[FIC] The Adventures of Cobo and Kuku
Title: The Adventures of Cobo and Kuku
Author: Page of Cups
Pairing: Cloud Strife/Riku
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Rating: T
Theme: #18 “Say Ahhh…”
Disclaimer: I so don’t own Kingdom Hearts it isn’t even funny. Sometimes I do in my hallucinations, but I have problems, so that doesn’t count.
Author’s Note: I have had one hell of a time with this theme and I’ve had many different ideas for it. This was a random idea that just came to me recently (not sure why) and I went, “Yes,” and squeed. The phrase never actually made it in the story, but alas. I still think it applies. I hope it does, anyway. It fits in my head and that’s what matters, right? The spirit of the prompt. Anyway, that’s about that. Hope everyone enjoys.
It was obvious from the first glance Leon laid on Nanami that she was one of those things he’d been subconsciously waiting for all his life. He fell desperately, pathetically in love at the first sight of those long eyelashes, steely grey eyes, and round, cherubic cheeks. He was codependent from the start. If she laughed, he smiled like the world was perfect. When she cried, he was on his feet and at her side, desperate to make the smile come back again. He held her when he slept, staring at her as if she held the world in her hands, and it wasn’t hard to see that she held his with no effort on her part. Nanami had never done a thing but grip his finger and just like that Leon’s heart melted and his life was devoted to her happiness.
He took three months off from the Radiant Garden Restoration when she came into his life. He didn’t stay out later than seven for almost six months. There was no persuading Leon to go out and do anything because all he could talk was Nanami, wondering if she was all right, worrying if she’d be okay, if she missed him or wondered where he was, and if he had missed anything in his absence. Every moment Leon spent away from her was a hassle and he itched, ached to return to her so he could look at her again and set his uneasy heart to rest. Ayumi swore she didn’t know what she was going to do when Nanami got old enough to realize the sway she held over her father because he certainly was going to be no help in the disciplinary department.
As if dealing with his sister breathing down his neck wasn’t bad enough, Leon’s utter devotion to little Nanami Leonheart left Riku more than uncomfortable eight months after her birth. They were going out for their first night alone since Nanami was born, and being little Nanami’s godfather and all left Riku obligated to baby-sit. He could have whined. He could have told Ayumi to call their mother because Riku was certain she’d be in Radiant Garden before he could blink desperate to see her granddaughter again. He tried to argue he knew nothing about babies, but Ayumi just waved him off.
“You’ll be fine,” his demon of an elder sister said. “And if you’re really worried, why don’t you ask Cloud to help you? Hasn’t he been talking about adopting lately? You can get some practice in.”
Riku didn’t have the heart to tell Ayumi that he was no where near relenting on the adoption subject. She was in such disgusting bliss with her perfect house, her perfect husband, and her perfect baby it would have done little good anyway. There was only one person in the world that could coerce Riku into doing something he didn’t want to do no matter how much he complained about it, and that person was Ayumi. Even Cloud gave in to him eventually, but Ayumi had selective hearing when it came to Riku. He supposed that had a large deal to do with being his sibling and even more to do with being an Asaki (he still couldn’t think of her as Ayumi Leonheart). Riku just wished she’d listen to him once in a while. He knew things were going to be hell when Leon and Ayumi started making goo-goo eyes at each other, and that they had gone from bad to worse when she planted herself on the Gummi ship for a one-way trip to Hollow Bastion. He knew she was going to do this to him one day. Riku had just always hoped she wouldn’t drag one of his friends into it. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have expected any less.
Now here he was, sitting in the house he used to call home, listening to Ayumi instruct him on everything he needed to know while Leon cuddled the little bundle of misery. Beside him, Cloud laughed.
“We’ll be okay, Ayu. Really. I think we can handle warming a bottle and changing a few diapers,” said Cloud.
Ayumi looked unsure. Leon clutched Nanami a little tighter.
“Maybe you should let Riku do the bottle-warming,” said Leon.
“We can handle it, Lee. There’s two of us and only one of her.”
Leon frowned. “Maybe we shouldn’t go.”
“Oh, come on!” said Cloud.
“No,” said Ayumi. “We’re going out. I just...”
“Look, we won’t let her play with knives, and I’ll keep Cloud away from the stove,” said Riku, scowling. “God, you act like I don’t know babysitting doesn’t actually involve sitting on the baby.”
Ayumi scowled right back at him. Leon’s frown deepened.
“You I trust. It’s him I’m worried about,” said Leon, motioning his head toward Cloud.
“That’s funny,” said Ayumi, crossing her arms. “I felt exactly the opposite.”
Cloud huffed. “We have all the phone numbers in case there’s an emergency. And both Riku and I used to live here so I think we know where everything we might need is. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve taken care of a baby, okay? If you’re really worried about me and the stove, I’ll let Riku take care of everything in the kitchen, but I know how to change a diaper, okay? It’s not like I’m going to drop her.”
A horrified, panic-stricken look crossed Leon’s face as if he hadn’t considered this possibility before. He looked to Riku. “You think you can manage Cloud not holding Nana?”
“I know how to hold a baby!” said Cloud.
“Yeah,” said Ayumi. “Riku’s the baby retard. Should I go over bath procedure again?”
Riku glared. “How many different ways can you tell me to wash the baby in the sink? I’m not going to drown her!”
“And I hope we’re both smart enough to realize that the bottle marked ‘Baby Shampoo’ is the baby shampoo,” said Cloud. “Call me crazy, but...”
“And it’s all already sitting on the kitchen counter,” said Riku, huffing. “We’re not stupid.”
Ayumi muttered something under her breath and rolled her eyes. “Okay. Just remember she already ate so it’s just bath, bottle, book, bed. You’ve got that, right?”
“Bath, bottle, butcher...” Riku muttered.
Ayumi glared. “It has to be in that order, so commit it to memory. She needs her bath first or it’s too much excitement before bed.”
“And if she doesn’t get her bottle she won’t sleep through the night,” said Leon.
“And if she does wake up before we get back, you have to let her cry a little on her own,” said Ayumi. “Sometimes she’ll just go right back to bed.”
“And if she keeps crying just sit in the room with her and sing or something. Don’t pick her up or anything. Unless her diaper’s really gross even changing it is too much. She’ll just get excited and won’t go back to sleep.”
“We’re really trying to get her adjusted to sleeping through the whole night. She’s doing okay soothing herself back to sleep, but sometimes…”
“Bath, bottle, book, bed,” said Riku. “We got it.”
“And don’t pick up the crying baby,” said Cloud.
“Are you done now?”
“Once you wake her just play with her until it’s bath time,” said Ayumi. “Really wear her out. Get her to crawl around if you can. She’s already been napping for ten minutes so no more than twenty after we leave or you’ll never get her down.”
“Bath time is always at eight-thirty,” said Leon.
“We know,” said Cloud. “You already told us all of this.”
“Twice,” said Riku.
“Three times, now, actually.”
Ayumi sighed and looked at Leon holding Nanami. She wrung her hands. “Fair enough. I guess there’s nothing else to go over, then.”
“I’m still not sure...” said Leon.
Cloud rolled his eyes. Riku sighed and stared at the ceiling. Ayumi worried her lower lip for a second and then she moved toward Leon. She placed her hand on his arm.
“She’ll be okay, I think. They have both our numbers if anything goes wrong...”
“Not that it will,” said Cloud.
Ayumi smiled at him and then looked back to Leon. “She’ll be okay,” she repeated. “It’s only a few hours.”
“Did you tell them about Pinky? They need to know about Pinky,” said Leon.
Cloud reached beside him on the couch and held out a small pink teddy bear. He waved it at Leon.
“We’ve already heard all about Pinky,” said Cloud. “It’s okay.”
“Pinky can’t go in the crib with her or she won’t sleep,” said Leon. “But she needs her during her story or she doesn’t go down as easily.”
“We know.”
“She’s teething so if she starts crying just try to give her a teething ring before feeding her or anything.”
“I already told them,” said Ayumi.
“I just want to be sure.”
Ayumi gave Leon a sad sort of smile and nodded. She gently (so gently it almost made Riku puke in his mouth) pried Nanami out of his grasp and carried her over to them. Cloud practically leaped to his feet and received the little demon. Leon shifted his weight and watched Cloud with such intensity Riku was worried he might hurt himself when Cloud sat on the couch again, Nanami cradled in his arms.
“She’ll probably need a diaper change when she wakes up,” said Leon. He turned to Ayumi, eyes wide, as she retrieved their coats from the closet. “Oh, Shiva, Ayu, what if she thinks we abandoned her?”
“We’ll be back in a few hours,” said Ayumi. “It’s going to be all right. We need this.”
“Really need this,” Riku muttered. Ayumi glared at him. “What? You two have baby dependency issues, and I’m not talking about the baby depending on you...”
Ayumi smirked as she pulled on her coat and shoved Leon’s toward him. She snapped up the buttons and pulled her hair out of her collar.
“If Nana isn’t in one piece when we get back, I know who to kill,” said Ayumi.
“You don’t think...” said Leon.
“It’s going to be okay, babe.”
She grabbed Leon’s arm and dragged him toward the door. It slammed shut behind them. Nanami stayed peacefully asleep in Cloud’s arms unaware that her father was developing a hernia over her well-being. Riku hated his sister. He hated her for sauntering into Leon’s life, batting her eyelashes, and taking his somewhat detached but fantastic friend and turning him into a simpering little mother hen. Leon used to be cool. Leon used to be great for banter and staying up late smoking and shooting the shit. Now he was cooing over that smelly little runt, spending alone time with his demon of a sibling (Riku could cry just thinking that he actually married her), and leaving his friends on baby duty. Riku had never felt so dejected.
This night was going to be atrocious. What was he supposed to do with the thing? From what he could tell over the last seven months, Nanami did little more than eat, sleep, shit, puke, and cry. Babies were disgusting. He couldn’t even play with her like she was a real kid or anything. Cloud was just going to get encouraged that they should adopt one of these little creatures because apparently a five year relationship consummated with a commitment ceremony wasn’t enough. He was already bringing up the subject.
He had to be extra careful tonight as well. Riku would bet hell hath no fury like Ayumi and Leon if their precious little monster wasn’t in the precisely same condition they’d left her in when they returned. Leon was so obsessed with his baby girl that Riku would bet he could spot a scratch on her pudgy, pink flesh three blocks away. Riku tore his eyes from Cloud’s face to look at the little girl in his arms. Whatever Leon saw there when Nanami smiled certainly wasn’t what Riku saw-all he could see were devious intentions in a baby version of Ayumi’s usual, up to no good smirk. To be fair, though, Leon fell victim to the adult version of the evil grin as well.
“Isn’t she precious?” said Cloud.
Riku twitched. “She’s a monster.”
“How can you say that?” said Cloud, looking up. He grinned. “Look at her little fingers and her little lips and...”
“She’s a byproduct of my sister and Leon. I don’t even want to think about the havoc that child will wreck upon the world one day.”
“That’s no way to talk about your goddaughter.”
“She’s only my goddaughter because I’m Ayumi’s only brother.”
“Well I think she’s sweet.”
Riku groaned. “She’s sleeping. Can’t we stick her in her crib or something and hope she sleeps the whole time?”
Cloud smiled and raised an eyebrow. “We’re only supposed to let her sleep twenty more minutes, remember? Or we won’t get her to sleep at bed time.”
“So she wakes up over the night,” said Riku. “Big deal. Let Ayu and Leon deal with it.”
“We can’t do that.”
“Okay, so what are we supposed to do until we have to wake her up? Stare at her? She’s really not that fascinating, no matter what Leon thinks.”
Cloud actually snorted at this. “He is a little over the top, isn’t he?”
“A little?” Riku said.
“Okay. A lot over the top, but still...”
“He took three months off the Restoration to be with her. Isn’t the girl the one who’s supposed to take time off after a baby? He’s supplanted his obsession with restoring Radiant Garden with that little viper.”
“Isn’t ‘viper’ going a little far?”
“Only if you think Leon is a little over the top.”
Riku huffed, crossed his arms, and glared at the baby. Cloud sighed.
“What are you really upset about? Is it because I said something about adopting again?”
Riku sneered. “No. I couldn’t care less if you want a little rug rat running around. I just don’t like babies. That’s all there is to it. They smell funny, their skin feels weird, and all they do is cry and puke. They don’t get any better from there, either. You have to keep feeding them and taking care of them and making sure they don’t do anything to kill themselves for at least eighteen years. Then you have to worry about them for the rest of their lives. You give them everything and all they do is take it all for granted.
“Look at me! I’m exactly the type of person you don’t want for a kid. I didn’t know my right from wrong if someone spelled it out for me. I ran away from home. I didn’t even sell my soul to the darkness; I just gave it away like some of kind of slut. I hardly ever call my mom, and all she does is worry about me. I don’t know why people want to have kids. They’re like having plants, but worse.”
Through his tirade Cloud watched him with a small smile on his lips but a darkening in his eyes. At the last sentence, however, Cloud’s eyebrows shot up. He barked a laugh.
“Plants? What do plants...?”
“You have to water them and make sure they don’t die. Give ‘em sunlight. You worry over them and they do nothing for you except decorate. Actually, plants do more than kids, because they convert carbon dioxide into oxygen, so they give you air you can breathe. Kids don’t even decorate. They ruin things.”
“And that’s why you don’t want kids.”
“I could never take care of a kid. I keep killing all our plants.”
“Well, that’s true...”
“I wish Aerith would stop bringing them over. She looks so sad every time I tell her I killed another one.”
Cloud sighed; he shifted Nanami in his arms. “Maybe we can listen to the radio or watch TV or something.”
“Are you upset?”
“No. If you don’t want kids, we aren’t going to have them. End of discussion. What would you like to do?”
“Are you sure? You don’t have anything you want to add or say? Get it off your chest now or forever hold your peace.”
“Nope. I mean...Yes. I want kids, but I want them with you, and if you aren’t ready...” Riku sighed and started to speak, but Cloud shook his head. “I understand that you might never be ready or that you just might never want them, so...I want to do it with you. There’s no point in arguing with you if it’s not what you want. So there’s my bit. Now what would you like to do?”
Riku looked at Nanami. “Go home?”
“Riku...”
“I guess we can watch TV...”
Cloud nodded and sat back as Riku flipped on the television. Riku tried to focus on the TV, but he couldn’t get comfortable. His skin felt itchy, his limbs achy and restless. He compulsively watched Cloud play with Nanami’s hands and feet from his peripheral vision. They made it through fifteen minutes of a program before Cloud woke Nanami. She blinked and glanced around at the surroundings. It took all of twenty seconds for her to discover that neither her mother nor father were anywhere in sight. She struggled in Cloud’s arms for a few moments and then wailed.
Cloud coddled her to his chest and rocked her, speaking in a soft whisper so low Riku couldn’t decipher what he was saying. He considered mentioning that if he couldn’t hear him, Nanami certainly wouldn’t either over her screaming, but settled for glaring at the ceiling. He knew how the brat felt.
“Leon said she’d probably need a change when she woke up,” said Cloud. He readjusted Nanami in his arms and patted her butt. “So I’m going to go do that.”
Riku shrugged, crossed his arms, and scowled at the TV. “Go for it. Less shit I have to play in the better.”
Cloud smirked. He crossed in front of Riku and lightly bounced Nanami as he walked out of the living room. Riku continued to scowl at the television. What did Cloud see in that demonic little hellion? He noted that she stopped screaming, but the most awful smell was starting to permeate into the living room. Down the hallway, Riku heard Cloud say, “Dear Shiva, what are you parents feeding you?” A baby version of Ayumi’s devilish laugh replied.
“Still think she’s precious?” Riku said, grinning, when Cloud finally walked back into the room. Nanami giggled again and yanked on one of his blonde spikes by his ear. Cloud winced.
“I didn’t know a person that little could crap that much,” said Cloud. He sat next to Riku on the couch again and winced as Nanami gave another yank on his hair. “Okay, Princess, that’s enough of that.”
“Yeah,” said Riku. “How could I possibly think she’s a demon? I have no idea.”
“Oh, she’s not a demon,” said Cloud as he readjusted Nanami yet again. She sat on his lap, facing him. She broke into a grin, displaying her few tiny teeth, and her chubby little arms stretched toward Cloud’s head. “What? Do you like my hair?”
“Cobo,” said Nanami, giggling. She grunted and stretched forward; her chubby little fingers flexed. “Cobo.”
“Cobo?” said Cloud in a strange cross between his normal voice and a baby voice. “What’s Cobo?”
“I love how you ask her like she’s going to explain it to you,” said Riku.
“Cobo,” said Nanami. She giggled again.
“Whatever it is, she likes it,” said Cloud. “I’ll have to ask Leon. He’ll probably know.”
“Right. Because he speaks ‘Baby.’”
“Well, he speaks Nanami, at least.”
“Nana,” said Nanami. She pointed a finger at Cloud. “Cobo.” Nanami glanced around the room again and pointed at Riku. “Kuku.”
“I’m Kuku?” said Riku. “Oh, that’s great.”
“Yeah, well, I think I’m Cobo and I don’t even know what that means.”
“Toy,” said Nanami, pointing at a pile of toys in the corner. She grunted. “Toy.”
“She’s eight months old with a limited vocabulary, shouldn’t even be able to associate words with things yet, but she knows ‘toy,’” said Riku. “And you wonder why I don’t want kids.”
Nanami struggled against Cloud’s grip, half-turned on his lap, one arm reached out. She grunted again. “Toy.”
“What does Nana knowing ‘toy’ have anything to do with not wanting kids?” said Cloud.
“She’s eight months old and knows ‘toy.’ If that’s not spoiled...”
“Well, that’s not her fault. She can’t help Leon would build her a toy store if he could.”
“Don’t say that,” said Riku. “He’s still Head Chair of the Radiant Garden Restoration. He might. I hear he’s already asking the Moogles what they can come up with. Let’s not make this worse.”
“Toy,” Nanami whined. “Cobo toy.”
She looked back at Cloud, mouth agape.
“Isn’t it a little soon for her to be talking?” said Riku. “Can’t we just make her stop or something?”
“Kuku toy,” said Nanami. She twisted again and reached toward the toy pile in the corner of the living room. “Toy.”
“I think she wants to play,” said Cloud.
“Pay,” said Nanami. “Pay. Pay.” She followed the demand with a gurgled string of incoherent vowels and consonants.
“You think?” said Riku. “Okay, so what are we supposed to do?”
“I don’t know,” said Cloud. Nanami struggled against his grip and babbled another string of noise. She breathed harder; hints of crying escaped her throat. Cloud shifted and placed her on the floor. “Play with her, I guess.”
Riku peered over the edge of the couch and watched Nanami clumsily push herself onto her hands and knees. She crawled awkwardly across the floor toward the pile of toys in the corner.
“We’re supposed to wear her out, right?” said Cloud. “So let’s do it.”
“Eh...How about you do it? I’ll sit here and watch.” Riku stretched out and grabbed the remote. Cloud watched him from his position on the couch. “What?”
“Are you sure?”
“Am I sure I don’t want to get my hair pulled or bashed in the head with a plastic cup? Yeah, I’m sure.” Riku flipped the channel. “You go. Have a great time.”
Cloud nodded. He watched Riku for a few more moments and then left the couch. He walked over and sat behind Nanami. She wobbled into a seated position, grabbed a block in front of her, and stuck it in her mouth.
“Isn’t that precious?” said Riku.
“No, don’t do that,” said Cloud, gently pulling it away from her mouth. She looked at it and shoved it at him, bopping him in the nose. Cloud hissed; she giggled. “All right, enough of that.”
Nanami dropped the wooden block and stared at all her toys as if deeply in thought. Then she turned her face up toward Cloud, grinned open-mouthed, and clapped.
“Oh that bodes well,” said Riku, flipping the TV station. He glanced at Cloud and Nanami from the corner of his eye. “She’s happy when you tell her no.”
Cloud sighed, looked back to Riku, and then he grabbed a stack of cups. Pushing them toward Nanami, he said, “Here. Play with these.”
Her busy fingers went to work again. She grabbed one cup off the top and threw it at Cloud.
“That’s not nice,” he said.
She grabbed a second cup as he handed the first back to her. For a moment she stared at the cup in each hand before bursting into a wild fit of laughter and smashing them together.
“Well this is fun,” Riku said.
It went on that way for an hour and a half. If Nanami wasn’t banging things together or throwing them at Cloud, she was sticking them in her mouth. Once in a while she just waved her toys around and smacked Cloud in the face with them. Cloud was doomed, too, if he let his head get too close to her hands. She was fascinated with yanking on his hair and gurgling “Cobo.” After being abused one too many times, Cloud took the wooden blocks (“Shut up! They hurt!”), and placed them on the table. Nanami whined, struggled, and then crawled across the room. She had already, apparently, progressed to pulling herself into an upright, standing position.
Annoyance and pain long forgotten, now Cloud was either trying really hard to tire her out or was genuinely enjoying this little game they were playing. Cloud would take the toys she was most interested in and place them out of reach. He stuck them on low tables where she had to stand to get them. He placed them across the room and encouraged her as she crawled across the carpet to get to them. Once in a while he got too close to her, she grabbed a fistful of his hair, and screamed “Cobo! Cobo!” but Cloud didn’t seem to mind.
Riku stayed where he was on the couch. He tried to focus on the television, but continually found his eyes drifting to where Cloud and Nanami played. He tried to be irritated, but Cloud looked so sweet and happy when she clapped and held out the captured toy as if displaying a victory. He wanted to say something about how demonic she was, but it was hysterical the way she yanked on Cloud’s hair.
It was a half hour before her scheduled bath time when she started rubbing her eyes. Her attempts to reclaim her stolen toys slowed. She rubbed her cheek and started to wail again.
“Do you think she needs changed again?” said Riku. “Cause if she does...”
“I think she’s just tired,” said Cloud. He pulled the waistband of her pants back to peek in her diaper. “Yeah. When’s her bath?”
“Half hour.”
“She’s wet so I’m going to go change her. Maybe you want to grab a teething ring or something? Leon said she’s cutting teeth, right?”
“Yeah. Okay.”
Five minutes later Riku was back on the couch with Cloud (it was sort of nice having his attention again); Nanami sat, awkwardly, between them, gnawing on a teething ring. Her eyes fixated on the television. She slumped against Riku’s lap for support.
Riku shifted; his eyes cast downward. One of her chubby hands clutched at his jeans while the other hand shoved the teething ring around her mouth. He moved slowly, carefully, almost as if he were diffusing a bomb. One hand moved over her side and supported her position against his leg. The other moved to his lap, fingertips brushing the skin on her chubby little arm. He stayed that way for almost a minute before Cloud chuckled. Riku glanced over.
“Now that’s precious,” said Cloud, grinning.
Riku scowled. “Yeah, well...I still think she’s evil.”
“Yeah,” said Cloud. “Right.”
“I do.”
“Don’t go soft on me, Kuku.”
Riku huffed. He tried to look away, stare at the floor and glare, but Nanami’s head was in his way. His eyes fell to her fingers. Sure, she was cute when she was like this, but the rest of the time-when she was banging things and shitting and crying-she showed her true colors. Why Cloud wanted one these creatures was completely beyond him. Babysitting might not have been that bad, but it wasn’t all that great, either. Anyone who wanted to deal with all of that baggage full-time was insane.
“Bath time,” said Cloud. “Do you want to get it started? I’ll go get her pajamas and then I can take over while you warm up the bottle.”
Riku sighed. He could have protested but it was true that up until now he’d let Cloud do all the work. Bathing a baby couldn’t be that difficult. All he had to do was put some warm water in the sink and plop Nanami down into it. He might have to make sure she didn’t fall over or anything while he washed her, but that couldn’t be so difficult.
“Yeah, okay,” Riku said. “I guess she needs a towel, too?”
“Ayumi has one on the counter with the other bath stuff,” said Cloud, standing. “She showed me it while you were in the bathroom.”
“All right. C’mon, Nana. Let’s get you clean.”
Riku gathered Nanami into his arms before standing and headed over the sink. Cloud disappeared down the hallway. Once Riku was in the kitchen, he sat Nanami in a high chair and turned to the tap. Taped above the sink was a note in Leon’s meticulous handwriting. Closer inspection proved the note to be bath time instructions, complete with advice on how to wipe her eyes and a death threat if Riku or Cloud should try and stick q-tips in her ears. He snorted and peered at the first step.
“’Wipe out the sink. Fill with enough water to cover her bottom. Make water comfortably warm. Use your elbow to test water. If she gets a cold, I will kill you both.’ Thanks for that, Leon. You know, your dad has some serious issues,” said Riku, turning toward Nanami. He grabbed the dishcloth and wiped out the sink. “I feel bad for you, kid. He’s going to be on your case for the rest of your life.”
Nanami giggled and pounded the tray on her high chair.
“I know,” said Riku. “I think he’s funny, too.”
As the water filled, Riku moved to sort through the various bath items Ayumi had set out. All the baby items were kept in a pink, plastic basket. Thrown over the top was a soft washcloth and something that felt like a towel but looked like a Moogle-shaped robe. There was even a hood that looked like a Moogle’s head, pom-pom and all.
“Is this your towel?” said Riku, holding the Moogle robe out to Nanami.
“Moo,” Nanami said and stretched her arms out toward it.
Riku stared at the towel and looked back at her. “Really?”
Nanami broke out in hysterical laughter and awkwardly clapped her hands. “Moo!”
Riku sighed and raised his eyebrows. “Okay. Moogle towel. Sure.” He set the towel aside and dug through the contents of the basket. There was a bottle of baby shampoo, a yellow plastic box containing a bar of soap, a pink rubber duck, and a tube of diaper ointment. In retrospect, Riku wished he would have left the duck in the basket.
After checking the water temperature with his elbow, Riku turned off the faucet and crossed the kitchen to gather Nanami. He peered toward the hallway, wondering what was taking Cloud so long, and then sighed again. Maybe he got lost somewhere or was busy poking through all the little baby things and daydreaming. Riku rolled his eyes.
“He’s probably cooing over your socks or something,” said Riku, setting Nanami on the counter by the sink. He tugged her shirt over her head, worked off her pants, and laid her out to take off her diaper. “He’s so baby crazy you’d think he was a girl or something. Then again, your daddy’s pretty bad himself.”
Riku tossed the diaper in the trashcan. Nanami kicked her feet against the counter and babbled incoherent syllables to herself.
“All right then, in you go.”
Riku set her into the sink. He glanced at the instructions just in case he missed anything, working from her cleanest parts to the dirtiest ones. He muttered under his breath and laughed at all of Leon’s threats of injury. He was just about to shampoo her head when Nanami started pounding the pink rubber duck against the water’s surface. The soapy water flew onto the counter, splashed Riku’s face and shirt, and got all over the wall behind the sink. Riku took a deep breath. It was just water, he reminded himself.
The shampoo was a disaster. He used a few drops like Leon said and was successful in rinsing it all out without damaging her eyes, but his own eyes weren’t faring quite as well. The longer Riku ignored the splashing, the more excitable she got, and when he tried to take it away, she started wailing all over again.
“What are you doing in there?” Cloud called from down the hallway.
“I could ask you the same thing!” Riku called back.
“Sorry,” Cloud said, rounding the corner and walking into the kitchen. “I got distracted.” He paused at the sight of water everywhere, Riku clutching the rubber duck, and Nanami in tears. “Well isn’t this a pretty picture?”
“You see?” said Riku. “This is why I’m not fit to have kids. Look at this.”
“Why’s she crying?”
“Because she was making a mess and getting water in my eyes splashing with this stupid thing.” Riku brandished the duck at Cloud. “So I took it away. She’s supposed to be tired, not getting worked up again. I thought baths were calming.”
“Ayumi said she likes to play in the bath. That’s why the bottle is after the bath. Remember? Bath, bottle, book, bed? Here.”
Cloud crossed over, picked the duck out of Riku’s hand, and held it out to Nanami. Her cries died down as she took the duck from Cloud, and then the wicked smile was back. She released a shrill cry of glee and slapped it against the water.
“See?” said Riku. “Look at what she’s doing with it!”
“It’s okay. What else is there to do?”
“Eyes and ears. There’s a washcloth over there. It’s just supposed to be damp. Leon has instructions on the wall, or at least he did. It’s all runny now,” said Riku. He ripped the damp piece of paper off the wall.
“That’s okay. Relax. It’s only water. Why don’t you start warming the bottle and I’ll finish this up?”
Riku watched Cloud take up the washcloth and then he moved to the refrigerator. Cloud was already patting Nanami dry (and playing peek-a-boo with her using the Moogle-head hood) by the time it was ready. Cloud dressed her for bed and met Riku in the living room.
“Here,” said Riku handing out the bottle.
“Nuh uh,” said Cloud, smirking. He plopped Nanami in Riku’s lap. “Your turn.”
“But I did the bath...”
“And I need to go clean the mess up. Unless you want to clean it up...”
Riku struggled with the options. He could clean the slippery, soapy mess that was already slopped down his front, or he could sit here on the sofa while Nanami sucked on the bottle. He sighed.
“Give her here.”
“I had a feeling you were going to say that,” said Cloud. He smiled and placed her in Riku’s lap. “Don’t worry, this will all be over soon and then we can go home.” Cloud cupped the back of Riku’s head and kissed his cheek by his ear. “I love you.”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Riku; he grinned. His eyes remained focused on Cloud as he moved out of the living room until he disappeared into the kitchen. Nanami made a strangled, grunting sound on his lap. When Riku looked down he saw her little chubby arms reaching out for the bottle in his other hand. “Oh, yeah. You want this?”
“Baba,” said Nanami. She released a little grunt and struggled again.
“If you insist.”
-0-
Cloud yawned and threw his head back against the back of the sofa. His fingers threaded through long, silver strands sprawled across his thigh. Riku smacked his lips and hid more of his face in Cloud’s lap. He was going to kill Leon. First he fussed and fussed about not going out and now it was almost midnight. Nanami had been in bed for two and a half hours without a sound and Riku passed out hardly an hour after that. If Leon thought Cloud was going to get up early to work on the Restoration tomorrow he had another thing coming (namely Cloud’s foot up his ass).
The night went better than expected, though. He turned his eyes down to look at what was still visible of Riku’s face. A ghost of a smile crept over his lips and his tired eyes brightened a little. He ran his thumb over Riku’s forehead. While Riku hadn’t exactly sung Nanami’s praises by the end of the night, he wasn’t calling her a demon anymore, and that’s what Cloud called progress. He suspected leaving Riku alone with Nanami for the bath and the bottle might do some good, but he had no idea Riku could be so easily manipulated. Sure, he could’ve just died laughing at the pathetic, wet mess Riku was after bath time, but that was expected. The bottle, however...
All Cloud did was anticipate that Riku would rather stay planted on the couch than wipe up a wet kitchen. It helped that the alone time with just Riku and Nanami forced him to acknowledge her existence as something other than the demon spawn of the hell that was Leon and his older sister. Cloud figured if they babysat enough Riku might get used to the idea of a baby and consider adoption, but the progress completed in one night astounded him. He thought when he returned to the living room he might find Riku more at ease. The last thing he expected was Riku half-asleep himself, singing a soft lullaby, bottle forgotten on the floor as he coddled her to his chest. Riku, of course, denied that he received any enjoyment out of the experience, but that alone was more than Cloud expected. He patted Riku’s head.
Cloud yawned again and drifted with his thoughts until they were broken by the creak of the front door opening. He started, sat up in his seat, and flipped off the television. Ayumi and Leon walked in the room and Leon shut the door behind them.
“Oh, isn’t that cute?” said Ayumi, taking off her coat and laying it across the back of chair. “Is the baby all tuckered out?”
“She means Riku,” said Leon, taking both their coats to the closet.
“So how did it go?” said Ayumi, sitting in the chair across from them. “Did you have any problems?”
“Nope,” said Cloud. “Everything went fine.”
“I’m going to go check on her,” said Leon.
Ayumi turned toward him and nodded. Leon kissed her forehead and then disappeared down the hall toward Nanami’s room.
“So...” said Ayumi. “How was Riku?”
“Reluctant, but he warmed up,” said Cloud.
“How many times do you think it’s going to take until he’s ready?”
“Less than initially expected, but a few more. He sang to her.”
“Really? Well...” Ayumi grinned. “Isn’t he just a softie?”
“Who’s a softie?” said Leon, returning to the room. He ventured into the kitchen, grabbed a soda can from the refrigerator, and lit up a cigarette.
“Riku,” said Ayumi. “He sang to Nana. How is she?”
“Asleep,” said Leon. “I can’t tell if they gave her brain damage, but she looks unscathed. So Riku warmed up, huh?”
“We made progress,” said Cloud. “I’m still going to need you two to go out again, though.”
“Oh, we don’t mind,” said Ayumi. “We had a good time. Didn’t we, honey?”
Leon nodded and made a grunting sound. “Yeah, it was nice. I still missed her, though.”
“I can tell you had a good time,” said Cloud. “You’re back late.”
“We went to eat and then we went dancing,” said Ayumi. “I don’t know. It’s been so long since we’ve been on a date we lost track of time. It was fun, though.”
“That’s good,” said Cloud. “Well, I guess I better wake Ri up and we’ll get out of here. Let me know when you’re ready for us to sit again.”
“Soon,” said Ayumi. “We don’t want to give him too much time between them or he might never warm up to the idea and we need to get you two a baby.”
“I don’t see why,” said Leon. “I feel sorry for any child subject to Cloud.”
“Really? I was thinking the same thing about Riku.”
Cloud took a moment to spare a glare at Leon and then shook Riku awake. He blinked a few times, smiled up at Cloud, and then Ayumi said, “Isn’t he just precious?” and the smile transformed into a scowl. Riku released a low sigh and shook his head.
“I hate my life,” Riku muttered.
“Cloud said you had a good night,” said Ayumi. “So you sung to Nana, huh?”
Riku glared. “I just did it so she would fall asleep faster. That’s all. Can we go home now?”
“Yeah, sure,” said Cloud. He patted Riku’s leg. “Just let me up and I’ll get our coats.”
Riku yawned and sat up. Cloud left the couch and headed toward the closet.
“Did you have a good time?” said Riku, rubbing his face.
“Yeah, it was nice,” said Leon.
“We’ll probably want to go out again sometime if you don’t mind sitting again,” said Ayumi. She leaned forward slightly in her seat and peered at him.
Riku yawned and shook his head. “Nah. It’s fine.”
Ayumi arched and eyebrow, turned to look at Cloud, and mouthed, “Wow.” Cloud nodded.
“We hoped you wouldn’t mind,” said Leon. “Cloud said Nana didn’t give you any problems?”
“No, it wasn’t too bad,” said Riku. “Except the bath.”
“What happened with the bath?”
Riku’s face contorted; his half-open eyes squinted further. “She went crazy and started splashing water all over the kitchen with that stupid duck of hers.”
Ayumi laughed. “Yeah, she can get a little wild with the duck. I should have warned you.”
“That must be you in her.”
“You think? I thought Leon was the wild one.” Ayumi smirked and wriggled her eyebrows. “Get it?”
Riku scowled. “I don’t want to get it.”
“C’mon,” said Cloud. He crossed over to the sofa and hoisted Riku to his feet. “Put on your coat and let’s get you home.”
Riku nodded.
“I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” said Leon.
Cloud snorted. “I’ll be late. I was up late watching your kid.”
“I’ll be there on time; you can be there on time, too.”
“Maybe if you drag me out of bed against my will,” said Cloud. He placed his hand on Riku’s back and guided him toward the door. “I’ll be there at ten and that’s my final offer.”
Leon glared. “Nine.”
“Ten.”
“Whatever.”
“Oh, hey,” said Riku just as they got to the door. “What’s Cobo?”
“What?” said Ayumi.
“Nanami kept pulling Cloud’s hair and saying ‘Cobo,’” Riku explained. “What’s Cobo?”
Leon choked on the smoke of his cigarette; Ayumi smirked at Leon. Their eyes met.
“Cobo is Nanami’s stuffed Chocobo,” said Leon.
Cloud stared; Riku smirked.
“Get it?” said Ayumi. “Chocobo. Cobo.”
“I hate you both,” said Cloud. “I’ll be there at eleven.”
“Ten!” said Leon.
“Eleven.”
“Have a good night!” Ayumi called.
“Yeah, right,” said Cloud as he yanked open the door.
“I still love you, Cobo,” said Riku, snickering.
“Well, that’s something.”
Cloud didn’t bother to show up at the Restoration Headquarters until noon the following day. Everyone was already calling him Cobo.
Author: Page of Cups
Pairing: Cloud Strife/Riku
Fandom: Kingdom Hearts
Rating: T
Theme: #18 “Say Ahhh…”
Disclaimer: I so don’t own Kingdom Hearts it isn’t even funny. Sometimes I do in my hallucinations, but I have problems, so that doesn’t count.
Author’s Note: I have had one hell of a time with this theme and I’ve had many different ideas for it. This was a random idea that just came to me recently (not sure why) and I went, “Yes,” and squeed. The phrase never actually made it in the story, but alas. I still think it applies. I hope it does, anyway. It fits in my head and that’s what matters, right? The spirit of the prompt. Anyway, that’s about that. Hope everyone enjoys.
It was obvious from the first glance Leon laid on Nanami that she was one of those things he’d been subconsciously waiting for all his life. He fell desperately, pathetically in love at the first sight of those long eyelashes, steely grey eyes, and round, cherubic cheeks. He was codependent from the start. If she laughed, he smiled like the world was perfect. When she cried, he was on his feet and at her side, desperate to make the smile come back again. He held her when he slept, staring at her as if she held the world in her hands, and it wasn’t hard to see that she held his with no effort on her part. Nanami had never done a thing but grip his finger and just like that Leon’s heart melted and his life was devoted to her happiness.
He took three months off from the Radiant Garden Restoration when she came into his life. He didn’t stay out later than seven for almost six months. There was no persuading Leon to go out and do anything because all he could talk was Nanami, wondering if she was all right, worrying if she’d be okay, if she missed him or wondered where he was, and if he had missed anything in his absence. Every moment Leon spent away from her was a hassle and he itched, ached to return to her so he could look at her again and set his uneasy heart to rest. Ayumi swore she didn’t know what she was going to do when Nanami got old enough to realize the sway she held over her father because he certainly was going to be no help in the disciplinary department.
As if dealing with his sister breathing down his neck wasn’t bad enough, Leon’s utter devotion to little Nanami Leonheart left Riku more than uncomfortable eight months after her birth. They were going out for their first night alone since Nanami was born, and being little Nanami’s godfather and all left Riku obligated to baby-sit. He could have whined. He could have told Ayumi to call their mother because Riku was certain she’d be in Radiant Garden before he could blink desperate to see her granddaughter again. He tried to argue he knew nothing about babies, but Ayumi just waved him off.
“You’ll be fine,” his demon of an elder sister said. “And if you’re really worried, why don’t you ask Cloud to help you? Hasn’t he been talking about adopting lately? You can get some practice in.”
Riku didn’t have the heart to tell Ayumi that he was no where near relenting on the adoption subject. She was in such disgusting bliss with her perfect house, her perfect husband, and her perfect baby it would have done little good anyway. There was only one person in the world that could coerce Riku into doing something he didn’t want to do no matter how much he complained about it, and that person was Ayumi. Even Cloud gave in to him eventually, but Ayumi had selective hearing when it came to Riku. He supposed that had a large deal to do with being his sibling and even more to do with being an Asaki (he still couldn’t think of her as Ayumi Leonheart). Riku just wished she’d listen to him once in a while. He knew things were going to be hell when Leon and Ayumi started making goo-goo eyes at each other, and that they had gone from bad to worse when she planted herself on the Gummi ship for a one-way trip to Hollow Bastion. He knew she was going to do this to him one day. Riku had just always hoped she wouldn’t drag one of his friends into it. In retrospect, he shouldn’t have expected any less.
Now here he was, sitting in the house he used to call home, listening to Ayumi instruct him on everything he needed to know while Leon cuddled the little bundle of misery. Beside him, Cloud laughed.
“We’ll be okay, Ayu. Really. I think we can handle warming a bottle and changing a few diapers,” said Cloud.
Ayumi looked unsure. Leon clutched Nanami a little tighter.
“Maybe you should let Riku do the bottle-warming,” said Leon.
“We can handle it, Lee. There’s two of us and only one of her.”
Leon frowned. “Maybe we shouldn’t go.”
“Oh, come on!” said Cloud.
“No,” said Ayumi. “We’re going out. I just...”
“Look, we won’t let her play with knives, and I’ll keep Cloud away from the stove,” said Riku, scowling. “God, you act like I don’t know babysitting doesn’t actually involve sitting on the baby.”
Ayumi scowled right back at him. Leon’s frown deepened.
“You I trust. It’s him I’m worried about,” said Leon, motioning his head toward Cloud.
“That’s funny,” said Ayumi, crossing her arms. “I felt exactly the opposite.”
Cloud huffed. “We have all the phone numbers in case there’s an emergency. And both Riku and I used to live here so I think we know where everything we might need is. It’s not like this is the first time I’ve taken care of a baby, okay? If you’re really worried about me and the stove, I’ll let Riku take care of everything in the kitchen, but I know how to change a diaper, okay? It’s not like I’m going to drop her.”
A horrified, panic-stricken look crossed Leon’s face as if he hadn’t considered this possibility before. He looked to Riku. “You think you can manage Cloud not holding Nana?”
“I know how to hold a baby!” said Cloud.
“Yeah,” said Ayumi. “Riku’s the baby retard. Should I go over bath procedure again?”
Riku glared. “How many different ways can you tell me to wash the baby in the sink? I’m not going to drown her!”
“And I hope we’re both smart enough to realize that the bottle marked ‘Baby Shampoo’ is the baby shampoo,” said Cloud. “Call me crazy, but...”
“And it’s all already sitting on the kitchen counter,” said Riku, huffing. “We’re not stupid.”
Ayumi muttered something under her breath and rolled her eyes. “Okay. Just remember she already ate so it’s just bath, bottle, book, bed. You’ve got that, right?”
“Bath, bottle, butcher...” Riku muttered.
Ayumi glared. “It has to be in that order, so commit it to memory. She needs her bath first or it’s too much excitement before bed.”
“And if she doesn’t get her bottle she won’t sleep through the night,” said Leon.
“And if she does wake up before we get back, you have to let her cry a little on her own,” said Ayumi. “Sometimes she’ll just go right back to bed.”
“And if she keeps crying just sit in the room with her and sing or something. Don’t pick her up or anything. Unless her diaper’s really gross even changing it is too much. She’ll just get excited and won’t go back to sleep.”
“We’re really trying to get her adjusted to sleeping through the whole night. She’s doing okay soothing herself back to sleep, but sometimes…”
“Bath, bottle, book, bed,” said Riku. “We got it.”
“And don’t pick up the crying baby,” said Cloud.
“Are you done now?”
“Once you wake her just play with her until it’s bath time,” said Ayumi. “Really wear her out. Get her to crawl around if you can. She’s already been napping for ten minutes so no more than twenty after we leave or you’ll never get her down.”
“Bath time is always at eight-thirty,” said Leon.
“We know,” said Cloud. “You already told us all of this.”
“Twice,” said Riku.
“Three times, now, actually.”
Ayumi sighed and looked at Leon holding Nanami. She wrung her hands. “Fair enough. I guess there’s nothing else to go over, then.”
“I’m still not sure...” said Leon.
Cloud rolled his eyes. Riku sighed and stared at the ceiling. Ayumi worried her lower lip for a second and then she moved toward Leon. She placed her hand on his arm.
“She’ll be okay, I think. They have both our numbers if anything goes wrong...”
“Not that it will,” said Cloud.
Ayumi smiled at him and then looked back to Leon. “She’ll be okay,” she repeated. “It’s only a few hours.”
“Did you tell them about Pinky? They need to know about Pinky,” said Leon.
Cloud reached beside him on the couch and held out a small pink teddy bear. He waved it at Leon.
“We’ve already heard all about Pinky,” said Cloud. “It’s okay.”
“Pinky can’t go in the crib with her or she won’t sleep,” said Leon. “But she needs her during her story or she doesn’t go down as easily.”
“We know.”
“She’s teething so if she starts crying just try to give her a teething ring before feeding her or anything.”
“I already told them,” said Ayumi.
“I just want to be sure.”
Ayumi gave Leon a sad sort of smile and nodded. She gently (so gently it almost made Riku puke in his mouth) pried Nanami out of his grasp and carried her over to them. Cloud practically leaped to his feet and received the little demon. Leon shifted his weight and watched Cloud with such intensity Riku was worried he might hurt himself when Cloud sat on the couch again, Nanami cradled in his arms.
“She’ll probably need a diaper change when she wakes up,” said Leon. He turned to Ayumi, eyes wide, as she retrieved their coats from the closet. “Oh, Shiva, Ayu, what if she thinks we abandoned her?”
“We’ll be back in a few hours,” said Ayumi. “It’s going to be all right. We need this.”
“Really need this,” Riku muttered. Ayumi glared at him. “What? You two have baby dependency issues, and I’m not talking about the baby depending on you...”
Ayumi smirked as she pulled on her coat and shoved Leon’s toward him. She snapped up the buttons and pulled her hair out of her collar.
“If Nana isn’t in one piece when we get back, I know who to kill,” said Ayumi.
“You don’t think...” said Leon.
“It’s going to be okay, babe.”
She grabbed Leon’s arm and dragged him toward the door. It slammed shut behind them. Nanami stayed peacefully asleep in Cloud’s arms unaware that her father was developing a hernia over her well-being. Riku hated his sister. He hated her for sauntering into Leon’s life, batting her eyelashes, and taking his somewhat detached but fantastic friend and turning him into a simpering little mother hen. Leon used to be cool. Leon used to be great for banter and staying up late smoking and shooting the shit. Now he was cooing over that smelly little runt, spending alone time with his demon of a sibling (Riku could cry just thinking that he actually married her), and leaving his friends on baby duty. Riku had never felt so dejected.
This night was going to be atrocious. What was he supposed to do with the thing? From what he could tell over the last seven months, Nanami did little more than eat, sleep, shit, puke, and cry. Babies were disgusting. He couldn’t even play with her like she was a real kid or anything. Cloud was just going to get encouraged that they should adopt one of these little creatures because apparently a five year relationship consummated with a commitment ceremony wasn’t enough. He was already bringing up the subject.
He had to be extra careful tonight as well. Riku would bet hell hath no fury like Ayumi and Leon if their precious little monster wasn’t in the precisely same condition they’d left her in when they returned. Leon was so obsessed with his baby girl that Riku would bet he could spot a scratch on her pudgy, pink flesh three blocks away. Riku tore his eyes from Cloud’s face to look at the little girl in his arms. Whatever Leon saw there when Nanami smiled certainly wasn’t what Riku saw-all he could see were devious intentions in a baby version of Ayumi’s usual, up to no good smirk. To be fair, though, Leon fell victim to the adult version of the evil grin as well.
“Isn’t she precious?” said Cloud.
Riku twitched. “She’s a monster.”
“How can you say that?” said Cloud, looking up. He grinned. “Look at her little fingers and her little lips and...”
“She’s a byproduct of my sister and Leon. I don’t even want to think about the havoc that child will wreck upon the world one day.”
“That’s no way to talk about your goddaughter.”
“She’s only my goddaughter because I’m Ayumi’s only brother.”
“Well I think she’s sweet.”
Riku groaned. “She’s sleeping. Can’t we stick her in her crib or something and hope she sleeps the whole time?”
Cloud smiled and raised an eyebrow. “We’re only supposed to let her sleep twenty more minutes, remember? Or we won’t get her to sleep at bed time.”
“So she wakes up over the night,” said Riku. “Big deal. Let Ayu and Leon deal with it.”
“We can’t do that.”
“Okay, so what are we supposed to do until we have to wake her up? Stare at her? She’s really not that fascinating, no matter what Leon thinks.”
Cloud actually snorted at this. “He is a little over the top, isn’t he?”
“A little?” Riku said.
“Okay. A lot over the top, but still...”
“He took three months off the Restoration to be with her. Isn’t the girl the one who’s supposed to take time off after a baby? He’s supplanted his obsession with restoring Radiant Garden with that little viper.”
“Isn’t ‘viper’ going a little far?”
“Only if you think Leon is a little over the top.”
Riku huffed, crossed his arms, and glared at the baby. Cloud sighed.
“What are you really upset about? Is it because I said something about adopting again?”
Riku sneered. “No. I couldn’t care less if you want a little rug rat running around. I just don’t like babies. That’s all there is to it. They smell funny, their skin feels weird, and all they do is cry and puke. They don’t get any better from there, either. You have to keep feeding them and taking care of them and making sure they don’t do anything to kill themselves for at least eighteen years. Then you have to worry about them for the rest of their lives. You give them everything and all they do is take it all for granted.
“Look at me! I’m exactly the type of person you don’t want for a kid. I didn’t know my right from wrong if someone spelled it out for me. I ran away from home. I didn’t even sell my soul to the darkness; I just gave it away like some of kind of slut. I hardly ever call my mom, and all she does is worry about me. I don’t know why people want to have kids. They’re like having plants, but worse.”
Through his tirade Cloud watched him with a small smile on his lips but a darkening in his eyes. At the last sentence, however, Cloud’s eyebrows shot up. He barked a laugh.
“Plants? What do plants...?”
“You have to water them and make sure they don’t die. Give ‘em sunlight. You worry over them and they do nothing for you except decorate. Actually, plants do more than kids, because they convert carbon dioxide into oxygen, so they give you air you can breathe. Kids don’t even decorate. They ruin things.”
“And that’s why you don’t want kids.”
“I could never take care of a kid. I keep killing all our plants.”
“Well, that’s true...”
“I wish Aerith would stop bringing them over. She looks so sad every time I tell her I killed another one.”
Cloud sighed; he shifted Nanami in his arms. “Maybe we can listen to the radio or watch TV or something.”
“Are you upset?”
“No. If you don’t want kids, we aren’t going to have them. End of discussion. What would you like to do?”
“Are you sure? You don’t have anything you want to add or say? Get it off your chest now or forever hold your peace.”
“Nope. I mean...Yes. I want kids, but I want them with you, and if you aren’t ready...” Riku sighed and started to speak, but Cloud shook his head. “I understand that you might never be ready or that you just might never want them, so...I want to do it with you. There’s no point in arguing with you if it’s not what you want. So there’s my bit. Now what would you like to do?”
Riku looked at Nanami. “Go home?”
“Riku...”
“I guess we can watch TV...”
Cloud nodded and sat back as Riku flipped on the television. Riku tried to focus on the TV, but he couldn’t get comfortable. His skin felt itchy, his limbs achy and restless. He compulsively watched Cloud play with Nanami’s hands and feet from his peripheral vision. They made it through fifteen minutes of a program before Cloud woke Nanami. She blinked and glanced around at the surroundings. It took all of twenty seconds for her to discover that neither her mother nor father were anywhere in sight. She struggled in Cloud’s arms for a few moments and then wailed.
Cloud coddled her to his chest and rocked her, speaking in a soft whisper so low Riku couldn’t decipher what he was saying. He considered mentioning that if he couldn’t hear him, Nanami certainly wouldn’t either over her screaming, but settled for glaring at the ceiling. He knew how the brat felt.
“Leon said she’d probably need a change when she woke up,” said Cloud. He readjusted Nanami in his arms and patted her butt. “So I’m going to go do that.”
Riku shrugged, crossed his arms, and scowled at the TV. “Go for it. Less shit I have to play in the better.”
Cloud smirked. He crossed in front of Riku and lightly bounced Nanami as he walked out of the living room. Riku continued to scowl at the television. What did Cloud see in that demonic little hellion? He noted that she stopped screaming, but the most awful smell was starting to permeate into the living room. Down the hallway, Riku heard Cloud say, “Dear Shiva, what are you parents feeding you?” A baby version of Ayumi’s devilish laugh replied.
“Still think she’s precious?” Riku said, grinning, when Cloud finally walked back into the room. Nanami giggled again and yanked on one of his blonde spikes by his ear. Cloud winced.
“I didn’t know a person that little could crap that much,” said Cloud. He sat next to Riku on the couch again and winced as Nanami gave another yank on his hair. “Okay, Princess, that’s enough of that.”
“Yeah,” said Riku. “How could I possibly think she’s a demon? I have no idea.”
“Oh, she’s not a demon,” said Cloud as he readjusted Nanami yet again. She sat on his lap, facing him. She broke into a grin, displaying her few tiny teeth, and her chubby little arms stretched toward Cloud’s head. “What? Do you like my hair?”
“Cobo,” said Nanami, giggling. She grunted and stretched forward; her chubby little fingers flexed. “Cobo.”
“Cobo?” said Cloud in a strange cross between his normal voice and a baby voice. “What’s Cobo?”
“I love how you ask her like she’s going to explain it to you,” said Riku.
“Cobo,” said Nanami. She giggled again.
“Whatever it is, she likes it,” said Cloud. “I’ll have to ask Leon. He’ll probably know.”
“Right. Because he speaks ‘Baby.’”
“Well, he speaks Nanami, at least.”
“Nana,” said Nanami. She pointed a finger at Cloud. “Cobo.” Nanami glanced around the room again and pointed at Riku. “Kuku.”
“I’m Kuku?” said Riku. “Oh, that’s great.”
“Yeah, well, I think I’m Cobo and I don’t even know what that means.”
“Toy,” said Nanami, pointing at a pile of toys in the corner. She grunted. “Toy.”
“She’s eight months old with a limited vocabulary, shouldn’t even be able to associate words with things yet, but she knows ‘toy,’” said Riku. “And you wonder why I don’t want kids.”
Nanami struggled against Cloud’s grip, half-turned on his lap, one arm reached out. She grunted again. “Toy.”
“What does Nana knowing ‘toy’ have anything to do with not wanting kids?” said Cloud.
“She’s eight months old and knows ‘toy.’ If that’s not spoiled...”
“Well, that’s not her fault. She can’t help Leon would build her a toy store if he could.”
“Don’t say that,” said Riku. “He’s still Head Chair of the Radiant Garden Restoration. He might. I hear he’s already asking the Moogles what they can come up with. Let’s not make this worse.”
“Toy,” Nanami whined. “Cobo toy.”
She looked back at Cloud, mouth agape.
“Isn’t it a little soon for her to be talking?” said Riku. “Can’t we just make her stop or something?”
“Kuku toy,” said Nanami. She twisted again and reached toward the toy pile in the corner of the living room. “Toy.”
“I think she wants to play,” said Cloud.
“Pay,” said Nanami. “Pay. Pay.” She followed the demand with a gurgled string of incoherent vowels and consonants.
“You think?” said Riku. “Okay, so what are we supposed to do?”
“I don’t know,” said Cloud. Nanami struggled against his grip and babbled another string of noise. She breathed harder; hints of crying escaped her throat. Cloud shifted and placed her on the floor. “Play with her, I guess.”
Riku peered over the edge of the couch and watched Nanami clumsily push herself onto her hands and knees. She crawled awkwardly across the floor toward the pile of toys in the corner.
“We’re supposed to wear her out, right?” said Cloud. “So let’s do it.”
“Eh...How about you do it? I’ll sit here and watch.” Riku stretched out and grabbed the remote. Cloud watched him from his position on the couch. “What?”
“Are you sure?”
“Am I sure I don’t want to get my hair pulled or bashed in the head with a plastic cup? Yeah, I’m sure.” Riku flipped the channel. “You go. Have a great time.”
Cloud nodded. He watched Riku for a few more moments and then left the couch. He walked over and sat behind Nanami. She wobbled into a seated position, grabbed a block in front of her, and stuck it in her mouth.
“Isn’t that precious?” said Riku.
“No, don’t do that,” said Cloud, gently pulling it away from her mouth. She looked at it and shoved it at him, bopping him in the nose. Cloud hissed; she giggled. “All right, enough of that.”
Nanami dropped the wooden block and stared at all her toys as if deeply in thought. Then she turned her face up toward Cloud, grinned open-mouthed, and clapped.
“Oh that bodes well,” said Riku, flipping the TV station. He glanced at Cloud and Nanami from the corner of his eye. “She’s happy when you tell her no.”
Cloud sighed, looked back to Riku, and then he grabbed a stack of cups. Pushing them toward Nanami, he said, “Here. Play with these.”
Her busy fingers went to work again. She grabbed one cup off the top and threw it at Cloud.
“That’s not nice,” he said.
She grabbed a second cup as he handed the first back to her. For a moment she stared at the cup in each hand before bursting into a wild fit of laughter and smashing them together.
“Well this is fun,” Riku said.
It went on that way for an hour and a half. If Nanami wasn’t banging things together or throwing them at Cloud, she was sticking them in her mouth. Once in a while she just waved her toys around and smacked Cloud in the face with them. Cloud was doomed, too, if he let his head get too close to her hands. She was fascinated with yanking on his hair and gurgling “Cobo.” After being abused one too many times, Cloud took the wooden blocks (“Shut up! They hurt!”), and placed them on the table. Nanami whined, struggled, and then crawled across the room. She had already, apparently, progressed to pulling herself into an upright, standing position.
Annoyance and pain long forgotten, now Cloud was either trying really hard to tire her out or was genuinely enjoying this little game they were playing. Cloud would take the toys she was most interested in and place them out of reach. He stuck them on low tables where she had to stand to get them. He placed them across the room and encouraged her as she crawled across the carpet to get to them. Once in a while he got too close to her, she grabbed a fistful of his hair, and screamed “Cobo! Cobo!” but Cloud didn’t seem to mind.
Riku stayed where he was on the couch. He tried to focus on the television, but continually found his eyes drifting to where Cloud and Nanami played. He tried to be irritated, but Cloud looked so sweet and happy when she clapped and held out the captured toy as if displaying a victory. He wanted to say something about how demonic she was, but it was hysterical the way she yanked on Cloud’s hair.
It was a half hour before her scheduled bath time when she started rubbing her eyes. Her attempts to reclaim her stolen toys slowed. She rubbed her cheek and started to wail again.
“Do you think she needs changed again?” said Riku. “Cause if she does...”
“I think she’s just tired,” said Cloud. He pulled the waistband of her pants back to peek in her diaper. “Yeah. When’s her bath?”
“Half hour.”
“She’s wet so I’m going to go change her. Maybe you want to grab a teething ring or something? Leon said she’s cutting teeth, right?”
“Yeah. Okay.”
Five minutes later Riku was back on the couch with Cloud (it was sort of nice having his attention again); Nanami sat, awkwardly, between them, gnawing on a teething ring. Her eyes fixated on the television. She slumped against Riku’s lap for support.
Riku shifted; his eyes cast downward. One of her chubby hands clutched at his jeans while the other hand shoved the teething ring around her mouth. He moved slowly, carefully, almost as if he were diffusing a bomb. One hand moved over her side and supported her position against his leg. The other moved to his lap, fingertips brushing the skin on her chubby little arm. He stayed that way for almost a minute before Cloud chuckled. Riku glanced over.
“Now that’s precious,” said Cloud, grinning.
Riku scowled. “Yeah, well...I still think she’s evil.”
“Yeah,” said Cloud. “Right.”
“I do.”
“Don’t go soft on me, Kuku.”
Riku huffed. He tried to look away, stare at the floor and glare, but Nanami’s head was in his way. His eyes fell to her fingers. Sure, she was cute when she was like this, but the rest of the time-when she was banging things and shitting and crying-she showed her true colors. Why Cloud wanted one these creatures was completely beyond him. Babysitting might not have been that bad, but it wasn’t all that great, either. Anyone who wanted to deal with all of that baggage full-time was insane.
“Bath time,” said Cloud. “Do you want to get it started? I’ll go get her pajamas and then I can take over while you warm up the bottle.”
Riku sighed. He could have protested but it was true that up until now he’d let Cloud do all the work. Bathing a baby couldn’t be that difficult. All he had to do was put some warm water in the sink and plop Nanami down into it. He might have to make sure she didn’t fall over or anything while he washed her, but that couldn’t be so difficult.
“Yeah, okay,” Riku said. “I guess she needs a towel, too?”
“Ayumi has one on the counter with the other bath stuff,” said Cloud, standing. “She showed me it while you were in the bathroom.”
“All right. C’mon, Nana. Let’s get you clean.”
Riku gathered Nanami into his arms before standing and headed over the sink. Cloud disappeared down the hallway. Once Riku was in the kitchen, he sat Nanami in a high chair and turned to the tap. Taped above the sink was a note in Leon’s meticulous handwriting. Closer inspection proved the note to be bath time instructions, complete with advice on how to wipe her eyes and a death threat if Riku or Cloud should try and stick q-tips in her ears. He snorted and peered at the first step.
“’Wipe out the sink. Fill with enough water to cover her bottom. Make water comfortably warm. Use your elbow to test water. If she gets a cold, I will kill you both.’ Thanks for that, Leon. You know, your dad has some serious issues,” said Riku, turning toward Nanami. He grabbed the dishcloth and wiped out the sink. “I feel bad for you, kid. He’s going to be on your case for the rest of your life.”
Nanami giggled and pounded the tray on her high chair.
“I know,” said Riku. “I think he’s funny, too.”
As the water filled, Riku moved to sort through the various bath items Ayumi had set out. All the baby items were kept in a pink, plastic basket. Thrown over the top was a soft washcloth and something that felt like a towel but looked like a Moogle-shaped robe. There was even a hood that looked like a Moogle’s head, pom-pom and all.
“Is this your towel?” said Riku, holding the Moogle robe out to Nanami.
“Moo,” Nanami said and stretched her arms out toward it.
Riku stared at the towel and looked back at her. “Really?”
Nanami broke out in hysterical laughter and awkwardly clapped her hands. “Moo!”
Riku sighed and raised his eyebrows. “Okay. Moogle towel. Sure.” He set the towel aside and dug through the contents of the basket. There was a bottle of baby shampoo, a yellow plastic box containing a bar of soap, a pink rubber duck, and a tube of diaper ointment. In retrospect, Riku wished he would have left the duck in the basket.
After checking the water temperature with his elbow, Riku turned off the faucet and crossed the kitchen to gather Nanami. He peered toward the hallway, wondering what was taking Cloud so long, and then sighed again. Maybe he got lost somewhere or was busy poking through all the little baby things and daydreaming. Riku rolled his eyes.
“He’s probably cooing over your socks or something,” said Riku, setting Nanami on the counter by the sink. He tugged her shirt over her head, worked off her pants, and laid her out to take off her diaper. “He’s so baby crazy you’d think he was a girl or something. Then again, your daddy’s pretty bad himself.”
Riku tossed the diaper in the trashcan. Nanami kicked her feet against the counter and babbled incoherent syllables to herself.
“All right then, in you go.”
Riku set her into the sink. He glanced at the instructions just in case he missed anything, working from her cleanest parts to the dirtiest ones. He muttered under his breath and laughed at all of Leon’s threats of injury. He was just about to shampoo her head when Nanami started pounding the pink rubber duck against the water’s surface. The soapy water flew onto the counter, splashed Riku’s face and shirt, and got all over the wall behind the sink. Riku took a deep breath. It was just water, he reminded himself.
The shampoo was a disaster. He used a few drops like Leon said and was successful in rinsing it all out without damaging her eyes, but his own eyes weren’t faring quite as well. The longer Riku ignored the splashing, the more excitable she got, and when he tried to take it away, she started wailing all over again.
“What are you doing in there?” Cloud called from down the hallway.
“I could ask you the same thing!” Riku called back.
“Sorry,” Cloud said, rounding the corner and walking into the kitchen. “I got distracted.” He paused at the sight of water everywhere, Riku clutching the rubber duck, and Nanami in tears. “Well isn’t this a pretty picture?”
“You see?” said Riku. “This is why I’m not fit to have kids. Look at this.”
“Why’s she crying?”
“Because she was making a mess and getting water in my eyes splashing with this stupid thing.” Riku brandished the duck at Cloud. “So I took it away. She’s supposed to be tired, not getting worked up again. I thought baths were calming.”
“Ayumi said she likes to play in the bath. That’s why the bottle is after the bath. Remember? Bath, bottle, book, bed? Here.”
Cloud crossed over, picked the duck out of Riku’s hand, and held it out to Nanami. Her cries died down as she took the duck from Cloud, and then the wicked smile was back. She released a shrill cry of glee and slapped it against the water.
“See?” said Riku. “Look at what she’s doing with it!”
“It’s okay. What else is there to do?”
“Eyes and ears. There’s a washcloth over there. It’s just supposed to be damp. Leon has instructions on the wall, or at least he did. It’s all runny now,” said Riku. He ripped the damp piece of paper off the wall.
“That’s okay. Relax. It’s only water. Why don’t you start warming the bottle and I’ll finish this up?”
Riku watched Cloud take up the washcloth and then he moved to the refrigerator. Cloud was already patting Nanami dry (and playing peek-a-boo with her using the Moogle-head hood) by the time it was ready. Cloud dressed her for bed and met Riku in the living room.
“Here,” said Riku handing out the bottle.
“Nuh uh,” said Cloud, smirking. He plopped Nanami in Riku’s lap. “Your turn.”
“But I did the bath...”
“And I need to go clean the mess up. Unless you want to clean it up...”
Riku struggled with the options. He could clean the slippery, soapy mess that was already slopped down his front, or he could sit here on the sofa while Nanami sucked on the bottle. He sighed.
“Give her here.”
“I had a feeling you were going to say that,” said Cloud. He smiled and placed her in Riku’s lap. “Don’t worry, this will all be over soon and then we can go home.” Cloud cupped the back of Riku’s head and kissed his cheek by his ear. “I love you.”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Riku; he grinned. His eyes remained focused on Cloud as he moved out of the living room until he disappeared into the kitchen. Nanami made a strangled, grunting sound on his lap. When Riku looked down he saw her little chubby arms reaching out for the bottle in his other hand. “Oh, yeah. You want this?”
“Baba,” said Nanami. She released a little grunt and struggled again.
“If you insist.”
-0-
Cloud yawned and threw his head back against the back of the sofa. His fingers threaded through long, silver strands sprawled across his thigh. Riku smacked his lips and hid more of his face in Cloud’s lap. He was going to kill Leon. First he fussed and fussed about not going out and now it was almost midnight. Nanami had been in bed for two and a half hours without a sound and Riku passed out hardly an hour after that. If Leon thought Cloud was going to get up early to work on the Restoration tomorrow he had another thing coming (namely Cloud’s foot up his ass).
The night went better than expected, though. He turned his eyes down to look at what was still visible of Riku’s face. A ghost of a smile crept over his lips and his tired eyes brightened a little. He ran his thumb over Riku’s forehead. While Riku hadn’t exactly sung Nanami’s praises by the end of the night, he wasn’t calling her a demon anymore, and that’s what Cloud called progress. He suspected leaving Riku alone with Nanami for the bath and the bottle might do some good, but he had no idea Riku could be so easily manipulated. Sure, he could’ve just died laughing at the pathetic, wet mess Riku was after bath time, but that was expected. The bottle, however...
All Cloud did was anticipate that Riku would rather stay planted on the couch than wipe up a wet kitchen. It helped that the alone time with just Riku and Nanami forced him to acknowledge her existence as something other than the demon spawn of the hell that was Leon and his older sister. Cloud figured if they babysat enough Riku might get used to the idea of a baby and consider adoption, but the progress completed in one night astounded him. He thought when he returned to the living room he might find Riku more at ease. The last thing he expected was Riku half-asleep himself, singing a soft lullaby, bottle forgotten on the floor as he coddled her to his chest. Riku, of course, denied that he received any enjoyment out of the experience, but that alone was more than Cloud expected. He patted Riku’s head.
Cloud yawned again and drifted with his thoughts until they were broken by the creak of the front door opening. He started, sat up in his seat, and flipped off the television. Ayumi and Leon walked in the room and Leon shut the door behind them.
“Oh, isn’t that cute?” said Ayumi, taking off her coat and laying it across the back of chair. “Is the baby all tuckered out?”
“She means Riku,” said Leon, taking both their coats to the closet.
“So how did it go?” said Ayumi, sitting in the chair across from them. “Did you have any problems?”
“Nope,” said Cloud. “Everything went fine.”
“I’m going to go check on her,” said Leon.
Ayumi turned toward him and nodded. Leon kissed her forehead and then disappeared down the hall toward Nanami’s room.
“So...” said Ayumi. “How was Riku?”
“Reluctant, but he warmed up,” said Cloud.
“How many times do you think it’s going to take until he’s ready?”
“Less than initially expected, but a few more. He sang to her.”
“Really? Well...” Ayumi grinned. “Isn’t he just a softie?”
“Who’s a softie?” said Leon, returning to the room. He ventured into the kitchen, grabbed a soda can from the refrigerator, and lit up a cigarette.
“Riku,” said Ayumi. “He sang to Nana. How is she?”
“Asleep,” said Leon. “I can’t tell if they gave her brain damage, but she looks unscathed. So Riku warmed up, huh?”
“We made progress,” said Cloud. “I’m still going to need you two to go out again, though.”
“Oh, we don’t mind,” said Ayumi. “We had a good time. Didn’t we, honey?”
Leon nodded and made a grunting sound. “Yeah, it was nice. I still missed her, though.”
“I can tell you had a good time,” said Cloud. “You’re back late.”
“We went to eat and then we went dancing,” said Ayumi. “I don’t know. It’s been so long since we’ve been on a date we lost track of time. It was fun, though.”
“That’s good,” said Cloud. “Well, I guess I better wake Ri up and we’ll get out of here. Let me know when you’re ready for us to sit again.”
“Soon,” said Ayumi. “We don’t want to give him too much time between them or he might never warm up to the idea and we need to get you two a baby.”
“I don’t see why,” said Leon. “I feel sorry for any child subject to Cloud.”
“Really? I was thinking the same thing about Riku.”
Cloud took a moment to spare a glare at Leon and then shook Riku awake. He blinked a few times, smiled up at Cloud, and then Ayumi said, “Isn’t he just precious?” and the smile transformed into a scowl. Riku released a low sigh and shook his head.
“I hate my life,” Riku muttered.
“Cloud said you had a good night,” said Ayumi. “So you sung to Nana, huh?”
Riku glared. “I just did it so she would fall asleep faster. That’s all. Can we go home now?”
“Yeah, sure,” said Cloud. He patted Riku’s leg. “Just let me up and I’ll get our coats.”
Riku yawned and sat up. Cloud left the couch and headed toward the closet.
“Did you have a good time?” said Riku, rubbing his face.
“Yeah, it was nice,” said Leon.
“We’ll probably want to go out again sometime if you don’t mind sitting again,” said Ayumi. She leaned forward slightly in her seat and peered at him.
Riku yawned and shook his head. “Nah. It’s fine.”
Ayumi arched and eyebrow, turned to look at Cloud, and mouthed, “Wow.” Cloud nodded.
“We hoped you wouldn’t mind,” said Leon. “Cloud said Nana didn’t give you any problems?”
“No, it wasn’t too bad,” said Riku. “Except the bath.”
“What happened with the bath?”
Riku’s face contorted; his half-open eyes squinted further. “She went crazy and started splashing water all over the kitchen with that stupid duck of hers.”
Ayumi laughed. “Yeah, she can get a little wild with the duck. I should have warned you.”
“That must be you in her.”
“You think? I thought Leon was the wild one.” Ayumi smirked and wriggled her eyebrows. “Get it?”
Riku scowled. “I don’t want to get it.”
“C’mon,” said Cloud. He crossed over to the sofa and hoisted Riku to his feet. “Put on your coat and let’s get you home.”
Riku nodded.
“I’ll see you tomorrow morning?” said Leon.
Cloud snorted. “I’ll be late. I was up late watching your kid.”
“I’ll be there on time; you can be there on time, too.”
“Maybe if you drag me out of bed against my will,” said Cloud. He placed his hand on Riku’s back and guided him toward the door. “I’ll be there at ten and that’s my final offer.”
Leon glared. “Nine.”
“Ten.”
“Whatever.”
“Oh, hey,” said Riku just as they got to the door. “What’s Cobo?”
“What?” said Ayumi.
“Nanami kept pulling Cloud’s hair and saying ‘Cobo,’” Riku explained. “What’s Cobo?”
Leon choked on the smoke of his cigarette; Ayumi smirked at Leon. Their eyes met.
“Cobo is Nanami’s stuffed Chocobo,” said Leon.
Cloud stared; Riku smirked.
“Get it?” said Ayumi. “Chocobo. Cobo.”
“I hate you both,” said Cloud. “I’ll be there at eleven.”
“Ten!” said Leon.
“Eleven.”
“Have a good night!” Ayumi called.
“Yeah, right,” said Cloud as he yanked open the door.
“I still love you, Cobo,” said Riku, snickering.
“Well, that’s something.”
Cloud didn’t bother to show up at the Restoration Headquarters until noon the following day. Everyone was already calling him Cobo.