My journey in the past month
7/19
Communication of emotion is the method upon which relationships, bonds, and thus society are based. Therefore, for a relationship or society itself to function properly, proper communication must be first established. Not only thoughts or ideas must be communicated, but also the core feeling that is present.
6/28
Glistening, a vague form so desperately longing to be something more. Curving in and out, something that is at once nothing and is everything. Shimmering yet dull, solid yet fragile; an eternal symbol for what it is to be human. Longing, desire; the lump of potentiality in each of us, yet none of us able to shape it into anything more than this lump.
6/29
Identity can best be described as the dynamic nature of the subjective experience of existence.
6/30
It's like shutting your eyes tight and watching the dancing swirls that are there. You can vaguely make something out of it - the colors and waves of energy and patterns - they all come together; surely this means something...
7/1
But that's all right... learn to let your unconscious guide you, learn to be honest with and trust yourself, follow your heart and you'll see that it all works out in the end. What a strange yet somehow beautiful world we live in.
7/1
...and that's life man... ain't nothin' but jazz.
7/6
Throughout the course of your life, you will face time and time again insurmountable obstacles, trials that will test every fiber of your being. You will be presented with seemingly endless, and impossible, sets of difficulties. You will despair and you will feel frightened. You will wish for a release, an escape, an end to all of this.
If there is one thing to be learned from the entire course of human history, if there is one worthwhile anything that has been discovered... it is hope. Hope. The firey passion in your heart - be it for a lover, a melody, an idea - take this passion and be hopeful. Do everything in your power to nourish your hope and let it prosper inside you. For it is by hope that we have been created. For it is by hope that our youths fall in love on summer nights... For it is by hope that we may fight for the things that we believe in. Take your passion, take your hope, and live. Through hope you will find your difficultes diminish... through hope you will find your dreams... through hope we may find peace in our hearts. For it is by hope... that we are human
7/11
Words are nothing. Understanding is unnecessary. Nonaction is the key.
unknown
The key is to realizing that there aren't steps. There is no definitive way to gauge your progress. It's a cycle... Trust your instincts, follow your heart, and that's progress. Improvement isn't something you see in real-time... it's all in hindsight. Where were you a year ago?
unknown
Naturally, experience is the core of life, and it certainly has its ups and downs. Learn to enjoy both and you will find life itself enjoyable.
7/19
The way to truth is not a path set in stone. The way to serenity is not to be found in a book or idea. The way to the source is directly through yourself.
7/6
I can't quite put a finger on this. It's not happiness... it's not sadness either, as she said. It's just floating. You can't control it, so you worry. But you're just a cloud, floating by... your emotions change as the sunlight passes through your being, different shades and varieties... You can't quite catch a thought - nothing solid to hold on to... it all seems so hopeless, but in a way, you can't even care. I'm scared that this doesn't hurt.
unknown
I'm going to be great... if not out of talent, then out of anger. Fuck you. Fuck you!
7/20
I'm young, wild, I see myself as having a lot of potential. I have a little bit of an ego. I enjoy reading, writing, and music. I cherish my friends. I have a girl back home I love so deeply often times it hurts. Sometimes I cry when I'm upset and when I'm angry I use the word 'fuck' a lot...
7/5
Fuck this. Fuck him, and fuck his ability to make them laugh. I hate to put some of these pure-hearted folk down, but fuck them. Fuck the rest (and stab it dead). I'm better than every single person in this room. Mike included. It's such a strange feeling... where are my equals? Where the fuck are my superiors? Who the fuck is better than me? I don't mean like... being a better writer or even a better person. I just mean... who the hell has the park of potential that I feel in myself? I don't like feeling superior. I just want to find someone better than me at something I really care about, something worthwhile. I want to look at someone and really aspire to be greater. Not than them, but greater than myself. I want the motivation, the fire inside of me, to make me desire to be something great. I'm fucking bored. I want a challenge. I want adventure... I want the chase. I want to have to fight to live. I want that raw feeling inside of me, that primal scream in my heart... I want to scream at the top of my lungs, get everyone's attention, then burst out into song and dance. Fuck you.
7/5
Ebb and flow, the hearts of two lovers are one. Wrapping around, their bodies passing beyond carnality into a realm where the senses fail and one is lost; chaotic beauty in a spiral of sensuous nothing.
Wherefore then are the hopes of the youth lying along such a place where the self is lost? Can there be true beauty without the individual, wherein lies perception, in turn the root of beauty? As the self is lost, perception and beauty are no more. Why would one throw away the ability to exist as an individual and no longer be able to see beauty?
The answer lies within the transmutation of two souls into a greater being. This being does not perceive in a way familiar to us, but rather it simply experiences all. It does not reside in flesh; it's invisible, inaudible; there is no aroma or taste. The being weaves in and out of our hearts, a great serpent with a firey tongue. We fear it, yet we can do nothing but face it. Its fire burns around and among us, and when it passes, only a solemn silence remains.
7/5
I feel myself slipping further and further away from consciousness. My mind is still clouded, something like an overcast day at the beach. The sun feels slightly warm, but you can't see where it's coming from. You have to understand and accept this warmth before it can reach the true depths of your being. Once you are filled with warmth, look to the sky and watch the clouds miraculously part. Suddenly you are awake, your senses take you over. The bright rays shine and reflect from surfaces everywhere, bathing everything in a natural glow. Even the shadows have this aura of light within their confines. The smell of the ocean is almost overwhelimg, the feeling akin to being light-headed. Waves crash quite audibly, even in the deepest corners of the city. Even the air itself has a certain taste to it, and as the gentle breeze rocks strands of hair from side to side, your body and life itself seem to shift. Time speeds up, time slows down, the only constant, awakening.
7/21
The dogs of war at the heel of the state. Bells echoing through the courtyard, leaves rustling underfoot. The clang of metal on metal, the solemn face of the soldier and the grimace of the mercenary.
O, is this the path to glory? Beyond the gate lies either victory or defeat. This flesh will be torn and our blood will overflow. A crimson city, a triumphant castle towering above mounds of death, lumps rotting and stinking.
All hope lost and our only drive our bitter hearts, voices crying to the heavens for justice or mercy. There will be none. The state will fall and you will die with it. Your own blood will christen the rise of a new empire.
Lovers no more.
7/21
Sweet nectar of life, our hearts filled and overflowing - o, every love spilling over to fill the lowest valleys until the highest peaks soon disappear as well. The Christ is come and he brings not with him chariots of war, but rather song and drink that elates all. Sin gone, lost forever, all one in the hands of God, life is this, the feelings no longer feelings but entities complete unto themselves, whole beings bestowed upon the world by the grace of Our Father...
Ailed no more, the blind shall see and the deaf will hear the chorus of seraphim, serotonin brings the way and all is well, God's in his heaven and all's right with the world.
7/21
Bittersweet solidarity, may you fill the hearts of none. The greatest terror is not that of carnality, but rather a being so fleeting you often never sense its menacing presence. Only when you clench with hurt shall you know it is upon you.
Communication of emotion is the method upon which relationships, bonds, and thus society are based. Therefore, for a relationship or society itself to function properly, proper communication must be first established. Not only thoughts or ideas must be communicated, but also the core feeling that is present.
6/28
Glistening, a vague form so desperately longing to be something more. Curving in and out, something that is at once nothing and is everything. Shimmering yet dull, solid yet fragile; an eternal symbol for what it is to be human. Longing, desire; the lump of potentiality in each of us, yet none of us able to shape it into anything more than this lump.
6/29
Identity can best be described as the dynamic nature of the subjective experience of existence.
6/30
It's like shutting your eyes tight and watching the dancing swirls that are there. You can vaguely make something out of it - the colors and waves of energy and patterns - they all come together; surely this means something...
7/1
But that's all right... learn to let your unconscious guide you, learn to be honest with and trust yourself, follow your heart and you'll see that it all works out in the end. What a strange yet somehow beautiful world we live in.
7/1
...and that's life man... ain't nothin' but jazz.
7/6
Throughout the course of your life, you will face time and time again insurmountable obstacles, trials that will test every fiber of your being. You will be presented with seemingly endless, and impossible, sets of difficulties. You will despair and you will feel frightened. You will wish for a release, an escape, an end to all of this.
If there is one thing to be learned from the entire course of human history, if there is one worthwhile anything that has been discovered... it is hope. Hope. The firey passion in your heart - be it for a lover, a melody, an idea - take this passion and be hopeful. Do everything in your power to nourish your hope and let it prosper inside you. For it is by hope that we have been created. For it is by hope that our youths fall in love on summer nights... For it is by hope that we may fight for the things that we believe in. Take your passion, take your hope, and live. Through hope you will find your difficultes diminish... through hope you will find your dreams... through hope we may find peace in our hearts. For it is by hope... that we are human
7/11
Words are nothing. Understanding is unnecessary. Nonaction is the key.
unknown
The key is to realizing that there aren't steps. There is no definitive way to gauge your progress. It's a cycle... Trust your instincts, follow your heart, and that's progress. Improvement isn't something you see in real-time... it's all in hindsight. Where were you a year ago?
unknown
Naturally, experience is the core of life, and it certainly has its ups and downs. Learn to enjoy both and you will find life itself enjoyable.
7/19
The way to truth is not a path set in stone. The way to serenity is not to be found in a book or idea. The way to the source is directly through yourself.
7/6
I can't quite put a finger on this. It's not happiness... it's not sadness either, as she said. It's just floating. You can't control it, so you worry. But you're just a cloud, floating by... your emotions change as the sunlight passes through your being, different shades and varieties... You can't quite catch a thought - nothing solid to hold on to... it all seems so hopeless, but in a way, you can't even care. I'm scared that this doesn't hurt.
unknown
I'm going to be great... if not out of talent, then out of anger. Fuck you. Fuck you!
7/20
I'm young, wild, I see myself as having a lot of potential. I have a little bit of an ego. I enjoy reading, writing, and music. I cherish my friends. I have a girl back home I love so deeply often times it hurts. Sometimes I cry when I'm upset and when I'm angry I use the word 'fuck' a lot...
7/5
Fuck this. Fuck him, and fuck his ability to make them laugh. I hate to put some of these pure-hearted folk down, but fuck them. Fuck the rest (and stab it dead). I'm better than every single person in this room. Mike included. It's such a strange feeling... where are my equals? Where the fuck are my superiors? Who the fuck is better than me? I don't mean like... being a better writer or even a better person. I just mean... who the hell has the park of potential that I feel in myself? I don't like feeling superior. I just want to find someone better than me at something I really care about, something worthwhile. I want to look at someone and really aspire to be greater. Not than them, but greater than myself. I want the motivation, the fire inside of me, to make me desire to be something great. I'm fucking bored. I want a challenge. I want adventure... I want the chase. I want to have to fight to live. I want that raw feeling inside of me, that primal scream in my heart... I want to scream at the top of my lungs, get everyone's attention, then burst out into song and dance. Fuck you.
7/5
Ebb and flow, the hearts of two lovers are one. Wrapping around, their bodies passing beyond carnality into a realm where the senses fail and one is lost; chaotic beauty in a spiral of sensuous nothing.
Wherefore then are the hopes of the youth lying along such a place where the self is lost? Can there be true beauty without the individual, wherein lies perception, in turn the root of beauty? As the self is lost, perception and beauty are no more. Why would one throw away the ability to exist as an individual and no longer be able to see beauty?
The answer lies within the transmutation of two souls into a greater being. This being does not perceive in a way familiar to us, but rather it simply experiences all. It does not reside in flesh; it's invisible, inaudible; there is no aroma or taste. The being weaves in and out of our hearts, a great serpent with a firey tongue. We fear it, yet we can do nothing but face it. Its fire burns around and among us, and when it passes, only a solemn silence remains.
7/5
I feel myself slipping further and further away from consciousness. My mind is still clouded, something like an overcast day at the beach. The sun feels slightly warm, but you can't see where it's coming from. You have to understand and accept this warmth before it can reach the true depths of your being. Once you are filled with warmth, look to the sky and watch the clouds miraculously part. Suddenly you are awake, your senses take you over. The bright rays shine and reflect from surfaces everywhere, bathing everything in a natural glow. Even the shadows have this aura of light within their confines. The smell of the ocean is almost overwhelimg, the feeling akin to being light-headed. Waves crash quite audibly, even in the deepest corners of the city. Even the air itself has a certain taste to it, and as the gentle breeze rocks strands of hair from side to side, your body and life itself seem to shift. Time speeds up, time slows down, the only constant, awakening.
7/21
The dogs of war at the heel of the state. Bells echoing through the courtyard, leaves rustling underfoot. The clang of metal on metal, the solemn face of the soldier and the grimace of the mercenary.
O, is this the path to glory? Beyond the gate lies either victory or defeat. This flesh will be torn and our blood will overflow. A crimson city, a triumphant castle towering above mounds of death, lumps rotting and stinking.
All hope lost and our only drive our bitter hearts, voices crying to the heavens for justice or mercy. There will be none. The state will fall and you will die with it. Your own blood will christen the rise of a new empire.
Lovers no more.
7/21
Sweet nectar of life, our hearts filled and overflowing - o, every love spilling over to fill the lowest valleys until the highest peaks soon disappear as well. The Christ is come and he brings not with him chariots of war, but rather song and drink that elates all. Sin gone, lost forever, all one in the hands of God, life is this, the feelings no longer feelings but entities complete unto themselves, whole beings bestowed upon the world by the grace of Our Father...
Ailed no more, the blind shall see and the deaf will hear the chorus of seraphim, serotonin brings the way and all is well, God's in his heaven and all's right with the world.
7/21
Bittersweet solidarity, may you fill the hearts of none. The greatest terror is not that of carnality, but rather a being so fleeting you often never sense its menacing presence. Only when you clench with hurt shall you know it is upon you.