Core Dump
I've mentioned before, in more rambly whiny posts that a lot of the skills I have (and I'm sure other people are like this too) are self-made or self-taught.
Just to indulge myself a bit I'll make a non-exhaustive list of things I've taught myself and things other people have taught me.
Myself:
Drums
guitar (bass)
DJing
photography
computers
most software
driving stick
woodworking
tinkering
cooking*
Other people
Riding motorcycles
graphic design**
baking
reading music***
(*- I was given some basics and watched a lot of TV cooking shows. I'm not brilliant but I don't generally over or undercook the food and it's mostly edible. **- Yes I went to school for design, and I did learn a lot about color theory and some of the more hotly contested "rules" of good design, but most of those are en vogue to break these days anyway, so what good was it really? Besides, they spent most of the time after my first couple of semesters teaching the computers which I already knew that I didn't get much in the way of Design Education. I had to pick that up when nobody was looking.
***- again, reading music was one of those compulsory things you had to do to stay in the various school bands. I was never very good at sight-reading but if I can hear the piece played a couple times I can plunk through it using the music as a guide, and then fill in what I don't know.)
So there you go, non-comprehensive as it is, those are a few things on both sides of the fence. On one hand I really value the things I've taught myself how to do, it's nice to feel that sense of accomplishment when you know you did it all by yourself. On the other hand I always wonder if people who take classes or get tutors or teachers for some of this stuff get more out of it. Like, am I missing something important, some basic building block that I skipped over while plunking around that will come back later and bite me in the butt?
For instance, playing guitar. I just picked it up and started messing with it until I could play "smoke on the water" and not have the cops called on me. I never took the time to learn modes or scales till way later, and I only know a few. I learned chords as a function of learning a new song. It was a side benefit that I was able to add them to my mental library of musical knowledge. I don't know how many other people learn like this, but it seems to be a pervasive element in how I best absorb information. My worry is that, as I stated above, I'll skip some crucial detail that will become important later. Like, I can't really play a competent solo because I never learned the scales, and now going back and plunking them out just to learn them deflates the whole instrument for me.
Same with drums. I went from "yeah I like banging on this cardboard box" to "Oh I play bass drum in the marching band" to "I'm a set drummer in jazz and pit band, and I play quads in marching band too" And now I play snare in a scottish pipe and drum band. I had sort of an aptitude for playing drums, and my intuitive learning style lent itself well to improvisational types of music like rock and jazz. However, I never was given exposure as most kids my age were to rudiments and stylistic things that would really help me now that I'm playing very structured type music. It's like, yes I can play the lick, I can make my sticks do those things, but it won't sound as good as it should because things like my roll technique sucks, because I was never actually "taught" how to do that. I just kind of figured it out.
I want to blame my parents, as I'm sure a lot of people do for a lot of things. I recall other kids getting lessons, and I see all the time kids being carted off to this practice or that practice or that lesson or this game or recital. It's like Wow, I wish someone cared enough about me as a kid to want to nurture my talents. I just got in trouble all the time for taking everything in my hands apart or banging too loud on the table at dinner. If I had kids of my own who showed those kinds of traits, I'd be teaching them to build and play and explore in a way that they'll pick things up on their own and have help if they have a question or need to get to that next level. If my kid liked taking things apart, I'd take him to the junk yard or the surplus store and get some old electronics or car parts and let him take those apart, or get one of those electronics kits from Radio Shaft so they could learn to make circuits and solder and stuff. I never got any of that, so when I go with Joe to hockey games and these little kids are skating better than most adults I get jealous.
Yes I do mean jealous and not envious. It burns me and I get angry, because I think "where would I have ended up if I had that kind of support?" My mom used to always tell me that being a musician wasn't a good career choice. Like a dumbass I believed her. She didn't know anything about going to school as a music major, becoming a music teacher, or a composer, or even a studio musician. Things that, had I actually taken lessons at a young age instead of having to figure things out on my own, I may have had a chance at pursuing.
Ok, now I'm done ranting and raving. I don't know, maybe I feel better about it now maybe I don't.
I'm thinking that I want to bolster my career somehow. I've been thinking of finding a way to get some web design knowledge crammed into my skull. I'm not sure if the best way to go about that is to just buy a book or 4 on things like HTML, CSS, Java, etc, or actually sign up for and take a class on it. Given that I'm much more of a "learn by doing" person, I don't know if the classroom would do for me really what I want, or what I'd consider to be value for my money. OTOH, if I just read a book and follow it, even a well-written tome of wisdom in the ways of the web, I might be missing something that could prove to be a problem later down the line. I guess, in a way that's what's kept me from striking out on my own. That fear that I didn't learn everything I need to know in order to be prepared for an infinite array of potential challenges. That's what's keeping me from doing a lot of things. That feeling of infinite possibility is paralysing.
Just to indulge myself a bit I'll make a non-exhaustive list of things I've taught myself and things other people have taught me.
Myself:
Drums
guitar (bass)
DJing
photography
computers
most software
driving stick
woodworking
tinkering
cooking*
Other people
Riding motorcycles
graphic design**
baking
reading music***
(*- I was given some basics and watched a lot of TV cooking shows. I'm not brilliant but I don't generally over or undercook the food and it's mostly edible. **- Yes I went to school for design, and I did learn a lot about color theory and some of the more hotly contested "rules" of good design, but most of those are en vogue to break these days anyway, so what good was it really? Besides, they spent most of the time after my first couple of semesters teaching the computers which I already knew that I didn't get much in the way of Design Education. I had to pick that up when nobody was looking.
***- again, reading music was one of those compulsory things you had to do to stay in the various school bands. I was never very good at sight-reading but if I can hear the piece played a couple times I can plunk through it using the music as a guide, and then fill in what I don't know.)
So there you go, non-comprehensive as it is, those are a few things on both sides of the fence. On one hand I really value the things I've taught myself how to do, it's nice to feel that sense of accomplishment when you know you did it all by yourself. On the other hand I always wonder if people who take classes or get tutors or teachers for some of this stuff get more out of it. Like, am I missing something important, some basic building block that I skipped over while plunking around that will come back later and bite me in the butt?
For instance, playing guitar. I just picked it up and started messing with it until I could play "smoke on the water" and not have the cops called on me. I never took the time to learn modes or scales till way later, and I only know a few. I learned chords as a function of learning a new song. It was a side benefit that I was able to add them to my mental library of musical knowledge. I don't know how many other people learn like this, but it seems to be a pervasive element in how I best absorb information. My worry is that, as I stated above, I'll skip some crucial detail that will become important later. Like, I can't really play a competent solo because I never learned the scales, and now going back and plunking them out just to learn them deflates the whole instrument for me.
Same with drums. I went from "yeah I like banging on this cardboard box" to "Oh I play bass drum in the marching band" to "I'm a set drummer in jazz and pit band, and I play quads in marching band too" And now I play snare in a scottish pipe and drum band. I had sort of an aptitude for playing drums, and my intuitive learning style lent itself well to improvisational types of music like rock and jazz. However, I never was given exposure as most kids my age were to rudiments and stylistic things that would really help me now that I'm playing very structured type music. It's like, yes I can play the lick, I can make my sticks do those things, but it won't sound as good as it should because things like my roll technique sucks, because I was never actually "taught" how to do that. I just kind of figured it out.
I want to blame my parents, as I'm sure a lot of people do for a lot of things. I recall other kids getting lessons, and I see all the time kids being carted off to this practice or that practice or that lesson or this game or recital. It's like Wow, I wish someone cared enough about me as a kid to want to nurture my talents. I just got in trouble all the time for taking everything in my hands apart or banging too loud on the table at dinner. If I had kids of my own who showed those kinds of traits, I'd be teaching them to build and play and explore in a way that they'll pick things up on their own and have help if they have a question or need to get to that next level. If my kid liked taking things apart, I'd take him to the junk yard or the surplus store and get some old electronics or car parts and let him take those apart, or get one of those electronics kits from Radio Shaft so they could learn to make circuits and solder and stuff. I never got any of that, so when I go with Joe to hockey games and these little kids are skating better than most adults I get jealous.
Yes I do mean jealous and not envious. It burns me and I get angry, because I think "where would I have ended up if I had that kind of support?" My mom used to always tell me that being a musician wasn't a good career choice. Like a dumbass I believed her. She didn't know anything about going to school as a music major, becoming a music teacher, or a composer, or even a studio musician. Things that, had I actually taken lessons at a young age instead of having to figure things out on my own, I may have had a chance at pursuing.
Ok, now I'm done ranting and raving. I don't know, maybe I feel better about it now maybe I don't.
I'm thinking that I want to bolster my career somehow. I've been thinking of finding a way to get some web design knowledge crammed into my skull. I'm not sure if the best way to go about that is to just buy a book or 4 on things like HTML, CSS, Java, etc, or actually sign up for and take a class on it. Given that I'm much more of a "learn by doing" person, I don't know if the classroom would do for me really what I want, or what I'd consider to be value for my money. OTOH, if I just read a book and follow it, even a well-written tome of wisdom in the ways of the web, I might be missing something that could prove to be a problem later down the line. I guess, in a way that's what's kept me from striking out on my own. That fear that I didn't learn everything I need to know in order to be prepared for an infinite array of potential challenges. That's what's keeping me from doing a lot of things. That feeling of infinite possibility is paralysing.