The Story DJ Couldn't Think of a Title For. [[Oneshot]]
Title: The Story DJ Couldn't Think of a Title For. [[Oneshot]]
Author: dee_jaydj
Rating: R for language
Pairing: Zack Merrick/Jack Barakat
POV: Third (Jack-centric)
Summary: Jack Barakat had never, ever, ever been caught crying. Not once in his entire life. Well, besides when he was a baby, because almost every baby cried. But when he got older, he got very good at hiding when he was upset and mastered getting away in time to keep anyone from seeing his tears. Not even Alex has seen him cry, and they’d been best friends since they were hardly old enough to walk.
Disclaimer: I do not own All Time Low, nor do I know/own any of it's members.
Beta: alifeofourown
Author Notes:: Uhh.... Well.... yeah. I think this is my first Merrikat, and it made me smiley. uhm... yeah. XD I don't really have any fics lined up at the moment, except for a little drabble. But if you have a request or idea, message me or comment on here, we'll get in touch. =D
Jack Barakat had never, ever, ever been caught crying. Not once in his entire life. Well, besides when he was a baby, because almost every baby cried. But when he got older, he got very good at hiding when he was upset and mastered getting away in time to keep anyone from seeing his tears. Not even Alex has seen him cry, and they’d been best friends since they were hardly old enough to walk.
So when Jack heard the quiet knock on his bedroom door, it was a little hard to believe at first. He cleared his throat a little, wiping fervently at his eyes and tear-stained cheeks, a blush already forming. “Uh… Come in?” he called out weakly, tugging a little at the fringe of his hair to see if it would do him the favor of covering more of his face.
The door creaked a little when it opened, and Zack poked his head in, a concerned look on his face. “Jack, you okay?” he asked, sounding somewhat surprised. Jack sniffed a little, cursing the sound, before nodding. Zack arched an eyebrow at him, clearly skeptical. “Uh-huh. Sure. What’s wrong?” he asked, though the disbelieving tone was still soft and imploring. If he wasn’t so pissed that he’s gotten caught, Jack would actually think the concern was nice.
“No, I’m fucking f-fine,” Jack spat, standing up quickly, head tipped down and eyes still threatening to spill over once more. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see a hurt look on Zack’s face, and it possibly made him feel a bit guilty for being so harsh, but this wasn’t the best time for him to begin with.
See, the only reason he was crying at all was probably the stupidest reason. He’d been thinking about this stupid nightmare he’d been having for the past few months. All it was was him, alone, looking at a wall full of photographs. After a while into the dream, it dawns on him that he’s been staring at pictures of dead people. Dead people he knew. And every night, he tried to look away at those dead people, their sad eyes that seemed to be saying ‘why couldn’t you help us?’ and he just couldn’t. And very recently, Rian had gotten into a stupid accident, something about trying to jump a fence and missing, spraining his ankle, but Jesus fuck if it didn’t fucking terrify him. And over-thinking it, like he was prone to, sitting in the living room, staring at the injury…. He just started crying.
And apparently Zack noticed.
“You know, you’re a terrible liar. Can’t you just tell me, please?” Zack pleaded softly, stepping into the room slowly. Jack hesitated, torn. He could be a total jerk and just kick Zack out, or he could stay silent.
His body, on the other hand, seemed to be slamming him with a nice, mortifying third option.
He let out a weak, uncontrolled noise, falling down onto the floor in a slump, heavy on his knees. Zack didn’t waste more than a moment’s startled hesitation before he was crossing the room, dropping down next to Jack and pulling him into his arms. “God, what’s wrong? Jack, tell me, please?” Zack begged, utterly stunned by Jack’s tears. Jack was quiet, trying to hold back any more embarrassing sobs, leaning heavily against the other. Zack tightened his hold on Jack a little, biting his lip. “…please?” he asked in a tiny voice.
Jack sighed a little, defeated. “It’s stupid,” he groaned, turning his head into Zack’s shoulder. He could tell Zack was about to protest, but he continued before he had a chance. “I’ve been having this stupid dream for the past few months… Scares the shit out of me…” he finished weakly, closing his eyes against the flow of tears. Zack’s hand moved a little bit, gently petting his hair.
“You wanna tell me about it?” he murmured, and Jack would tell Zack was watching him cautiously. Jack shook h is head a little, shuddering. Something in the back of his head tried to tell him that this wasn’t real, that this was just another dream, and he was going to lose Zack just like any other stupid fucking dream. And he wanted to prove himself wrong, he really did. But it was proving to be so goddamn hard.
Slowly, Jack turned his wide eyes on Zack, chewing on his lower lip a little. "Zack..." he murmured, blushing a little. "C... can you... can you kiss me?" he asked nervously, and he didn't even know what the hell possessed him to ask that, but maybe if Zack said no, it'd be more like real life.
Because neither of them were gay.
Obviously.
Zack gasped a little at Jack, blinking slowly. "I... really...?" he asked, sounding a little appalled. Jack hesitated, before nodding a little. Zack sighed a little, before the hand in Jack's hair slipped forward slowly, gently caressing his cheek. His thumb carefully brushed a tear of his skin. Jack could feel the blush persisting, eyes going a bit wider as Zack looked down at him. Was he seriously going to do this...?
With another heavy moment of hesitation, Zack took in a slightly shaky breath, a nervous look flashing across his face, before he leaned in the short distance between them, just barely touching his lips to Jack's. He held in place for a moment, and Jack couldn't even breathe anymore. The brunette let out a slightly distressed noise, feeling something snap inside him, leaning into Zack and pressing his lips firmly to his. He didn't know why he suddenly wanted Zack this close, this badly. It was weird, and different, and scary as fuck, but the only thing that mattered to him anymore was that Zack was kissing back and he didn't seem to mind at all.
Jack's arms wound tightly around Zack's neck, pulling himself as close as he possibly could. His eyes fluttered shut, mewling quietly as Zack's hands moved around his body, holding him just as close as jack wanted him to. He needed this. He had to be completely, utterly sure that Zack was really there, that this was real, he just... needed it.
One of Jack's hands slipped up to thread through Zack's hair, tightening a little in the silken strands. Zack grunted a little, and Jack figured that hurt him some, but fuck if he cared. He almost completely forgot they were still on the floor. The only thing that mattered, the only thing that existed, was them, and he was numb to everything else. After a while, Zack was the first to pull away, face slightly flushed and breathless. He didn't move very far away from Jack, reluctant to tear his eyes away from the brunette for damn near anything. Jack was shaking, honestly. He never thought about kissing another guy, forget kissing Zack. But, as weird as this seriously was, it felt... inherently right.
"I... I don't want you to stop," Jack whispered, eyes wide and Jesus, why did why did he feel like crying again. He really didn't want to let Zack go, he wanted to be as close as possible. It fucking terrified him, yeah, but he wasn't going to question that... need until later.
Zack bit his lip a little, looking nervous. "And I really, really don't want to stop but... i just..." He hesitated, eyes dropping down away from Jack's face. "I've wanted to... to be with you like this for a long time, but.... are you sure you want to?" he asked, his voice barely above an audible whisper. Jack froze a little, breathe stuttering slightly. This was... oh god... what was he supposed to do? Not that he'd ever admit it to anyone, but... he was still a virgin. Sure, he talked big shit, and he'd definitely made out with more than a few girls in his life. He'd even gone to second base with one last year. But he'd never actually fucked any of them. And he wouldn't know the first damn thing about having sex with a guy.
"Just go slow," he responded meekly, and he heard Zack take in a sharp breath. He obviously hadn't been expecting that.
"I can do that," he breathed out, looking up at Jack a little. He could see fear in Zack's eyes, and he understood why. Their friendship was riding on this. What if something went wrong...? How could they stay friends?
Jack took a chance and leaned in a little, kissing Zack again, gentle and cautious. There was still that desire, the need to push more and more into that kiss, but he really couldn't because he was so nervous. Zack was too, he could tell.
Slowly, Zack pulled away, gently taking Jack's hand and tugging him to his feet. "I'm not doing this on the floor," he mumbled, pulling Jack to the bed. Jack nodded a little, feeling his head hammering in his chest furiously as he sat down at the edge of his bed. He shifted back so he was a little more comfortable, and Zack followed suit, though he crawled much closer than Jack had expected. He smiled weakly at the brunette, carding a hand through his hair.
"Just relax, okay?" he murmured softly, and just hearing it was actually kind of affective. He sighed quietly, before letting out a slightly surprised noise as Zack's lips once more connected with his own. And, somewhere in the back of his head, Jack wondered why he was so okay with kissing another guy, why Zack was so calm. Why hadn't he realized before that one of his best friends was... gay, or whatever?
And that's about when Jack decided he was thinking way too much, and decided to just go with it.
The heat, the fire, it was still there, absolutely, but the soft way Zack was kissing him calmed him beyond belief, making it easy to lean back against his bed when Zack crawled over him, his own arms wrapping securely around the other's neck. He was extremely comfortable, just laying there, kissing him like that. Zack's hands were warm against his hips, where they were resting, but before long, they crept up under the hem of his shirt, pressing stupidly warm fingers against his bare skin. Jack whimpered a little, before freezing slightly as he heard Zack chuckle a little. He pulled away a tiny amount, looking at the other seventeen-year-old.
"Don't f'ckin' laugh at me..." he mumbled, which only seemed to amuse Zack more. One of his hands brushed against Jack's cheek, a smile playing across his lips.
"I can't help it," he said lightly, sighing. "You're so fucking adorable, Jack."
Jack wondered why that made him feel so warm all of a sudden, and he almost might have started crying again if Zack hadn't leaned in and pressed their lips together again, making Jack's mind go a little fuzzy. Before he knew it, Zack's shirt was gone, his own hands passing over the faint, almost wiry muscles there, and his own clothes were mostly gone anyway. But somehow, the whole time, Zack kept it slow, and if he hadn't known better, he'd say loving.
Because, gay or not, Zack was still his friend.
All of a sudden, Jack was nervous again, feeling Zack's hands sliding over his stomach, lower, skimming over the hem of his boxers. Zack's breathing was sped up, and Jack could almost swear his hands were shaking.
"Are you sure you want to do this, Jack?" he asked slowly, and Jack almost smiled. His voice held that all-too-familiar strain that it always did when Zack was trying to keep calm. The familiarity of it, the feeling of knowing Zack was definitely the Zack he knew and loves, he was there, this was real... well, it made him answer without even thinking.
"Of course."
Another welcome, familiar expression crossed Zack's face, a grin that made Jack almost feel lightheaded, and they both went back into it, Zack's hands, now more steady, sure.
And Jack maybe lost himself, lost track of time. Nothing else mattered but him and Zack.
~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~:~
"Put the stop watch away, I think they're coming down," Alex's voice said in a hurry, causing a slight frown to cross Jack's lips. He could hear Rian speaking as well, but it sounded like he was angry at something.
Jack and Zack stepped off the last step, turning into the living room and looking curiously at Alex and Rian. Rian had an ace bandage wrapped around his left ankle, the result of his stupid accident, with ice pressed against it. For the first time since it happened, seeing the injury didn't send dread running through Jack. Especially not with Zack's hand pressed against his lower back slightly, where his shirt was still sticking to his sweat-soaked skin.
As he watched them with a skeptical eye, Jack saw a twenty pass from Rian's hand to Alex's. His eyes went a little wide.
"Were you two fucking betting on this?" he choked out, sounding appalled.
Alex snickered a little, folding the twenty dollar bill down the middle and shoving it in his pocket. "Maybe," he hummed, flashing the two standing in the doorway a cheeky grin. "Can you really blame us? I mean, with the way Zack looks at you-" cue a faint blush on Zack's cheeks, "-it's a wonder this hasn't happened yet. At least I stuck up for you, Jack. Rian didn't think you would last more than a minute."
Jack's jaw dropped, staring at his injured friend, before he threw a pillow sitting on the couch at him in favor of just jumping on him. "You're a dick!" he whined, before unexpectedly dropping down into Zack's lap, only just then realizing that he'd already sat down.
With Zack's arm wrapped around his waist, the rest of the conversation fell into a dull buzz, and Jack hardly heard Rian and Alex arguing over who really won the bet, Zack's low voice throwing in his opinion every now at then.
He was happy exactly where he was.
He really didn't think he'd be having any more nightmares.