i feel like total crappppp!
the concert went well except for the maturity level of a lot of the kids. but hey, all i could do is warn them to shup up, and i did multiple times.
the thing thats stressing me out is max. i havent talked to him in almost 2 years.
until tonight.
he came up to me and was like "hey deirdre?" and i turn to him like "what?" cause i didnt realize who it was. and my heart dropped into my big toe and my ears spontaniously combusted up in flames. he said "good job tonight" and i was like "yeah thanks" and like ran away. and the later a friend forced me to say goodbye to him.
THE MOST TORTURE I HAVE EVER ENDURED IN MY LIFE.
he just makes me so nervous, and angry, and upset, and 298487489234532143 other things that make me wanna go home and crawl into a corner to straighten out my thoughts. i cant stand it. im afraid of what could happen, or what people will think will happen, if i started talking to him again. never have i told anyone this, but i still liked him when i broke up with him. thus the reason why i avoided him. it took me the longest time to get over him. and who can blame me? before the transformation into a jerk he was the sweetest guy i had ever met, and my first boyfriend. and everytime i see him, my mind doesnt know what to do with itself. because my way of getting over people is avoiding them. i know its terrible. but right now i have no coping method besides that. its one of those things i am working on. i dont know what to do with myself. good thing is, pops is over, so it'll be a while before i have to see him again.
its 11:15, so im going to sleep. night all. someone help me with my mental disorders?
<3 Deege
the thing thats stressing me out is max. i havent talked to him in almost 2 years.
until tonight.
he came up to me and was like "hey deirdre?" and i turn to him like "what?" cause i didnt realize who it was. and my heart dropped into my big toe and my ears spontaniously combusted up in flames. he said "good job tonight" and i was like "yeah thanks" and like ran away. and the later a friend forced me to say goodbye to him.
THE MOST TORTURE I HAVE EVER ENDURED IN MY LIFE.
he just makes me so nervous, and angry, and upset, and 298487489234532143 other things that make me wanna go home and crawl into a corner to straighten out my thoughts. i cant stand it. im afraid of what could happen, or what people will think will happen, if i started talking to him again. never have i told anyone this, but i still liked him when i broke up with him. thus the reason why i avoided him. it took me the longest time to get over him. and who can blame me? before the transformation into a jerk he was the sweetest guy i had ever met, and my first boyfriend. and everytime i see him, my mind doesnt know what to do with itself. because my way of getting over people is avoiding them. i know its terrible. but right now i have no coping method besides that. its one of those things i am working on. i dont know what to do with myself. good thing is, pops is over, so it'll be a while before i have to see him again.
its 11:15, so im going to sleep. night all. someone help me with my mental disorders?
<3 Deege