Erg Im a Zombie
So its 7 am and Im wide awake (as much as I can be at 7 am I suppose). John Mayer is currently pumping out of my revamped ipod. Noodles are cooling beside me so I can eat something before work. No one is online. I have an hr before Moma comes to get me. What else could I do besides update my livejournal? I alread got ready-ish. Ive been leading a boring life as of late so I havent had much to write. I kind of pulled a Jessika the other week. I thought the best way to get over Joel was to get a crush on someone else. Kind of a "to get over one guy get under another" without the getting under. It doesnt help that my friend Don wants to set me up with his friends.
I met Dons friend Catlin. Hes 19, a ford mechanic, drives an F150 and lives in Rocky. He was cute and seems nice. I hung out with him for a bit and thought that maybe something might come from it. After about a week of wonderful stress and giggling crushing I asked him what was going on. To my dismay he said it was too soon after his last relationship. I was pretty upset. I was pretty delusional in thinking that he might want something more. Its no big deal now. I realize it was probably not the best idea anyways. He moves back to rocky in a month and that would have been it.
I think Im having a bit of an internal panic right now. Most of my friends have had long term relationships or are getting married and I have yet to date a guy for more than two months. I know I should just let nature run its course and blah blah blah but Im an impatient person. I think part of it is I want someone to care about me as much as I care about them for once. As lame as that sounds. Its just one of my weaknesses. Im overly sentimental. I care too easily and too much. I just think there is so many people that need someone to care about them and show it. So why not me? Well I shouldnt care so much cuz it ends up hurting me again and again. I cant and wont stop though. Its who I am and who I will remain to be. The other day someone I thought was a friend freaked out on me. He told me I was an exhibitionist with my emotions and that no one cared. He told me I needed to stop failing at life and that no wonder no one would date me. Im whiney and bitchy and over emotional. I was pretty mad. I know I can be a bit over emotional and not everyone cares about how Im feeling. Thats how I am though. I spent so long repressing my feelings that now if Im happy or upset or giddy or sick Im going to express it. If people dont care then they dont need to say anything.
I hate when I lose my train of though. I should get ready for work but Im so tired and unmotivated. Oh I got a job at a waterslide park. My moma is the assistant manager there and she got me the job. Mom and Cal got a new truck yesterday! Im pretty stoked. Shes suppose to be picking me up in it today. Then after work I get to eat then Amber Christina and I have second row seats to State of Shock and Econoline Crush. Im excited. Ive never been to a concert before. On July 13th a bunch of us are going to Hedley! Im so excited! I love Hedley! I bought my little brother a ticket for his birthday and hes just as excited. Its kind of rad. Ugh i should go finish getting ready for work and i really dont want to
I met Dons friend Catlin. Hes 19, a ford mechanic, drives an F150 and lives in Rocky. He was cute and seems nice. I hung out with him for a bit and thought that maybe something might come from it. After about a week of wonderful stress and giggling crushing I asked him what was going on. To my dismay he said it was too soon after his last relationship. I was pretty upset. I was pretty delusional in thinking that he might want something more. Its no big deal now. I realize it was probably not the best idea anyways. He moves back to rocky in a month and that would have been it.
I think Im having a bit of an internal panic right now. Most of my friends have had long term relationships or are getting married and I have yet to date a guy for more than two months. I know I should just let nature run its course and blah blah blah but Im an impatient person. I think part of it is I want someone to care about me as much as I care about them for once. As lame as that sounds. Its just one of my weaknesses. Im overly sentimental. I care too easily and too much. I just think there is so many people that need someone to care about them and show it. So why not me? Well I shouldnt care so much cuz it ends up hurting me again and again. I cant and wont stop though. Its who I am and who I will remain to be. The other day someone I thought was a friend freaked out on me. He told me I was an exhibitionist with my emotions and that no one cared. He told me I needed to stop failing at life and that no wonder no one would date me. Im whiney and bitchy and over emotional. I was pretty mad. I know I can be a bit over emotional and not everyone cares about how Im feeling. Thats how I am though. I spent so long repressing my feelings that now if Im happy or upset or giddy or sick Im going to express it. If people dont care then they dont need to say anything.
I hate when I lose my train of though. I should get ready for work but Im so tired and unmotivated. Oh I got a job at a waterslide park. My moma is the assistant manager there and she got me the job. Mom and Cal got a new truck yesterday! Im pretty stoked. Shes suppose to be picking me up in it today. Then after work I get to eat then Amber Christina and I have second row seats to State of Shock and Econoline Crush. Im excited. Ive never been to a concert before. On July 13th a bunch of us are going to Hedley! Im so excited! I love Hedley! I bought my little brother a ticket for his birthday and hes just as excited. Its kind of rad. Ugh i should go finish getting ready for work and i really dont want to