(no subject)
February xx, 2011
To Kau,
Today I was struck with the sudden realization that one day I might join the multitude to be taken back to my home, without my knowing at all. And to be quite honest, the thought scares me.
If it had been the first month of my stay, I wouldn't give it a second thought. It's not that I am afraid of the conditions required to live here. It's not that I am afraid of the goddess. But as I thought of departure, I thought about you. I thought about the time we spent together, what we've shared; I thought about the man who keeps you prisoner and what he might do to you while I am not here. Even if I can do nothing to help you, I still want to be there in case something does happen. And it scares me when I think of the day I can't see you or talk to you anymore.
My world isn't perfect. I have seen cruelty and heartlessness many times while I was there, and I was once willing to hurt others in order to make my dream a reality. I wanted a world where my friends would be free of abuse, where they and humans would be separated so I would no longer have to bear the sight of them being hurt for humans' gain. And I confess, Kau, that when I first met you I had that same feeling: that you were one of my friends back in my world.
Perhaps it was one of the reasons why you are so precious to me, but still I know you are not just a simple creature. I never dreamed to find someone like you in this place, and I can say with confidence that you make my life here much more meaningful than it would be had I never met you.
I might never find out what exactly my affections for you are, but I don't think it matters. You are just as important to me as my friends back in my home, and if it was possible, I would bring you along with me back there so that man cannot hurt you anymore. I think you would like it. There are days of sunshine where one can lie on the meadow grass while surrounded by one's friends. I would take you on Reshiram's back, flying over mountains until we can smell the salt from the sea. But alas, I can only dream.
It is not my wish to ever leave you alone, but it is not in my power to decide. Should I leave, please be careful and take care of yourself. I do not wish for you to hurt more than you already have. I will miss you.
Love,
-N.