(no subject)
So i begin exams tomorrow. Not so worried about bio tomorrow. Its calc and psych i am terrified of. Psych is so depressing. I re-read the chapter on attraction...love... altruism...emotion... haha my most favourite chapter, yet the content is quite depressing.
It has been a very upsetting, unproductive and uncomfortable week. I am forced to use public transit but i barely go out to even complain about public transit. All this home time and i still manage to leave a lot of the studying until the end of the week. there are times when i can sit for hours reading the material, but usually these sitting periods are comprised of only a few hours. then i get restless and my mind wanders. and even more so, i get distracted when i claim i deserve a break for sitting for such a long time.
For the past few days i've been experiencing some intense nagging feeling in my stomache. maybe guilt, but mostly homesickness. dont mean to confuse you, because yes, i still live at home, but i dont feel like im home. cliche as it may sound but i really feel like a stranger in my own house. despite benci's atttempts to show his love, it just bothers me more and i push him even farther. Everything is just so messed up. At this point, i would give anything up for a chance of reconciliation. In my eyes, it just doesnt seem worth it anymore, and there have been no attempts in changing my opinion otherwise.
Disturbing as it may sound, but i really miss working. Last year, work was my outlet. All the minor problems i faced were forgotten everytime i stepped into the store. I just wish they paid me more.
Wanna hear about a great waste of money? Who buys a piano when no one in the family plays piano?
Anyway, my apologies to whoever reads my posts for all this complaining. I seem to find a lot to complain about these days even though i have so much to be grateful for. Its easier to just post on lj whenever i want instead of trying to compete for your friends attention and making them listen to you. That, or i bottle it up and explode on some undeserving friend.
It has been a very upsetting, unproductive and uncomfortable week. I am forced to use public transit but i barely go out to even complain about public transit. All this home time and i still manage to leave a lot of the studying until the end of the week. there are times when i can sit for hours reading the material, but usually these sitting periods are comprised of only a few hours. then i get restless and my mind wanders. and even more so, i get distracted when i claim i deserve a break for sitting for such a long time.
For the past few days i've been experiencing some intense nagging feeling in my stomache. maybe guilt, but mostly homesickness. dont mean to confuse you, because yes, i still live at home, but i dont feel like im home. cliche as it may sound but i really feel like a stranger in my own house. despite benci's atttempts to show his love, it just bothers me more and i push him even farther. Everything is just so messed up. At this point, i would give anything up for a chance of reconciliation. In my eyes, it just doesnt seem worth it anymore, and there have been no attempts in changing my opinion otherwise.
Disturbing as it may sound, but i really miss working. Last year, work was my outlet. All the minor problems i faced were forgotten everytime i stepped into the store. I just wish they paid me more.
Wanna hear about a great waste of money? Who buys a piano when no one in the family plays piano?
Anyway, my apologies to whoever reads my posts for all this complaining. I seem to find a lot to complain about these days even though i have so much to be grateful for. Its easier to just post on lj whenever i want instead of trying to compete for your friends attention and making them listen to you. That, or i bottle it up and explode on some undeserving friend.