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VH1 Behind the Music - Hell Houndz: The Greatest Girl Group Ever
Hell Houndz was the greatest girl group of all time. Modern rock journalists often compare their awesomeness to that of the GoGo’s. Fronted by Dyanna Zaidman and Mira Bilinkoff, high school best friends from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada, Hell Houndz had humble beginnings.
Bored with what Winnipeg had to offer them after University, the two friends packed up their things and moved to France. After depleting all their funds at gambling and drinking champagne, the two girls split: Mira to travel all over the world, and Dyanna to move to Scotland to become a sheep farmer.
Fifteen years later both girls returned to Winnipeg for the funeral of the beloved Lloyd Axeworthy, the dean of their alma mater, University of Winnipeg and the former mayor of Winnipeg. (please note that this is fiction. I know Lloyd was never our mayor, but he will be. one day...) Neither of the girls knew the other was in town - they did not even see each other at the ceremony. In fact, they ran into each other at the Keewatin Tim Horton’s. The two women sat down and talked for hours. Mira talking about her world travels and experiences and Dyanna discussing her almost marriage to a sheep that she was convinced was Jewish.
Not wanting to loose touch again, the girls made plant to meet up again at Mira’s band concert. While travelling the world Mira met a sensitive hippy earthy Jewish doctor who was working in a Thai orphanage. Together with a chaste monk and Jacob, her new loves adopted Thai son, they formed a band to make extra cash. Incidentally, Thai folk music, the bands specialty, was the utmost favourite music of the later Lloyd Axeworthy. When the city of Winninpeg got wind of Mira’s return (because they knew everyone that was coming back...ok?), they demanded she perform at a show in honour of Lloyd.
During the performance, Dyanna became so moved by the performance that halfway through the show she joined her friend on stage, grabbing the first thing she could find: the spoons. The melody that Dyanna’s spoons and Mira’s tambourine made was such a beautiful harmony that it made the crowd go wild. Incidentally, that night, Gord McLerk, who was a rep. for Rude Records, the worlds hippest, trendiest record label, was good friends with Lloyd and had come to the show. He was so taken aback with their sound that he demanded they sign with him on the spot. After a hard night of partying, Dyanna’s subconscious began to speak to her. In her deep, alcohol induced sleep, Dyanna dreamt that she was being eaten to death in the fiery pits of the underworld by the hounds of hell. Hell Hounds soon became the group’s name, however was changed to Hell Houndz by the record label. They liked the juxtaposition between the group’s melodic sound and soft image, and their harshness of their name.
Their first single, “Solidarity sista! Ya ya!” went quadruple platinum on the billboard charts. The girls spent the next 10 years living it up. Along the way, they adopted Kaari Sinnaeve, who with her professional experience on the triangle brought an extra element to the group. The trio spent most of their time touring all over the world, having sold out show after sold out show. In the middle of their 2nd world tour, the girls dropped their previous management, and contracted Heather Peterson as their new, full time management. With Heather, the girls made their most memorable album, “NaCl: Salt” that put them at the top of the 100 most influential albums of all time. It was from that album tour that the girls got their trademark performance style: dancing in the most static of manners on stage in onsie bodysuits.
Currently, the girls are working on their 16th album, and entire disc dedicated to MC Hammer cover songs.