[020.] Another Waking Nightmare
Title: Another Waking Nightmare
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: [020.] Fantasy
Word Count: 2,981
Rating: R
Summary: A life without Riku was a life hardly worth living, but neither was a life with Sephiroth.
Disclaimer: I’m too broke to even be a poor, college student. I have seven dollars to my name, and two Dollar Tree paychecks waiting to be picked up. I paid for all three Kingdom Hearts games at Walmart. Let’s just say I own no rights and am not affiliated with anyone who owns to the rights to Kingdom Hearts or the characters contained within. If I did, I’d have hit them up for money by now.
Author’s Note: After this, I am 1/5 of the way through this story. Only 80 to go. With the diet/exercise routine I’m on for my sister’s wedding, she will be married and I will be thin by the time this story is over, I imagine. Oh, well. Party for twenty percent. Yay!
Author’s Note 2: I feel bad for Cloud in this chapter. Yes, I do.
Though the Gummi was on autopilot, Cloud fiddled with the controls. He looked out the window ahead, watching the Gummi cut its course toward Olympus Coliseum. He picked up the cigarette pack he stole from Leon, turned it upside down, watched a few of the cigarettes slide out, turned it over, and pushed them back in. Cloud reached in his pocket, and pulled the cell phone out for the thirteenth time that day. The display said nothing about missed calls, but Cloud checked the call log anyway. Maybe he hit a button or something and wiped it from the menu. The last call listed told him it had been Riku yesterday about the upcoming conflict between Riku and Sora, which Cloud answered. Riku hadn’t called since.
Cloud shifted in his seat.
He turned his thoughts to Sephiroth and the Platinum match. It stayed there for a few minutes before Riku came back to mind. He bounced his heels and tapped his fingertips on the chair’s armrest.
Cloud pulled out a cigarette and stared at it, trying to decide whether he was so stressed he should smoke it or not when his cell phone rang. It was Leon’s, not Riku’s, name on the Caller ID. His heart fell.
“What do you want?” said Cloud. Leon didn’t laugh as Cloud anticipated. He straightened in his seat. “Leon?”
“Hey . . .” said Leon. “I just . . . you haven’t heard from Riku, have you?”
“No. Why?”
Leon sighed. Cloud’s eyebrows furrowed. He set the cigarette pack aside and leaned forward, propping his forehead on the heel of his left hand.
“I . . . don’t know how to tell you this . . .”
“This is bad news, isn’t it?”
“Sora got here this afternoon a couple hours after you left . . .”
“Sora . . .”
“He just came from Hollow Bastion.”
“That was fast.”
“Yeah. He . . .”
“He told you something about Riku that you don’t know how to tell me.”
“Yeah. Only he didn’t come alone.”
“Donald and Goofy?”
“Kairi. She’s awake. Has her heart back. Came here with Sora.”
“And let me guess, Riku isn’t with them.”
“No . . .”
Cloud closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“Just tell me, Leon. It isn’t like you to dance around topics, and it’s freaking me out.”
“Kairi’s heart . . . it was in Sora, I guess. Riku . . . Riku’s lost his heart, Cloud.”
Cloud took another deep breath. He didn’t trust himself to speak.
“Sora said that . . . well, he told us about the Keyblade. He said that he got it back, though, before their fight. Riku fought him, but Sora didn’t want to kill him . . . of course . . . but when Sora saw him again, his voice was changed. He was acting strange. Sora said he realized it wasn’t Riku . . . that someone got him . . . said his name was Ansem. Does that mean anything to you?”
Cloud sighed and rubbed his eyes.
“Yeah. He mentioned Ansem.”
“Kairi told us that Ansem was going to try and kill her, but . . . Riku . . . he stopped it. She said he wasn’t . . . real. From what I can tell, this Ansem guy took over Riku’s body and made it his own. Kairi didn’t see Riku’s body; she saw Ansem’s. Anyway, Riku kind of appeared in front of him and held him back . . . told Donald, Goofy, and Kairi to run. Kairi said he was kind of transparent, glowing yellow-light, you know?”
“So his heart beat the darkness, but Ansem has his body.”
“Right. Sora’s going back there to try to help him, but . . .”
“Riku’s heart might be gone forever. He’ll end up wherever hearts taken by the Heartless go.”
“I’m really sorry, Cloud.”
“Why? You didn’t do anything.”
“I know how you feel about him.”
“You’re just sorry you had to be the unlucky bastard who told me.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah,” said Cloud. He shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I won’t care if you cry.”
“I’m not going to cry. I’m going to kill Sephiroth in Olympus Coliseum, and then I’m going to kill Ansem.”
“I think Sora’s already planning on that one.”
“Then I’ll help.”
“Won’t Sora wonder why you want to kill Ansem?”
“I don’t really care if he does.”
“Cloud, if anyone can save Riku, it’s Sora.”
“I know. I have to go.”
“Cloud, are you going to be okay to fly?”
“It’s on autopilot. I’ll see you when you get into Olympus Coliseum, okay?”
Leon hesitated.
“Okay. I’ll see you soon.”
“Yeah.”
Cloud pressed end on the cell phone, looked at it, and found Riku’s number in the contact list. He pressed send. Riku’s voicemail picked up on the fourth ring-all thirty-seven times he tried to call. Cloud dropped the phone on the seat beside him-Riku’s seat. He dropped his head in his hands.
Cloud wasn’t a spiritual person-hardly believed there was a higher power at all-but he clasped his hands together and looked out the side window of the Gummi.
“Please let him be okay. Let Sora figure something out. Please. Just let him be okay.”
~*~
Cloud’s fighting was shit. At least that was Leon’s assessment a week later when he, Yuffie, and Aerith showed up at the hotel in Thebes. They walked down to the arena together late in the afternoon to practice. Thirty minutes later, Leon told Cloud his fighting was shit.
“You’re never going to beat Yuffie like that,” said Leon. He arched an eyebrow and looked across the arena to where Yuffie practiced, and then to the stands where Aerith cheered her on, smiling and clapping. “How are you doing?”
“Apparently, I’m doing shitty.”
“You know what I mean.”
Cloud looked at Leon.
“Shitty. Have you heard from Sora?”
“Yeah. Yuffie, Aerith, and I went back to Hollow Bastion just after Sora did.”
“You? You went to Hollow Bastion?”
“Well, now that Maleficent is gone and that big Keyhole to the darkness is cleared up, we can start rebuilding the town. I owe it to the people of our world.”
“You didn’t do anything . . .”
“Exactly. I failed to protect my home.”
“No one short of Sora could have done it and you should stop being so hard on yourself.”
Leon shrugged.
“Anyway, I’ve got Yuffie, Aerith, and Cid in on it. Aerith is going to contact Tifa, too, and see if she wants to help. We’re going to restore Hollow Bastion back to the way it was before. You can help if you like.”
“Once I finish off Sephiroth, I’d love to. But about Riku . . .?”
“Ansem wasn’t there when Sora got back. Sora’s found another world, though, beyond Hollow Bastion. He’s going there after the Hades Cup.”
“Does he think . . .?”
“He says the farther he goes beyond Hollow Bastion, the worse it feels. He seems pretty convinced he’ll find Ansem there. Once he takes care of that . . .”
“He might be able to help Riku. Emphasis on the might.”
“You’ll take care of Sephiroth after the Hades Cup. Sora is going after Ansem. Look at it this way: by the time you square things off with Sephiroth, Sora might just about have Riku back.”
Cloud looked to the empty stands where, when he’d last fought here in a match, Riku sat, cheering him on. Cloud’s eyes dropped to the ground. He sighed.
“I miss him.”
“You hardly saw him.”
“I talked to him almost every day, sometimes more than once.”
Leon nodded.
“I know.”
“I don’t know what to do. He’s all I can think about.”
“You have to concentrate on Sephiroth. He isn’t dead. He isn’t like Zack, okay?”
“Fuck Zack, okay? Riku’s . . .”
“Did you just say what I think you said?”
“What? Fuck Zack?”
“Yes.” Cloud shrugged. “You’re worse off than I thought.”
“Riku is nothing like Zack, and I wish you’d stop comparing them. Zack died. I grieved. I’m over it. Riku . . . Leon, I think if I don’t see him again I’m going to carry this with me for the rest of my damn life. I really don’t want to do that.
“I feel like I’m going out of my mind. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking my phone’s ringing. I keep hearing his voice, seeing his face . . . I keep trying to practice to distract myself, but then I start thinking about him. You know, yesterday I went to call him and then I remembered. I’m living in this fantasy world where he isn’t gone. I don’t know what to do.”
Leon tapped Cloud’s sword with his foot.
“Defeat Sephiroth, help us rebuild Hollow Bastion, and let Sora take care of Ansem.”
“I should be doing something.”
“There’s nothing you can do, Cloud. It’s going to take the Keyblade. Sora’s on top of it. You’ll get Riku back.”
“How do you know?”
Leon shrugged.
“I’ve got a good feeling about it.”
“At least one of us does.”
~*~
Days passed, and with each one, Cloud grew more restless. He sat out on the balcony at nights, staring up at the stars. He wondered if he and Riku still shared the same sky, and if Riku thought of him, if Riku could think at all. Aerith joined him most nights, saying nothing, but she snuck looks in his direction. Cloud saw the frown, the shallow lines in her forehead, but he didn’t know what to say to assuage her concern. He didn’t even know what to do to assuage his own.
During the day, he practiced fighting with Leon and Yuffie. His fighting was more focused with his friends around, thoughts less likely to trail off onto Riku.
Some moron once said it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Cloud assumed that this person had never really been in love. At one time, Cloud thought he was in love with Zack, but this feeling he got from just the thought of Riku was nothing compared to it. Before Riku, he could focus. He might not have been as close to Leon anymore as he would have liked. He might have focused only on Sephiroth’s destruction to take back a life that held little warmth, but it was a life.
Cloud was starting to think that if he defeated Sephiroth this time, the life he would go back to without Riku wasn’t much of one. Before Riku, his life may have had little warmth, but there was some. Life without Riku was cold and empty. Then again, a life with Sephiroth in it was hardly a life, either.
Life without Riku also contained a Leon that gave him many sympathetic looks. It was a life he could do without.
When the Hades cup arrived, Leon told him to imagine everyone he fought to be Sephiroth. When his fighting remained off, Leon told him to picture Ansem. This was a little more effective, but Cloud didn’t know what Ansem really looked like. They lost against Sora, Donald, and Goofy after thirty rounds. Yuffie only lasted ten. Through the rest of the tournament, Cloud sat with Leon, Aerith, and Yuffie. He paid little attention to the tournament or the banter that ensued between Leon and Yuffie over just who actually had lost the Pegasus Cup to Sora.
When Sora won the tournament, Cloud was unsurprised and a little inspired. At least he would use that skill against Ansem. He followed his friends out of the arena to meet with Sora.
“I made it farther than you,” said Leon. “Come on, Yuffie.”
“Sora beat me before you!” said Yuffie. “I never got the chance to fight you.”
“You wouldn’t have beaten us if you did get the chance.”
“Maybe not against both you and Cloud, but I could take you on. Come on, Squall. You and me. Right now. One on one.”
“Don’t try to get a rise out of me by using that name, Yuffie.”
“Ha! I think someone’s scared!”
“Hardly.”
“Look,” said Aerith. “There’s Sora.”
“I think you’re scared.”
“I am not scared.”
“Prove it.”
“I don’t have to prove anything to you.”
“Squally’s scared. ‘Oh. My name’s Squall and I won’t fight the wonderful, powerful ninja, Yuffie, because I’m a chicken!’”
“All right, Yuffie? You want to go? You think you can handle it?”
“I can handle anything you’ve got to throw at me.”
“All right. Let’s go. Right now.”
“Don’t you want to say hi to Sora?” said Aerith.
“We just saw him,” said Leon.
“Tell him hi for us, though,” said Yuffie.
“And that I can’t see him right now because I’m kicking Yuffie’s ass.”
“Yeah, right. In your dreams, Squall.”
“Stop using that name.”
“Squally Squall-Squall.”
“Let’s go. It’s on.”
Yuffie bounced back in the arena, and Leon stomped in behind her, face livid, sword drawn. Aerith sighed.
“They have a lot of energy, don’t they?” said Cloud. Aerith nodded. “Let’s go say hi to Sora.”
She nodded a second time, and they crossed the groups of competitors and spectators to where Sora, Donald, and Goofy were laughing with Hercules.
“Hey,” said Cloud. He extended his hand. “Good fight.”
“Yeah,” said Sora. Cloud noticed his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Hercules seemed to notice someone across the throngs of people, and after a quick goodbye, retreated. “Hi, Aerith.”
“Hello, Sora.”
“So, where are you off to next?” asked Cloud.
“New world. Don’t know until I get there,” said Sora. He stretched his arms over his head and sighed.
“Leon told me about what happened in Hollow Bastion.”
“Oh. Yeah. That. Where is Leon anyway?”
“Yuffie claims that it wasn’t fair she didn’t get to fight Leon in the tournament, so they’re battling one on one in the arena,” said Aerith. She laughed and shrugged.
“Oh,” said Sora. He, too, laughed and nodded.
“Sorry to hear about Riku,” said Cloud. Damn, it even hurt to say his name.
“Yeah . . . but at least Kairi’s okay, right?” Sora shrugged and looked to the ground, toeing it with his shoe. “I don’t know. That’s the next plan. Find Riku and . . .”
“Get his heart back?”
“Leon told you that, too, huh?”
“Told me the whole story, really.”
“Yeah, well . . . I’m hoping that something comes from going to this new world, but . . . I don’t know. Let me know if you hear anything, okay? Any mention of Riku or Ansem from anyone.”
Cloud nodded.
“I will. Let me know if you find him, too.”
Sora cocked his head to the side. Cloud could’ve slapped himself.
“I mean, I know how much it sucks to lose a friend,” said Cloud. “I want to know if it all works out for you.”
Sora smiled and nodded. It was a lame cover, but Sora took it for more than what it was worth. Cloud sighed.
“Yeah, I’ll let you know.”
“He’s alive, right?”
Sora shrugged.
“I don’t know. Ansem did something to him that made him lose his heart. That’s all I know. He could be dead, I guess. I hope not.”
“Me, too . . . For your sake.”
“And his,” Sora said.
Cloud nodded.
“Yeah. That too.”
~*~
A life with Sephiroth was hardly worth living, Riku or not. That’s what Cloud told himself as he walked up to the satyr to enter the Platinum match.
“You sure?” said Phil.
“As sure as I’ll ever be.”
“You be careful, kid. He’s tough.”
Tough, indeed. Only it wasn’t killing him that was the problem. Keeping it that way was a whole other thing.
Cloud waited as contestants took their turn. Even Sora failed the first few tries. Cloud tried to make small talk, but Sora was focused. He told Cloud that he had gone off to the new world, was convinced Ansem was there, and returned to Olympus Coliseum to brush up on his fighting.
“Once I defeat this guy,” said Sora, pointing toward the arena door, “I’ll know I’m ready.”
Sora did win, many tries later, but Sephiroth wasn’t dead, wasn’t even really injured. From what Cloud gathered, after Sephiroth took enough blows, he simply stopped fighting, told Sora he was merely a passable fighter, and conceded. Cloud supposed he either didn’t want Sora messing up his hair, or was sick of waiting on Sora to stop coming back for more, and wanted to get straight to Cloud. He had no problems obliging.
Upon Cloud’s turn, he entered the arena and waited. From the other side, a side he often competed from, Sephiroth emerged, his one, giant wing poised. Cloud frowned. For a few seconds they stood, staring at each other. Sephiroth’s long, silver hair blew in the wind, and though there were many times that the thought of Sephiroth’s hair connected to Riku in his mind, this wasn’t one of them.
“So, we meet at last,” said Cloud.
“I was searching for you, too.”
Cloud pushed Riku from his mind. If Riku returned, Cloud would do everything he could to not have Sephiroth be alive when it happened. If he didn’t-now, standing across from Sephiroth, there was only one important thing to do. Riku lost his heart to the darkness, and Sephiroth was Cloud’s Ansem. He wouldn’t let it happen to him, too.
“I can’t wake from this nightmare,” said Cloud. “You are my darkness.”
“If that’s so, I shall draw you into the darkness. Into the nightmare that forever deprives you of light, from which you can never awaken.”
Cloud drew his sword. As Leon would say, it was on.
( Prompt Table) for previous installments. 020/100 Complete.
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Claim: Cloud/Riku
Theme: [020.] Fantasy
Word Count: 2,981
Rating: R
Summary: A life without Riku was a life hardly worth living, but neither was a life with Sephiroth.
Disclaimer: I’m too broke to even be a poor, college student. I have seven dollars to my name, and two Dollar Tree paychecks waiting to be picked up. I paid for all three Kingdom Hearts games at Walmart. Let’s just say I own no rights and am not affiliated with anyone who owns to the rights to Kingdom Hearts or the characters contained within. If I did, I’d have hit them up for money by now.
Author’s Note: After this, I am 1/5 of the way through this story. Only 80 to go. With the diet/exercise routine I’m on for my sister’s wedding, she will be married and I will be thin by the time this story is over, I imagine. Oh, well. Party for twenty percent. Yay!
Author’s Note 2: I feel bad for Cloud in this chapter. Yes, I do.
Though the Gummi was on autopilot, Cloud fiddled with the controls. He looked out the window ahead, watching the Gummi cut its course toward Olympus Coliseum. He picked up the cigarette pack he stole from Leon, turned it upside down, watched a few of the cigarettes slide out, turned it over, and pushed them back in. Cloud reached in his pocket, and pulled the cell phone out for the thirteenth time that day. The display said nothing about missed calls, but Cloud checked the call log anyway. Maybe he hit a button or something and wiped it from the menu. The last call listed told him it had been Riku yesterday about the upcoming conflict between Riku and Sora, which Cloud answered. Riku hadn’t called since.
Cloud shifted in his seat.
He turned his thoughts to Sephiroth and the Platinum match. It stayed there for a few minutes before Riku came back to mind. He bounced his heels and tapped his fingertips on the chair’s armrest.
Cloud pulled out a cigarette and stared at it, trying to decide whether he was so stressed he should smoke it or not when his cell phone rang. It was Leon’s, not Riku’s, name on the Caller ID. His heart fell.
“What do you want?” said Cloud. Leon didn’t laugh as Cloud anticipated. He straightened in his seat. “Leon?”
“Hey . . .” said Leon. “I just . . . you haven’t heard from Riku, have you?”
“No. Why?”
Leon sighed. Cloud’s eyebrows furrowed. He set the cigarette pack aside and leaned forward, propping his forehead on the heel of his left hand.
“I . . . don’t know how to tell you this . . .”
“This is bad news, isn’t it?”
“Sora got here this afternoon a couple hours after you left . . .”
“Sora . . .”
“He just came from Hollow Bastion.”
“That was fast.”
“Yeah. He . . .”
“He told you something about Riku that you don’t know how to tell me.”
“Yeah. Only he didn’t come alone.”
“Donald and Goofy?”
“Kairi. She’s awake. Has her heart back. Came here with Sora.”
“And let me guess, Riku isn’t with them.”
“No . . .”
Cloud closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“Just tell me, Leon. It isn’t like you to dance around topics, and it’s freaking me out.”
“Kairi’s heart . . . it was in Sora, I guess. Riku . . . Riku’s lost his heart, Cloud.”
Cloud took another deep breath. He didn’t trust himself to speak.
“Sora said that . . . well, he told us about the Keyblade. He said that he got it back, though, before their fight. Riku fought him, but Sora didn’t want to kill him . . . of course . . . but when Sora saw him again, his voice was changed. He was acting strange. Sora said he realized it wasn’t Riku . . . that someone got him . . . said his name was Ansem. Does that mean anything to you?”
Cloud sighed and rubbed his eyes.
“Yeah. He mentioned Ansem.”
“Kairi told us that Ansem was going to try and kill her, but . . . Riku . . . he stopped it. She said he wasn’t . . . real. From what I can tell, this Ansem guy took over Riku’s body and made it his own. Kairi didn’t see Riku’s body; she saw Ansem’s. Anyway, Riku kind of appeared in front of him and held him back . . . told Donald, Goofy, and Kairi to run. Kairi said he was kind of transparent, glowing yellow-light, you know?”
“So his heart beat the darkness, but Ansem has his body.”
“Right. Sora’s going back there to try to help him, but . . .”
“Riku’s heart might be gone forever. He’ll end up wherever hearts taken by the Heartless go.”
“I’m really sorry, Cloud.”
“Why? You didn’t do anything.”
“I know how you feel about him.”
“You’re just sorry you had to be the unlucky bastard who told me.”
“Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah,” said Cloud. He shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I won’t care if you cry.”
“I’m not going to cry. I’m going to kill Sephiroth in Olympus Coliseum, and then I’m going to kill Ansem.”
“I think Sora’s already planning on that one.”
“Then I’ll help.”
“Won’t Sora wonder why you want to kill Ansem?”
“I don’t really care if he does.”
“Cloud, if anyone can save Riku, it’s Sora.”
“I know. I have to go.”
“Cloud, are you going to be okay to fly?”
“It’s on autopilot. I’ll see you when you get into Olympus Coliseum, okay?”
Leon hesitated.
“Okay. I’ll see you soon.”
“Yeah.”
Cloud pressed end on the cell phone, looked at it, and found Riku’s number in the contact list. He pressed send. Riku’s voicemail picked up on the fourth ring-all thirty-seven times he tried to call. Cloud dropped the phone on the seat beside him-Riku’s seat. He dropped his head in his hands.
Cloud wasn’t a spiritual person-hardly believed there was a higher power at all-but he clasped his hands together and looked out the side window of the Gummi.
“Please let him be okay. Let Sora figure something out. Please. Just let him be okay.”
~*~
Cloud’s fighting was shit. At least that was Leon’s assessment a week later when he, Yuffie, and Aerith showed up at the hotel in Thebes. They walked down to the arena together late in the afternoon to practice. Thirty minutes later, Leon told Cloud his fighting was shit.
“You’re never going to beat Yuffie like that,” said Leon. He arched an eyebrow and looked across the arena to where Yuffie practiced, and then to the stands where Aerith cheered her on, smiling and clapping. “How are you doing?”
“Apparently, I’m doing shitty.”
“You know what I mean.”
Cloud looked at Leon.
“Shitty. Have you heard from Sora?”
“Yeah. Yuffie, Aerith, and I went back to Hollow Bastion just after Sora did.”
“You? You went to Hollow Bastion?”
“Well, now that Maleficent is gone and that big Keyhole to the darkness is cleared up, we can start rebuilding the town. I owe it to the people of our world.”
“You didn’t do anything . . .”
“Exactly. I failed to protect my home.”
“No one short of Sora could have done it and you should stop being so hard on yourself.”
Leon shrugged.
“Anyway, I’ve got Yuffie, Aerith, and Cid in on it. Aerith is going to contact Tifa, too, and see if she wants to help. We’re going to restore Hollow Bastion back to the way it was before. You can help if you like.”
“Once I finish off Sephiroth, I’d love to. But about Riku . . .?”
“Ansem wasn’t there when Sora got back. Sora’s found another world, though, beyond Hollow Bastion. He’s going there after the Hades Cup.”
“Does he think . . .?”
“He says the farther he goes beyond Hollow Bastion, the worse it feels. He seems pretty convinced he’ll find Ansem there. Once he takes care of that . . .”
“He might be able to help Riku. Emphasis on the might.”
“You’ll take care of Sephiroth after the Hades Cup. Sora is going after Ansem. Look at it this way: by the time you square things off with Sephiroth, Sora might just about have Riku back.”
Cloud looked to the empty stands where, when he’d last fought here in a match, Riku sat, cheering him on. Cloud’s eyes dropped to the ground. He sighed.
“I miss him.”
“You hardly saw him.”
“I talked to him almost every day, sometimes more than once.”
Leon nodded.
“I know.”
“I don’t know what to do. He’s all I can think about.”
“You have to concentrate on Sephiroth. He isn’t dead. He isn’t like Zack, okay?”
“Fuck Zack, okay? Riku’s . . .”
“Did you just say what I think you said?”
“What? Fuck Zack?”
“Yes.” Cloud shrugged. “You’re worse off than I thought.”
“Riku is nothing like Zack, and I wish you’d stop comparing them. Zack died. I grieved. I’m over it. Riku . . . Leon, I think if I don’t see him again I’m going to carry this with me for the rest of my damn life. I really don’t want to do that.
“I feel like I’m going out of my mind. I wake up in the middle of the night thinking my phone’s ringing. I keep hearing his voice, seeing his face . . . I keep trying to practice to distract myself, but then I start thinking about him. You know, yesterday I went to call him and then I remembered. I’m living in this fantasy world where he isn’t gone. I don’t know what to do.”
Leon tapped Cloud’s sword with his foot.
“Defeat Sephiroth, help us rebuild Hollow Bastion, and let Sora take care of Ansem.”
“I should be doing something.”
“There’s nothing you can do, Cloud. It’s going to take the Keyblade. Sora’s on top of it. You’ll get Riku back.”
“How do you know?”
Leon shrugged.
“I’ve got a good feeling about it.”
“At least one of us does.”
~*~
Days passed, and with each one, Cloud grew more restless. He sat out on the balcony at nights, staring up at the stars. He wondered if he and Riku still shared the same sky, and if Riku thought of him, if Riku could think at all. Aerith joined him most nights, saying nothing, but she snuck looks in his direction. Cloud saw the frown, the shallow lines in her forehead, but he didn’t know what to say to assuage her concern. He didn’t even know what to do to assuage his own.
During the day, he practiced fighting with Leon and Yuffie. His fighting was more focused with his friends around, thoughts less likely to trail off onto Riku.
Some moron once said it was better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Cloud assumed that this person had never really been in love. At one time, Cloud thought he was in love with Zack, but this feeling he got from just the thought of Riku was nothing compared to it. Before Riku, he could focus. He might not have been as close to Leon anymore as he would have liked. He might have focused only on Sephiroth’s destruction to take back a life that held little warmth, but it was a life.
Cloud was starting to think that if he defeated Sephiroth this time, the life he would go back to without Riku wasn’t much of one. Before Riku, his life may have had little warmth, but there was some. Life without Riku was cold and empty. Then again, a life with Sephiroth in it was hardly a life, either.
Life without Riku also contained a Leon that gave him many sympathetic looks. It was a life he could do without.
When the Hades cup arrived, Leon told him to imagine everyone he fought to be Sephiroth. When his fighting remained off, Leon told him to picture Ansem. This was a little more effective, but Cloud didn’t know what Ansem really looked like. They lost against Sora, Donald, and Goofy after thirty rounds. Yuffie only lasted ten. Through the rest of the tournament, Cloud sat with Leon, Aerith, and Yuffie. He paid little attention to the tournament or the banter that ensued between Leon and Yuffie over just who actually had lost the Pegasus Cup to Sora.
When Sora won the tournament, Cloud was unsurprised and a little inspired. At least he would use that skill against Ansem. He followed his friends out of the arena to meet with Sora.
“I made it farther than you,” said Leon. “Come on, Yuffie.”
“Sora beat me before you!” said Yuffie. “I never got the chance to fight you.”
“You wouldn’t have beaten us if you did get the chance.”
“Maybe not against both you and Cloud, but I could take you on. Come on, Squall. You and me. Right now. One on one.”
“Don’t try to get a rise out of me by using that name, Yuffie.”
“Ha! I think someone’s scared!”
“Hardly.”
“Look,” said Aerith. “There’s Sora.”
“I think you’re scared.”
“I am not scared.”
“Prove it.”
“I don’t have to prove anything to you.”
“Squally’s scared. ‘Oh. My name’s Squall and I won’t fight the wonderful, powerful ninja, Yuffie, because I’m a chicken!’”
“All right, Yuffie? You want to go? You think you can handle it?”
“I can handle anything you’ve got to throw at me.”
“All right. Let’s go. Right now.”
“Don’t you want to say hi to Sora?” said Aerith.
“We just saw him,” said Leon.
“Tell him hi for us, though,” said Yuffie.
“And that I can’t see him right now because I’m kicking Yuffie’s ass.”
“Yeah, right. In your dreams, Squall.”
“Stop using that name.”
“Squally Squall-Squall.”
“Let’s go. It’s on.”
Yuffie bounced back in the arena, and Leon stomped in behind her, face livid, sword drawn. Aerith sighed.
“They have a lot of energy, don’t they?” said Cloud. Aerith nodded. “Let’s go say hi to Sora.”
She nodded a second time, and they crossed the groups of competitors and spectators to where Sora, Donald, and Goofy were laughing with Hercules.
“Hey,” said Cloud. He extended his hand. “Good fight.”
“Yeah,” said Sora. Cloud noticed his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Hercules seemed to notice someone across the throngs of people, and after a quick goodbye, retreated. “Hi, Aerith.”
“Hello, Sora.”
“So, where are you off to next?” asked Cloud.
“New world. Don’t know until I get there,” said Sora. He stretched his arms over his head and sighed.
“Leon told me about what happened in Hollow Bastion.”
“Oh. Yeah. That. Where is Leon anyway?”
“Yuffie claims that it wasn’t fair she didn’t get to fight Leon in the tournament, so they’re battling one on one in the arena,” said Aerith. She laughed and shrugged.
“Oh,” said Sora. He, too, laughed and nodded.
“Sorry to hear about Riku,” said Cloud. Damn, it even hurt to say his name.
“Yeah . . . but at least Kairi’s okay, right?” Sora shrugged and looked to the ground, toeing it with his shoe. “I don’t know. That’s the next plan. Find Riku and . . .”
“Get his heart back?”
“Leon told you that, too, huh?”
“Told me the whole story, really.”
“Yeah, well . . . I’m hoping that something comes from going to this new world, but . . . I don’t know. Let me know if you hear anything, okay? Any mention of Riku or Ansem from anyone.”
Cloud nodded.
“I will. Let me know if you find him, too.”
Sora cocked his head to the side. Cloud could’ve slapped himself.
“I mean, I know how much it sucks to lose a friend,” said Cloud. “I want to know if it all works out for you.”
Sora smiled and nodded. It was a lame cover, but Sora took it for more than what it was worth. Cloud sighed.
“Yeah, I’ll let you know.”
“He’s alive, right?”
Sora shrugged.
“I don’t know. Ansem did something to him that made him lose his heart. That’s all I know. He could be dead, I guess. I hope not.”
“Me, too . . . For your sake.”
“And his,” Sora said.
Cloud nodded.
“Yeah. That too.”
~*~
A life with Sephiroth was hardly worth living, Riku or not. That’s what Cloud told himself as he walked up to the satyr to enter the Platinum match.
“You sure?” said Phil.
“As sure as I’ll ever be.”
“You be careful, kid. He’s tough.”
Tough, indeed. Only it wasn’t killing him that was the problem. Keeping it that way was a whole other thing.
Cloud waited as contestants took their turn. Even Sora failed the first few tries. Cloud tried to make small talk, but Sora was focused. He told Cloud that he had gone off to the new world, was convinced Ansem was there, and returned to Olympus Coliseum to brush up on his fighting.
“Once I defeat this guy,” said Sora, pointing toward the arena door, “I’ll know I’m ready.”
Sora did win, many tries later, but Sephiroth wasn’t dead, wasn’t even really injured. From what Cloud gathered, after Sephiroth took enough blows, he simply stopped fighting, told Sora he was merely a passable fighter, and conceded. Cloud supposed he either didn’t want Sora messing up his hair, or was sick of waiting on Sora to stop coming back for more, and wanted to get straight to Cloud. He had no problems obliging.
Upon Cloud’s turn, he entered the arena and waited. From the other side, a side he often competed from, Sephiroth emerged, his one, giant wing poised. Cloud frowned. For a few seconds they stood, staring at each other. Sephiroth’s long, silver hair blew in the wind, and though there were many times that the thought of Sephiroth’s hair connected to Riku in his mind, this wasn’t one of them.
“So, we meet at last,” said Cloud.
“I was searching for you, too.”
Cloud pushed Riku from his mind. If Riku returned, Cloud would do everything he could to not have Sephiroth be alive when it happened. If he didn’t-now, standing across from Sephiroth, there was only one important thing to do. Riku lost his heart to the darkness, and Sephiroth was Cloud’s Ansem. He wouldn’t let it happen to him, too.
“I can’t wake from this nightmare,” said Cloud. “You are my darkness.”
“If that’s so, I shall draw you into the darkness. Into the nightmare that forever deprives you of light, from which you can never awaken.”
Cloud drew his sword. As Leon would say, it was on.
( Prompt Table) for previous installments. 020/100 Complete.