Men versus Brotherhood thing. It was harder than we thought to be able to meet in the field without giving our secret away. There was one fight where Magneto wanted Pyro to, ah,” she struggled to keep the emotion out of her voice, “hurt me. He couldn’t though and he suffered for it. Yet another reason me and Magneto will never be able to drink a beer together.” No laughter came from her, and she shrugged, trying to rid herself of bad memories. “We made a bargain then. He left The Brotherhood, and was willing to try life on the straight and narrow. I didn’t have control then, so it wasn’t like I could be the one to go out in the ‘real world’. His ability was easier to disguise.” She laughed. “Well, it was for a bit. He got a job with the fire department. You’d be amazed what they’re willing to pay a pyrokinetic.”
Logan raised an eyebrow, finding it hard to believe that Allerdyce would ever willingly work for-or alongside-humans.
Rogue saw his look. “I didn’t make him, he volunteered. So that was about what? A year and a half ago, I think. He asked me to marry him not long after.” She smiled at Logan’s expression. “Hey, I was as surprised as you were. St. John Allerdyce wanting to get married was quite a shock! There was only one answer I could give him, though. Didn’t take much thought.” Her smile disappeared. “I love him, Logan.”
Logan closed his eyes, trying hard not to take apart the tree they were standing near. “So why’d you wait until I was in Canada to marry him?” He held up a hand as she began to reply. “And while you’re at it, how’d you cover up his scent all this time?”
Rogue smiled mischievously. “Having you in my head does have its advantages, sugar. That, and a little old fashioned research. As for waiting until you were in Canada, that was more coincidence than anything else. We’d already planned the date, and then you’d left in September, so…” She shrugged.
Logan nodded, still not liking what he was hearing. He liked the question that just popped into his head even less, but had to ask it. “Where’d you get married?”
The question surprised Rogue, but she smiled. “Courthouse. Not like we were going to have a big wedding here at the mansion. A couple of the guys who work with John were witnesses.”
“So no one here knows?”
She shook her head. “Just you for now.”
Logan raised an eyebrow. “For now?”
Rogue nodded. “Me and John had a deal. If we made it through the first year of marriage and he also kept his job, then we’d tell everyone. Make it all official and quit the hiding.” She smiled broadly. “And we’ve made it through the first year, so now we make the big announcement to everyone.”
Logan backed up and sat back on the bench, draining the bottle. Rogue didn’t know that he already knew they’d made it through the first year, and he was not about the tell her. He ran a hand through his hair. “Jesus Christ, Marie.”
She stayed standing, at a loss as to what to do next. She backed up when he got to his feet again. He looked at her for a long moment. Logan took a breath to say something, then looked down at the bottle.
“I need to go get another drink.”
He turned, heading towards the mansion. When she called out to him, he clenched his jaw and willed himself not to turn back. It would only hurt more.
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