(no subject)
I have this feeling that people tend to look down on me. That people tend to say among themselves "Look at Tony. Look how little he's done." I feel this way undoubtedly due to my own perspective of myself. I say to myself "Look at me. Look how little I've done." I suppose this is mostly in relation to school. I have for some time felt myself a failure; primarily in my not going directly to big boy college. And even now, that I'm at a Bachelor degree awarding college, I have the same sentiments. I'm two years behind schedule; most of my friends from high school are graduating and getting real jobs and joining the work force. I see them doing things, and I wonder what the fuck I've been doing.
And then I consider the last few years of my life. For two years now, I've been mostly financially independent. I am with a company now that if I so desired, I could tomorrow say that I wanted to move forward and become a manager and I'd start at $55K/ Year with a $150K/Year potential growth.
And then I considered that tomorrow will be my third twelve (12) hour day in a row. Four hours of overtime each day. And I when I got home today I took a massive dump. During which, I calculated about how much I'd make in my next paycheck. Almost $950. And when I saw that amount, I thought about how I could put that all in savings. That it would be half of next semester's tuition. And I thought about my own independence.
Then I reaffirmed what I'd known: I've been in the real world and the college world for two years now. I rock the shit.
And then I consider the last few years of my life. For two years now, I've been mostly financially independent. I am with a company now that if I so desired, I could tomorrow say that I wanted to move forward and become a manager and I'd start at $55K/ Year with a $150K/Year potential growth.
And then I considered that tomorrow will be my third twelve (12) hour day in a row. Four hours of overtime each day. And I when I got home today I took a massive dump. During which, I calculated about how much I'd make in my next paycheck. Almost $950. And when I saw that amount, I thought about how I could put that all in savings. That it would be half of next semester's tuition. And I thought about my own independence.
Then I reaffirmed what I'd known: I've been in the real world and the college world for two years now. I rock the shit.