Set me free
It's a funny feeling, letting go of your child as he takes his first steps out of the confines of home to explore the world and interact with other little people and large ones too through a seemingly happy medium termed the play school. I was getting all emotional about the day and went on about how fast the boy had grown. I was working up a huge emotional faucet. Just that, when I reached school, there was no time for such high drama with too much action all around, what with 20 kids, looking around in wide eyed wonder accompanied by 20 more anxious mothers and in some cases, the father.
The boy seemed alright, a lot more reticent than usual, observing this new space but not wanting me out of sight. I sat inside with other mothers. Some kids were bawling, others clinging on to mums, some others sitting independently with the teacher, involved in 'jack in the box', clapping his hands. It all seemed surreal. All mothers seemed bonded by one simple aim, all wanted their kids to settle in as smoothly and as soon as possible.
When exactly does one set our children free; and ourselves free in the process? It's not just at the symbolic cutting of the umbilical cord. We are really tested at every step of the child's growth. If the child clings to us, we are pressurised by the thought of whether we are being too protective, if the child is overly independent, we stress about whether we spend enough time to bond with the child, if the child prefers being on his own, we persecute ourselves thinking he is a loner and needs company of kids his age. This never ends. God forbid, if the child acts up and throws a massive tantrum that only a toddler can, especially in public, most often we take this as a personal shortcoming. The many childcare sites, help books and psychoanalysis attempts only leads to one simple fact...there is no
best way. We all do the best we can and we really owe it to ourselves to feel less guilty and during the times these children act stellar,
however brief a period that may be, we can take solace in knowing that there must be something we did right. In the end all one can
do is sigh and take refuge in Khalil Gibran's verse from The Prophet, "You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are
sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might That His arrows may go swift and
far. Let your bending in the archers hand be for gladness; for even as he Loves the arrow that flies, so he also loves the bow that is
stable."
Within the trinity of love, patience and stability is developed the entire bible on parenting.
The boy seemed alright, a lot more reticent than usual, observing this new space but not wanting me out of sight. I sat inside with other mothers. Some kids were bawling, others clinging on to mums, some others sitting independently with the teacher, involved in 'jack in the box', clapping his hands. It all seemed surreal. All mothers seemed bonded by one simple aim, all wanted their kids to settle in as smoothly and as soon as possible.
When exactly does one set our children free; and ourselves free in the process? It's not just at the symbolic cutting of the umbilical cord. We are really tested at every step of the child's growth. If the child clings to us, we are pressurised by the thought of whether we are being too protective, if the child is overly independent, we stress about whether we spend enough time to bond with the child, if the child prefers being on his own, we persecute ourselves thinking he is a loner and needs company of kids his age. This never ends. God forbid, if the child acts up and throws a massive tantrum that only a toddler can, especially in public, most often we take this as a personal shortcoming. The many childcare sites, help books and psychoanalysis attempts only leads to one simple fact...there is no
best way. We all do the best we can and we really owe it to ourselves to feel less guilty and during the times these children act stellar,
however brief a period that may be, we can take solace in knowing that there must be something we did right. In the end all one can
do is sigh and take refuge in Khalil Gibran's verse from The Prophet, "You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are
sent forth. The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might That His arrows may go swift and
far. Let your bending in the archers hand be for gladness; for even as he Loves the arrow that flies, so he also loves the bow that is
stable."
Within the trinity of love, patience and stability is developed the entire bible on parenting.