Sunday with Dr. Andes

[decemberflake]

Okay so here's the story. I will be 29 yrs old soon. I have been suffering from unbearable chest pains and other maladies for the past few months now. Let me digress.. About 8 months ago I was seen by Cardiologist who told me I had a heart murmur, possibly caused by the Lupus, but no biggie. He told me to schedule a f/u in 1 mo. Anyway, need a referral for a Cardio doc and happen to need one for my Rheum doc so I decided to hit up my primary physician and figured I would fill him in on the chest pain while I am getting these referrals. Get to the office, packed. My doc is overbooked, therefore I am given the option of seeing his partner. No problem I just wanna get my papers and be out. I meet Dr. Andes. Nice guy, young friendly ..listens. Upon hearing that I recently started working 3months ago, recently separated and have been sleep deprived due to my insomniac children Dr. Andes transforms into Psychiatrist. In all honesty I can admit I have been a lil stressed. I can tell you though that I am certainly not depressed. Just for the record I work with a mixed group of "tenants" mentally ill, MICA, HIV/AIDS, Low-Income and formerly homeless (supportive housing). I feel I am knowledegable when it comes to mental illness. Dr. Andes goes on the explain that perhaps my chest pains are really panic attacks. I share my view.. I have had a few in the past but only in certain situations e.g stuck in a crowed train in a tunnel for 15 minutes..claustrophbia then panic attack. This is not a regular thing though. I know what a panic attack feels like. I know what it entails. I know there are different types, however I experience this pain in varied circumstances including when I am just fine, chillin, relaxing, care- free.. call it what you will. I informed Dr. Andes that considering that last bit of info I wanted to rule out anything medical before jumping to the conclusion I am having panic attacks. Granted I am no doctor here, but it is my knowledge that usually an individual does not have a panic attack when they feel comfortable, safe, happy. It's not like I was stressing, in a stuck train, or whatever. Anyway, it gets better.. This doc checks my medical records and makes reference to a breathing test I had done in January (a time when I was terribly ill with the flu, lupus flare, bronchitis and sinusitis). Now considering I was in that condition and I really could not breathe well.. well...I am wondering how accurate his info is. He tells me I have early onset Emphysema. WOAH... Rewind.. I am 28, no respiratory diseases, only been smoking 2 yrs (okay I know that's stupid..but.. 2 years??? and not even that much smoking). He proceeds to focus on the fact that I said I could do with more sleep (but I barely talked about this and have managed fine so far). He writes me a script for Klonopin (for panic attacks) and then.. and this is the good part.. He says he's gonna write a script for a medicine that will help me sleep. HMM.. so I guess.. Ambien? NO.. HMm well what can it be? He says docs prescribe it for people who can't sleep, some with IBS, some who have panic attacks.. A flag goes up in my mind.. I am very familiar with this classification of drug. So I guess.. Paxil? I ask him "what type of drug is it?" Oh well they use it to treat many things.. yknow "you don't need to be a fruitcake to have panic attacks" (he really said that last part) He proceeds to explain that sometimes stress can affect a person physically ... OH Really... good thing he cleared that one up ( I know I sound evil.. but c'mon already.. like most people don't know this?!!??). So here I am now walking out of his office with a script for REMERON... REMERON??!! What's up with that?? I am not depressed..seriously. I am not in denial about being depressed. I am not one of the depressed who does not recognize physical signs of depression. I am not afraid to be prescribed anti-depressants. I don't believe people who are mentally ill or suffering from such ailments should be ashamed or are "fruitcakes". Plainly put though I am not depressed! Not only that but at age 28 I found myself walking out with a HEART MONITOR. Dr. Andes gave me a portable EKG.. get a chest pain press the button..EKG report goes to doc.

IN ONE DAY I AM DX WITH PANIC ATTACK, DEPRESSION AND EMPHYSEMA... OH BOY... Funny thing is he didn't ask me one thing bout my Lupus (that I really have)...HEE HEE

Okay so my thinking is this. I will try the monitor and next time I have the pain they can tell me if it's really just a panic attack. I am not close minded... hey anythings possible... as for the Remeron though.. ahh... dont' think so..

Geez I am feeling too old for my age. I need one wild weekend evening. Time to recruit B for babysitting duties.