No (okay, not much) Self-Editing Here.
How is it that one person's head can hold so many "shoulds" at one time? To me, "should" holds the energy of all that pulls me away from now.
I took a ride with a dear friend (I'll call her Unit) a few weeks ago, and I caught myself getting wrapped up in the "shoulds" of yesterday, today, tomorrow, and tomorrow's of tomorrows. And then, I just snapped back into myself, fully present once again, and I looked around at the trees & shapes of the traveling road. It was like I had put on my glasses again (had I taken them off?), because the clarity of "now" made the auto-pilot of "then" seem like a blur.
I'm having that feeling of being in the blur (in my life) & not appreciating the moment. But, writing does make me savor the moment a bit more. Oh my God, that's so true. Writing about what I'm feeling actually helps me to savor it a bit more.
There were way too many quotation marks in this entry, and I'm not entirely sure they even belong there, if you're a stickler for grammer. *smile* Ok, this is a bit of a a brain dump entry. I got it.
Anyway, the intent of this evening's entry: I have no idea how to feel from moment to moment right now. Sometimes I feel like I'm spinning around in circles, and the only way to stop is to open up & let go. Holding stuff close to vest just makes the room go 'round faster. And today, I ain't no Championship Figure Skater with that crazy spin they do. (I cringe that I used the word ain't, but so appropo)
Just need to open up. Let go. Breathe. The world may spin, yes, but I have a role in whether it spins me till I puke, or I just enjoy the ride. Tomorrow is another day.
I took a ride with a dear friend (I'll call her Unit) a few weeks ago, and I caught myself getting wrapped up in the "shoulds" of yesterday, today, tomorrow, and tomorrow's of tomorrows. And then, I just snapped back into myself, fully present once again, and I looked around at the trees & shapes of the traveling road. It was like I had put on my glasses again (had I taken them off?), because the clarity of "now" made the auto-pilot of "then" seem like a blur.
I'm having that feeling of being in the blur (in my life) & not appreciating the moment. But, writing does make me savor the moment a bit more. Oh my God, that's so true. Writing about what I'm feeling actually helps me to savor it a bit more.
There were way too many quotation marks in this entry, and I'm not entirely sure they even belong there, if you're a stickler for grammer. *smile* Ok, this is a bit of a a brain dump entry. I got it.
Anyway, the intent of this evening's entry: I have no idea how to feel from moment to moment right now. Sometimes I feel like I'm spinning around in circles, and the only way to stop is to open up & let go. Holding stuff close to vest just makes the room go 'round faster. And today, I ain't no Championship Figure Skater with that crazy spin they do. (I cringe that I used the word ain't, but so appropo)
Just need to open up. Let go. Breathe. The world may spin, yes, but I have a role in whether it spins me till I puke, or I just enjoy the ride. Tomorrow is another day.