Because the world owes me nothing, and we owe eachother the world...
It seems I've kind of grown out of this thing. Either that or I'm getting more distant. The more I think about it, the less I want people to know what I'm thinking. Not because I'm private, I just don't... think it's important. It's a little unrealistic anyhow.
Well. It has probably been the most eventful week or so, since summer. A lot of good things happened, and a lot of bad things emerged in the process. Float was really nice, even just working my ass off for it everyday. I had some awesome times with some of the people who were there. Its funny, because I was thinking about it... I didn't really feel one way or another when we won. I mean, I'm glad we won it was definately deserved. But I definately felt happier working on it, than when we won.
In a sick-with-nostalgia-sort-of-night, last night I hung out with Chris Farley. It was nice, to be with him again. In an odd sort of way, two years meant nothing. I was not shocked to see him. And he walked me home, and I said "be good", and that was it. I will see him in a month. And the other boy of my distant reflection (distant enough to be in Montana), also named Chris...Tinsworth though, will be back come Christmas. Not for long though, I fear. Both of them I felt for, and both of them sent to Utah on account of substance abuse (and both named chris). How...odd. November will be quite the month for home comings. Boys have been a vague subject, since everyone left. I've had frivolous feelings here and there, but nothing worth pursuing. Some odd wishes and hopes, that were quickly stifled by reality and conciousness. Its a terribly frightening direction and I am terribly stubborn in believing wholeheartedly in my unworthiness. Which reminds me of an abnormal compliment I recieved a long while back, on or near a park swing.
Oh, and today I met a prostitute. In Virginia. Really. She told me about her pimp.
I need a reason to care about something. Things are getting awfully stale.
Well. It has probably been the most eventful week or so, since summer. A lot of good things happened, and a lot of bad things emerged in the process. Float was really nice, even just working my ass off for it everyday. I had some awesome times with some of the people who were there. Its funny, because I was thinking about it... I didn't really feel one way or another when we won. I mean, I'm glad we won it was definately deserved. But I definately felt happier working on it, than when we won.
In a sick-with-nostalgia-sort-of-night, last night I hung out with Chris Farley. It was nice, to be with him again. In an odd sort of way, two years meant nothing. I was not shocked to see him. And he walked me home, and I said "be good", and that was it. I will see him in a month. And the other boy of my distant reflection (distant enough to be in Montana), also named Chris...Tinsworth though, will be back come Christmas. Not for long though, I fear. Both of them I felt for, and both of them sent to Utah on account of substance abuse (and both named chris). How...odd. November will be quite the month for home comings. Boys have been a vague subject, since everyone left. I've had frivolous feelings here and there, but nothing worth pursuing. Some odd wishes and hopes, that were quickly stifled by reality and conciousness. Its a terribly frightening direction and I am terribly stubborn in believing wholeheartedly in my unworthiness. Which reminds me of an abnormal compliment I recieved a long while back, on or near a park swing.
Oh, and today I met a prostitute. In Virginia. Really. She told me about her pimp.
I need a reason to care about something. Things are getting awfully stale.