(no subject)
So there goes my fucking bribe!
I didn't make status for thenext rec period
which means I get to walk inthe freezing cold every night into the ac
for study hall from 8-10
and I must go there EVERY school night.
I didn't make this because my attitude.
so, 2 nights ago my advisor and dorm parent wanted to "meet" with me
to bribe me
if i could go 3 weeks without disrespecting or BEING HONEST to a teacher
then I could have one night a week out fromthe academic building for study hall.
I thought it wasgunna be easy
prove those fuckers wrong, ya know?
welll
Pat and I are arguing (as usual) last night
and I start yelling
and she comes in my room
and tells me to be quiet and get off the phone
and i didn't get off the phone
so I finally hung up
and said
"please get out of my room"
and she wouldn't
so I said
well I'm gunna call my mom now
please leave.
and she said no, so i tried to get out
and she wouldnt let me out of my room.
so then i got pissed
and i said LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE
so i called my mom
and cried
and flipped out
and told her i neverwant to comeback
and i really really don't
but i dontknow where else iw ould go
because FUCK York
no one likes me there anyways,
and i dont do well here
but here,
i just feel like theres so much pressure for me to succeed and do well
and if i mess up once or fail
then I'm disappointing so many people
and I don't want to let people down
on account of my weaknesses.
MY parents are telling me that I'll do great
when really, I'm barely making 80's
but i don't want to tell them that
because I know it would crush them
and make them feel like they wasted 230948$ for me to come here
and that no matter where i go
or what i do
i won'tmake it
and i quit EVERYTHING i do
and i promised myself i wouldn't quit at this
but I want to so bad.
SO bad
but, i come home today for a 10 day break
so hopefully things will cool off here
and i can relax for a little
and everything will be okay
I didn't make status for thenext rec period
which means I get to walk inthe freezing cold every night into the ac
for study hall from 8-10
and I must go there EVERY school night.
I didn't make this because my attitude.
so, 2 nights ago my advisor and dorm parent wanted to "meet" with me
to bribe me
if i could go 3 weeks without disrespecting or BEING HONEST to a teacher
then I could have one night a week out fromthe academic building for study hall.
I thought it wasgunna be easy
prove those fuckers wrong, ya know?
welll
Pat and I are arguing (as usual) last night
and I start yelling
and she comes in my room
and tells me to be quiet and get off the phone
and i didn't get off the phone
so I finally hung up
and said
"please get out of my room"
and she wouldn't
so I said
well I'm gunna call my mom now
please leave.
and she said no, so i tried to get out
and she wouldnt let me out of my room.
so then i got pissed
and i said LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE
so i called my mom
and cried
and flipped out
and told her i neverwant to comeback
and i really really don't
but i dontknow where else iw ould go
because FUCK York
no one likes me there anyways,
and i dont do well here
but here,
i just feel like theres so much pressure for me to succeed and do well
and if i mess up once or fail
then I'm disappointing so many people
and I don't want to let people down
on account of my weaknesses.
MY parents are telling me that I'll do great
when really, I'm barely making 80's
but i don't want to tell them that
because I know it would crush them
and make them feel like they wasted 230948$ for me to come here
and that no matter where i go
or what i do
i won'tmake it
and i quit EVERYTHING i do
and i promised myself i wouldn't quit at this
but I want to so bad.
SO bad
but, i come home today for a 10 day break
so hopefully things will cool off here
and i can relax for a little
and everything will be okay