"This is weird."
That is what Joel said as he walked away from my car Sunday afternoon. That is what all three of us were feeling. Weird. Weird that Joel wouldn't be a few miles away; that he wouldn't come over at anytime; that we wouldn't see him almost every day. Now we won't see him even every week. We all walked around that day seeming to ignore the inevitable, just a few random leans, hugs, and looks. I know some of you are wondering, "What's the big deal? He's only 5 hours away!" I know it is hard to understand why I am sad about Joel's departure. He is a part of us, Adam and me. More a part of Adam, but me as well. He and Adam have been almost inseparable since they were just kids. He came with Adam when we were married, it was a package deal...now the package is a bit empty. Our daily world will be a bit lonelier for a little while. I will miss his hugs, his support, his sass, his smile, and yes, even his moods. They are all Joel...I will miss all of him. I know, I know...I will see him again. "Stop being melodramatic, Deanne!" It is just bittersweet. I know he needs to be there, I know he will be happy, I know this is good for him, I know he and Janna need this, but I also know that it is strange that he is not here.
I will be content to know that he is only a phone call away, that he is in my prayers and thoughts, and that he is doing what he is supposed to do. I trust that God will protect him and guide him. But, when it is all said and done....it is just weird.
I will be content to know that he is only a phone call away, that he is in my prayers and thoughts, and that he is doing what he is supposed to do. I trust that God will protect him and guide him. But, when it is all said and done....it is just weird.