not sure what to title this badboy...meep.
To be fair, I give myself credit for really calming down a lot in terms of my feelings for PJ. I think it's a nice achievement for me. Seeing as I am typically the kind of person that when i like someone I fall HARD for them, which encompasses a lot of strong emotions. Granted I still have those nagging feelings of...y'know...admiration?...or whatever for a lack of better word, I am not freaking out or being a fangirling mess anymore whenever he uploads a new video or whenever he makes a tweet and I sit there pondering for 15 minutes trying to think of a witty comeback. I'm not that way anymore, which is great. Because now I can focus that energy onto something else.
Obviously I know that PJ is a regular person just like anyone else, which is why I was uh, perhaps, denying or trying to make myself believe before this point that I wasn't falling into this toxic fat of love or whatever for this guy I didn't personally know.
I still like him, my feelings are just not intense anymore. Which is, like I said, so great because now I just feel normal.
About four days ago I was refreshing my YouTube page when i saw that PJ had literally just uploaded a new video. It was so new that it had no comments and only 26 views on it, which was weird. But anywho, I watched it and I loved it as always. It was pretty much him showing around his new room in his new flat with his friends that all make films together. In the video he was also saying that he was living on the somewhat minimalist lifestyle whilst still encasing himself with small handfulls of bits and bobs that reflect his personality and make it feel enough like home to him. At the end he basically said "let me know what your rooms are like, I'd like to know!" and without even trying to be funny or witty or anything stupid like that, I just wrote what came naturally to me.
To which I said basically "for myself personally, I would find it quite hard to live somewhat minimalistically because I like to hold on to all of my nostalgic items and such. Which is why my room is surrounded by posters and toys of my past. But you can still be an adult and have stuffed animals!". I added the last sentence about stuffed animals primarily for him because in his video he was also saying that he still has his stuffed and plush toys even as a 22 year old paying taxes as such. So I wanted to almost say "hey, it's totally fine to be an adult and have your toys!".
Probably within about 5 minutes he sent in a reply to me. His comment said "that's a great way to be!". My emotions were as followed:
1. I was not expecting any sort of reply whatsoever since he hasn't replied to a comment I made on his videos since this past March
2. To think that he took the time to read what I had to say, and think that it's wonderful that I can't physically or emotionally let go of the things I consider close to me that hold some nostalgic recollection is so lovely. It made me feel so much better about the way I live because I know what he means. I'm an adult living in society as well and I still have my old toys, stuffed animals, and some posters here and there from when I was a teenager/child.
I just wanted to kind of give an update to this whole matter. It's something that i'm definitely reigning my feelings and everything in on. I feel a bit more relaxed with it as well. Which I think is important.
that video is here
Obviously I know that PJ is a regular person just like anyone else, which is why I was uh, perhaps, denying or trying to make myself believe before this point that I wasn't falling into this toxic fat of love or whatever for this guy I didn't personally know.
I still like him, my feelings are just not intense anymore. Which is, like I said, so great because now I just feel normal.
About four days ago I was refreshing my YouTube page when i saw that PJ had literally just uploaded a new video. It was so new that it had no comments and only 26 views on it, which was weird. But anywho, I watched it and I loved it as always. It was pretty much him showing around his new room in his new flat with his friends that all make films together. In the video he was also saying that he was living on the somewhat minimalist lifestyle whilst still encasing himself with small handfulls of bits and bobs that reflect his personality and make it feel enough like home to him. At the end he basically said "let me know what your rooms are like, I'd like to know!" and without even trying to be funny or witty or anything stupid like that, I just wrote what came naturally to me.
To which I said basically "for myself personally, I would find it quite hard to live somewhat minimalistically because I like to hold on to all of my nostalgic items and such. Which is why my room is surrounded by posters and toys of my past. But you can still be an adult and have stuffed animals!". I added the last sentence about stuffed animals primarily for him because in his video he was also saying that he still has his stuffed and plush toys even as a 22 year old paying taxes as such. So I wanted to almost say "hey, it's totally fine to be an adult and have your toys!".
Probably within about 5 minutes he sent in a reply to me. His comment said "that's a great way to be!". My emotions were as followed:
1. I was not expecting any sort of reply whatsoever since he hasn't replied to a comment I made on his videos since this past March
2. To think that he took the time to read what I had to say, and think that it's wonderful that I can't physically or emotionally let go of the things I consider close to me that hold some nostalgic recollection is so lovely. It made me feel so much better about the way I live because I know what he means. I'm an adult living in society as well and I still have my old toys, stuffed animals, and some posters here and there from when I was a teenager/child.
I just wanted to kind of give an update to this whole matter. It's something that i'm definitely reigning my feelings and everything in on. I feel a bit more relaxed with it as well. Which I think is important.
that video is here
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