Seeker 2x07 ‘Resurrection’ Cracky Recap
Between the mass-hysteria of Bridget tweeting that she loves Gay For Kahlan (♥), and some of the Seeker writers tweeting that they're enjoying the Cracky Recaps, and my first day back at work for 2010, and coming down with a summer cold, the last 36 hours have been a long haul (an awesome one though!).
Fortunately, ohvienna put together a wonderful entry about Bridget's tweet which does all the backstory and talking for me. Thanks so much, bb.
But now, if you'll strap yourself in and remove any nearby fluids, it's time to discuss 2x07! Oh hiatus, how I loathed you :P
*presses play*
Omg. No WPIX logo defacing the caps! Finally!
*INSERT MIDLANDS ROCKBAND (lol) SOUNDTRACK* \m/ This opening fight sequence is a thing of beauty. SEEKER PRODUCERS ARE BRINGIN’ BACK THE BIFF! Richard's on vocals. Kahlan on rhythm guitar. Cara on lead guitar. Zedd on the pink tambourine. Yeh, that's what you get for being cockblocky.
KAHLAN SOLO, BIATCHES. That, my friends, is Victory Hair!
And then Zedd's all MATRIX PUNCH! and knocks some random soldier into last week.
And then Cara's all like I LOVE FIGHTING, IT'S LIKE VERBAL SPARRING BUT WITHOUT THE WORDZ. And then she impregnates the cameraman just by looking at him.
Did I mention that this scene is FIGHTACULAR?
General Gricks (?) looks like a middle aged Draco Malfoy. And back-art lady? Imma call her Lisa. After Mona, y'know? She was painted too, I hear.
A Seeker Scenery Haiku
Pretty New Zealand
The fierce colour of your grasses
Rivals Kahlan's eyes
(Book!Kahlan that is.)
Kahan gets 2-for-1 D'Harans on Seeker Sunday!
KAHLAN: Men! You never listen!
CONFESSED DUDE: I love you!
KAHLAN: Oh get in line.
oops, bad ADR/dubbing here. But Tab's Australian accent (Aussie Aussie Aussie!) is hella obvious, which is fun.
True confession: THIS SCENE MADE ME TEAR UP. THE SLOMO. THE CAMERA PAN. THE MUTING.
See how they move the shot down through the frame? It's almost like they're being drawn down in the same way that the volume of the entire world around them is being turned down. When they stand up again, like a sound level being moved up, the sound returns! A;DKLZDKFGLADKFGLA;DFJG. There are brilliant producers and directors doing cool subtle stuff in our show. Or maybe I'm reading too much into this and am a ginormous doofhead. Whichever you prefer :) Anyways, ILU MARK BEESELY ♥
I'd like to take this opportunity to highlight Bridget's exquisite blue eyes. *ahem*
BUFFY FANS: Hay! Stop stealing my Willow/Tara scene!
CARA: Oh look, another man leads me to a brothel.
RICHARD: *eyeroll on behalf of his sex*
What's your pleasure, pumpkin?
Well, I've always wanted to be handcuffed with the pink fluff-
*interrupts in her velvetiest voice*
-Surpriiiissse. Like my new hair cut? I call it ‘Haters to the Left, Like My Hair’.
…You psychotic Barbie.
The most you've done with yourself is to expose your décolletage, dear. At least I'm moving up in the world.
Yeah, moving up in the world. And down. And up and down and up and down and up and down…
Oh can it you two.
DENNA: Pleasure, after all, is the inverse of pain. Knowledge of one makes mastery of the other so much easier.
EVERYONE: *is wondering if she's about to pull an explosive out of that feather*
AHAHA DENNA'S SEXY WALK. Cara's like ‘OH LOL, Richard are you seeing this?!’
RICHARD: I need you to bring the cavalry. Go on. Hurry.
CARA: *is secretly INCREDIBLY upset she's missing out on legit, free sexytiems*
DENNA: I know that Kahlan Amnell doesn't care for Mord'Sith.
CARA: Well she's certainly been taking care of me. Wink-wink nudge-nudge say no more!
SCENE SYNOPSIS!
Denna suggests some Kahlan role playing...
...Which makes Richard's sword emerge!
And afterwards Denna smokes a pipe :P
WHY HELLO CRAIG'S CHEST! And Denna even got dressed for the occasion! She's such a fashionista.
Whoa whoa wait a sec! This woman fights like Kahlan. But it can't be Kahan cuz she's alive, so-?
AAAH CONFESSION! ...KAHLAN????
Excuse me while I snorfle at all the tumbling ladies.
WUT?! IT'S DENNEE??? That girl has 9 lives, I swear. Well, 6 now.
Oh look, Cara's remorseful. It's written all over her face. Someone give the woman a hug. Cuz we want to! ;D
SOME SCARLET WOMAN: Mistress, it's time to rethink the ‘triangles of grass’ that idiot seamstress has sewn into the crotch of my dress.
RICHARD: Excuse me, I'm busy being tortured here.
Denna is so familiar with Richard by now that she pulls the “you suck” nose-scrunch at him.
CARA: Kahlan!! Something's wrong-my vibrators-they've both run out of batteries. Look...
KAHLAN: There's no power… NOOOOOOOOO!
AHA! It's okay, Ladies! Denna has a working spare!
PS: Way to go Denna: if you can't beat him stick your Agiel up his nose. That'll work!
BUH BUH BUUUUUM
RICHARD: You still here?
RAHL: Yes. So bored I'm signing up for LJ so I can read Gay For Kahlan. How's this for a username: velvetunderground!! (Omg get it?!)
*jaw scrapes keyboard* Sweet Mother Confessor, muscle tone! Sculpted hip-bits! SOMEONE GET KAHLAN DOWN HERE!!!
In (another) stroke of JK Rowling-esque genius, Denna horcruxifies Richard's athletic bod.
ROFLCOPTERZ! Outfit upgrade double-feature!
He's all *gay-vibes* in his Rahl velvet and she's like some leathery albino poodle.
RICHARD: Great formations, men. Now are you ready to dance Thriller?!!
HAHA! Mistress Denna is severely lacking in the bendy department so she is deposited on the chaise in a very strange an uncomfortable sort of pose. She is very much like an angry Barbie.
SO ENTHUSIASTIC!
Cara and Kahlan have progressed to sharing weapons. INTIMATE.
WOW. Isn't this a tent full of Unresolved Sexual Tension!
Kahlan wants Richard, Denna wants not!Richard and probably a bit of Cara and Kahlan too, Cara wants Kahlan and definitely Richard's body… Love rectangle rhombus! Edit: Because hjea's suggestion is so much better!!
Anyone else think this was partially an apology to Kahlan as well?
Whatever it was, Kahlan thinks it's hot.
Richard sees Kahlan holding his sword and is powerless to resist her badassery.
Richard tries to barter for 15 minutes alone with Kahlan, but Zedd's feeling cockblocky and says no. WE WILL GET YOU ONE DAY ZEDD! *shakes fist*
Uh oh. UH OH. Look out! Richard has a child!
Here you go, Dennee…
No wait, I change my mind, I want him back.
*RUNS*
And then Denna has an inner monologue moment to herself:
‘I'll be back for you, Richard Rahl. And next time I'll be in PINK FOR PAYBACK.’
Next week, on Legend of the Seeker: Kahlan's new ninja wardrobe!
ADFLGALDF;HKAL;DFKLHJL[ADFKHA;DFKJHLG;AJ
Browse the Legend of the Seeker
Cracky Recaps archive HERE
Fortunately, ohvienna put together a wonderful entry about Bridget's tweet which does all the backstory and talking for me. Thanks so much, bb.
But now, if you'll strap yourself in and remove any nearby fluids, it's time to discuss 2x07! Oh hiatus, how I loathed you :P
*presses play*
Omg. No WPIX logo defacing the caps! Finally!
*INSERT MIDLANDS ROCKBAND (lol) SOUNDTRACK* \m/ This opening fight sequence is a thing of beauty. SEEKER PRODUCERS ARE BRINGIN’ BACK THE BIFF! Richard's on vocals. Kahlan on rhythm guitar. Cara on lead guitar. Zedd on the pink tambourine. Yeh, that's what you get for being cockblocky.
KAHLAN SOLO, BIATCHES. That, my friends, is Victory Hair!
And then Zedd's all MATRIX PUNCH! and knocks some random soldier into last week.
And then Cara's all like I LOVE FIGHTING, IT'S LIKE VERBAL SPARRING BUT WITHOUT THE WORDZ. And then she impregnates the cameraman just by looking at him.
Did I mention that this scene is FIGHTACULAR?
General Gricks (?) looks like a middle aged Draco Malfoy. And back-art lady? Imma call her Lisa. After Mona, y'know? She was painted too, I hear.
A Seeker Scenery Haiku
Pretty New Zealand
The fierce colour of your grasses
Rivals Kahlan's eyes
(Book!Kahlan that is.)
Kahan gets 2-for-1 D'Harans on Seeker Sunday!
KAHLAN: Men! You never listen!
CONFESSED DUDE: I love you!
KAHLAN: Oh get in line.
oops, bad ADR/dubbing here. But Tab's Australian accent (Aussie Aussie Aussie!) is hella obvious, which is fun.
True confession: THIS SCENE MADE ME TEAR UP. THE SLOMO. THE CAMERA PAN. THE MUTING.
See how they move the shot down through the frame? It's almost like they're being drawn down in the same way that the volume of the entire world around them is being turned down. When they stand up again, like a sound level being moved up, the sound returns! A;DKLZDKFGLADKFGLA;DFJG. There are brilliant producers and directors doing cool subtle stuff in our show. Or maybe I'm reading too much into this and am a ginormous doofhead. Whichever you prefer :) Anyways, ILU MARK BEESELY ♥
I'd like to take this opportunity to highlight Bridget's exquisite blue eyes. *ahem*
BUFFY FANS: Hay! Stop stealing my Willow/Tara scene!
CARA: Oh look, another man leads me to a brothel.
RICHARD: *eyeroll on behalf of his sex*
What's your pleasure, pumpkin?
Well, I've always wanted to be handcuffed with the pink fluff-
*interrupts in her velvetiest voice*
-Surpriiiissse. Like my new hair cut? I call it ‘Haters to the Left, Like My Hair’.
…You psychotic Barbie.
The most you've done with yourself is to expose your décolletage, dear. At least I'm moving up in the world.
Yeah, moving up in the world. And down. And up and down and up and down and up and down…
Oh can it you two.
DENNA: Pleasure, after all, is the inverse of pain. Knowledge of one makes mastery of the other so much easier.
EVERYONE: *is wondering if she's about to pull an explosive out of that feather*
AHAHA DENNA'S SEXY WALK. Cara's like ‘OH LOL, Richard are you seeing this?!’
RICHARD: I need you to bring the cavalry. Go on. Hurry.
CARA: *is secretly INCREDIBLY upset she's missing out on legit, free sexytiems*
DENNA: I know that Kahlan Amnell doesn't care for Mord'Sith.
CARA: Well she's certainly been taking care of me. Wink-wink nudge-nudge say no more!
SCENE SYNOPSIS!
Denna suggests some Kahlan role playing...
...Which makes Richard's sword emerge!
And afterwards Denna smokes a pipe :P
WHY HELLO CRAIG'S CHEST! And Denna even got dressed for the occasion! She's such a fashionista.
Whoa whoa wait a sec! This woman fights like Kahlan. But it can't be Kahan cuz she's alive, so-?
AAAH CONFESSION! ...KAHLAN????
Excuse me while I snorfle at all the tumbling ladies.
WUT?! IT'S DENNEE??? That girl has 9 lives, I swear. Well, 6 now.
Oh look, Cara's remorseful. It's written all over her face. Someone give the woman a hug. Cuz we want to! ;D
SOME SCARLET WOMAN: Mistress, it's time to rethink the ‘triangles of grass’ that idiot seamstress has sewn into the crotch of my dress.
RICHARD: Excuse me, I'm busy being tortured here.
Denna is so familiar with Richard by now that she pulls the “you suck” nose-scrunch at him.
CARA: Kahlan!! Something's wrong-my vibrators-they've both run out of batteries. Look...
KAHLAN: There's no power… NOOOOOOOOO!
AHA! It's okay, Ladies! Denna has a working spare!
PS: Way to go Denna: if you can't beat him stick your Agiel up his nose. That'll work!
BUH BUH BUUUUUM
RICHARD: You still here?
RAHL: Yes. So bored I'm signing up for LJ so I can read Gay For Kahlan. How's this for a username: velvetunderground!! (Omg get it?!)
*jaw scrapes keyboard* Sweet Mother Confessor, muscle tone! Sculpted hip-bits! SOMEONE GET KAHLAN DOWN HERE!!!
In (another) stroke of JK Rowling-esque genius, Denna horcruxifies Richard's athletic bod.
ROFLCOPTERZ! Outfit upgrade double-feature!
He's all *gay-vibes* in his Rahl velvet and she's like some leathery albino poodle.
RICHARD: Great formations, men. Now are you ready to dance Thriller?!!
HAHA! Mistress Denna is severely lacking in the bendy department so she is deposited on the chaise in a very strange an uncomfortable sort of pose. She is very much like an angry Barbie.
SO ENTHUSIASTIC!
Cara and Kahlan have progressed to sharing weapons. INTIMATE.
WOW. Isn't this a tent full of Unresolved Sexual Tension!
Kahlan wants Richard, Denna wants not!Richard and probably a bit of Cara and Kahlan too, Cara wants Kahlan and definitely Richard's body… Love rectangle rhombus! Edit: Because hjea's suggestion is so much better!!
Anyone else think this was partially an apology to Kahlan as well?
Whatever it was, Kahlan thinks it's hot.
Richard sees Kahlan holding his sword and is powerless to resist her badassery.
Richard tries to barter for 15 minutes alone with Kahlan, but Zedd's feeling cockblocky and says no. WE WILL GET YOU ONE DAY ZEDD! *shakes fist*
Uh oh. UH OH. Look out! Richard has a child!
Here you go, Dennee…
No wait, I change my mind, I want him back.
*RUNS*
And then Denna has an inner monologue moment to herself:
‘I'll be back for you, Richard Rahl. And next time I'll be in PINK FOR PAYBACK.’
Next week, on Legend of the Seeker: Kahlan's new ninja wardrobe!
Click to view
ADFLGALDF;HKAL;DFKLHJL[ADFKHA;DFKJHLG;AJ
Browse the Legend of the Seeker
Cracky Recaps archive HERE