Black. Again.

Jan 08, 2010 12:09

So there's this bra thing going around on facebook. I find it hilarious and fascinating.

1. mrs_redboots was the first of my friends (I think) to post a colour, and the message I got telling me about the idea used the British spelling, so I wonder if it started in the UK and then spread throughout the US the next day. If so, I wonder how much geography the game covered and what areas of the world would and wouldn't find this sort of thing appropriate.

2. The message I got inviting me to participate indicated that the idea was solely for the fun of being silly and teasing men. It suggested that we comment on each others' color posts in order to make the game a bit more tantalizing/infuriating for the men in our lists. Later in the day, however, someone had apparently assigned the game to a cause: breast cancer awareness. Now, I have no problem with the cause 'Breast Cancer Awareness," but is it necessary for every bit of fun to have something meaningful behind it? In an unexpected twist, it is my YOUNGER friends who couldn't participate just for the humor of it but who required that a value be placed on the activity. I do understand that they might not have quite the grasp on why it is fun to tease men in this manner, but it's interesting nonetheless.

3. Most of the women in my f-list who participated were perfectly willing to keep their reasons for posting a color secret. Many were good at making interesting but secretive comments. Near the end of the day, once it spread to my younger friends, the secret was clearly out, and they were terrible at keeping it anyway. Is subtlety a learned skill? Because I kind of thought women were born manipulators. Am I wrong, or is it simply a skill we hone with time and experience?

4. Women of all ages and interests in my f-list participated.

5. The few men who had something to say about it were interesting. They had one of several reactions. The most common by far was to try to one-up the ladies by posting an outrageous color. (The first man in my list to do so used puce; later I got fluorescent beige and baby blue with white lace.) I appreciate why they might think this is funny, but it reeks of overcompensating because they (well, most of them) couldn't legitimately participate. Posting a simple color would be far funnier, but none of my male friends did this. I made a comment at the time that it is evidence that subtlety doesn't come as naturally to men as it does to women. As the 'weaker' sex, we're well versed in getting what we want in less obvious ways; in the same way that women have trouble asking for raises directly, perhaps men have trouble quietly making noise.

Another reaction was to ask what was going on directly (kudos to sambosmile). One of his friends answered him honestly, and then he deleted the comment so as not to spoil the fun for everyone else. He seemed to enjoy being 'in the know' but saw no reason to try to take over the fun. What? Direct communication works well for everyone?

A third response was merely to express annoyance. Yeah, yeah, yeah, your joke is just old now. It was never funny, really. To this I say (like Madeline to the tigers in the zoo) Pooh Pooh. These men didn't feel the need to takeover the fun; instead they denied that it was fun in the first place. That's just not true. I bet they thought it was fun before they knew what was going on.

I do understand that everyone's definition of 'fun' is different and that there are those among us who don't find this funny at all, but given the wide variety of women who participated (not only with their own status but commenting on others'), I'd say there's a general cultural consensus that this is funny.

What do you think?
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