lola.
i don't know how to feel about this.
i just sat in her room today and looked around at all of the things that remind me of her.
the cards that she played incessantly. she taught me how to play tong-it. she played solitaire every spare second she had.
an unfinished scarf she was crocheting. she taught me how to crochet when i was younger and even made me a crocheted bathing suit once.
the whistling. i miss the whistling. i don't really remember her teaching me how to whistle, but i know that i did it because she did.
the worst thing to see was a notepad, stuffed underneath a kleenex box. my mother has kept a lot of things from us about what's going on with her now, and i was eager to hear the details. she told us that she couldn't read the paper anymore. she just wrote "sacramento bee" over and over. i asked if she still watched her game shows. i got my love of game shows from her. price is right, wheel of forture, and jeopardy were her favorites. my mom said she couldn't watch them anymore because she got frustrated that she couldn't come up with the answers. and there on the pad were scribbles: "sacramento bee" over and over, the names of her children in birth order: Vlad, Teh, Nini, Giovan, Bing, her signature, getting worse and worse until it was chicken scratch.
she sleeps all day and barely eats.
i don't know this woman.
i miss who i once knew.
i just sat in her room today and looked around at all of the things that remind me of her.
the cards that she played incessantly. she taught me how to play tong-it. she played solitaire every spare second she had.
an unfinished scarf she was crocheting. she taught me how to crochet when i was younger and even made me a crocheted bathing suit once.
the whistling. i miss the whistling. i don't really remember her teaching me how to whistle, but i know that i did it because she did.
the worst thing to see was a notepad, stuffed underneath a kleenex box. my mother has kept a lot of things from us about what's going on with her now, and i was eager to hear the details. she told us that she couldn't read the paper anymore. she just wrote "sacramento bee" over and over. i asked if she still watched her game shows. i got my love of game shows from her. price is right, wheel of forture, and jeopardy were her favorites. my mom said she couldn't watch them anymore because she got frustrated that she couldn't come up with the answers. and there on the pad were scribbles: "sacramento bee" over and over, the names of her children in birth order: Vlad, Teh, Nini, Giovan, Bing, her signature, getting worse and worse until it was chicken scratch.
she sleeps all day and barely eats.
i don't know this woman.
i miss who i once knew.