I list like a king, bring me wine and leg of donkey!

[decembersvirtue]

Note to Self: Buy tape for wrapping otherwise no gift wrapping will commence
Daily Obsession: Hats
Daily Object of Use: Box of paper clips
Song Stuck in my Head: Bjork - Joga

Ok, I understand you’re stuck for things to get me for Christmas, so I thought I’d supply you with a list, just check them off when you’ve bought them.

• 1 x shaved puppy
• 2 x silver tinsel
• 1 x giant pre-cooked turkey
• 5 x new shoes
• 17 x new books
• 1 x magic potato
• lots x jewellery and/or underwear
• 3 x hats
• 1 x New Oxford English Dictionary
• 1 x Blutack
• 28 x paper snowflakes
• 73 x amusing badges
• 1 x barman with extensive knowledge of cocktails
• 2 x full cocktail cabinets
• 1 x list of wants from Amazon
• 2 x cacti
• 1 x body piercing of my choice
• 1 x man willing to tattoo my name on his knuckles
• 1 x new female parental unit
• 1 x garden hose
• 1 x outdoor tap for garden hose
• 1 x person to plumb in outside tap for garden hose
• 1 x almost entire contents of Gothic Dreams (local shop)
• 1 x person to give me a new experience (no, not sexual...)
• 3 x post boy to post stuff for me
• 1 x famous singer to serenade me
• 2 x black wool coat (fitted, double breasted [the coat, not me...])
• 1 x the ability to wear anything in yellow
• 1 x earmuffs
• 3 x sword of ultimate vengeance
• 1 x new younger brother
• 17 x new work colleagues
• 1 x new job
• 2 x pet that can look after itself
• -6 x pot plant
• 2 x bank account (full)
• 1 x party feet
• 2 x party
• 1 x book on being a successful stalker (preferably written by DrFrag)
• 1 x extraordinarily long chain of paper clips
• 1 x giant plastic vending cup (bigger than my head preferably)
• 1 x ability to take back knitting a “cock warmer” for a guy when I was 14
• 3 x shorter lists
• 1 x Yahoo Serious (without Mrs Serious in tow)
• 1 x patient person to correct my website mistakes
• 1 x small cult