By chance, after I clicked on a link about the top baby names of 2009 (when did Michael fall off the top 5 for boys?), I saw a link to another article.
Guilt Trip to Somewhere by Rachel Kadish
The title may make you feel wary (it did for me), but read the article all the way through. See what it says about guilt (culpability) vs. shame.
"Pay attention to how this feels, pay attention to how your action just changed your relationships with other people around you, pay attention to whether your heart closed or opened when you did that."
Pay attention and then do something that makes amends.
It's a parenting article, but it helped me think about myself, how I approach situations, and how I want to approach them.