"We Must Love One Another, And Die" - Code Name Verity - Julie/Maddie
CODE NAME VERITY FANFIC.
So I read the book. And it broke my heart. And I messaged my special girl and ordered her never to get captured by Nazis. And then I searched for fanfic. And I read it. And it broke my heart again.
...and then I thought, hey, I can do this.
Title from Auden's "September 1, 1939". His second version, the one where he made it less optimistic before getting rid of it all together. (Yes, I can remember minutiae from a lecture I heard in 2005 but not remember when to send in my rent check.)
Julie/Maddie slash (femslash?). Because, obviously.
And my eyes fall on her - oh, Maddie, my Maddie! Those memories I’ve held under lock and key come flooding back, suddenly. (The feel of her hair, liquid silk between my fingers, and her always wondering why I bothered fussing with it when I had my own hair, but it wasn’t anything like the same thing. Knowing that our two souls fit together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and figuring out our bodies could too: foreheads pressed together, my hands shaping themselves to the roundness of her shoulders and her arms around my waist, legs intertwined, sharing a narrow bed in the hours before moonlight. Dancing at Maidsend, the feeling of being drunk not on champagne but rather on kisses. Holding on tighter every time she shivered, and her voice in my ear, liquid syllables, I love you Julie, a gasp, a sigh. The sound of a single button from her pyjamas, rolling across an uncertain floor to be lost forever in darkness. A double handful of traitorous thoughts of the life that might be come war’s end.) Oh, my Maddie, mine.
She is alive.
I’m laughing, suddenly, happier than I’ve ever been in my life, hysterical, oh Maddie please. Maddie.
“KISS ME, HARDY! Kiss me, QUICK!”
I close my eyes, screw them up tight, and with my last breath, her name is on my lips. Maddie.
So I read the book. And it broke my heart. And I messaged my special girl and ordered her never to get captured by Nazis. And then I searched for fanfic. And I read it. And it broke my heart again.
...and then I thought, hey, I can do this.
Title from Auden's "September 1, 1939". His second version, the one where he made it less optimistic before getting rid of it all together. (Yes, I can remember minutiae from a lecture I heard in 2005 but not remember when to send in my rent check.)
Julie/Maddie slash (femslash?). Because, obviously.
And my eyes fall on her - oh, Maddie, my Maddie! Those memories I’ve held under lock and key come flooding back, suddenly. (The feel of her hair, liquid silk between my fingers, and her always wondering why I bothered fussing with it when I had my own hair, but it wasn’t anything like the same thing. Knowing that our two souls fit together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle and figuring out our bodies could too: foreheads pressed together, my hands shaping themselves to the roundness of her shoulders and her arms around my waist, legs intertwined, sharing a narrow bed in the hours before moonlight. Dancing at Maidsend, the feeling of being drunk not on champagne but rather on kisses. Holding on tighter every time she shivered, and her voice in my ear, liquid syllables, I love you Julie, a gasp, a sigh. The sound of a single button from her pyjamas, rolling across an uncertain floor to be lost forever in darkness. A double handful of traitorous thoughts of the life that might be come war’s end.) Oh, my Maddie, mine.
She is alive.
I’m laughing, suddenly, happier than I’ve ever been in my life, hysterical, oh Maddie please. Maddie.
“KISS ME, HARDY! Kiss me, QUICK!”
I close my eyes, screw them up tight, and with my last breath, her name is on my lips. Maddie.