Walk softly and carry a big trout
If you could meet any famous personality, living or dead, and smack them in the head with a large trout, who would it be?
I'd whack the guy who invented high heels. And every fashion editor that said I can't wear flats with a short skirt or my legs will look chunky.
After I've had my morning coffee, my disposition improves. My legs do look hot in these heels. I hand a conciliatory bottle of Jean Nate to the inventor and wonder how fish can stand to live with themselves.
I rethink who could be best improved by a few wet fish scales on their person and it hits me - or him:
Sam Donaldson.
Sam, you have the worst celebrity toupee. Let's start with the obvious. I'm a girl. I've compiled and analyzed hair all my life. You get the award for misuse of the toupee.
Why is it that no matter how disturbing I might find the news, I still can only ask myself "what is up with his hair?" I tend to think his hair more vinyl than strand based. Kind of like Lewiston's couch.
And Marv Albert, Spock and Elton? Don't get too comfortable with those smug looks.
Most improved toupee? Well, Dad... You've evolved from that poodle look you adorned for years. I love you
Decca Crane
Crane, Poole & Schmidt Law Firm
Boston Legal Community
w / 195
[Cross posted to Theatrical Muse]
I'd whack the guy who invented high heels. And every fashion editor that said I can't wear flats with a short skirt or my legs will look chunky.
After I've had my morning coffee, my disposition improves. My legs do look hot in these heels. I hand a conciliatory bottle of Jean Nate to the inventor and wonder how fish can stand to live with themselves.
I rethink who could be best improved by a few wet fish scales on their person and it hits me - or him:
Sam Donaldson.
Sam, you have the worst celebrity toupee. Let's start with the obvious. I'm a girl. I've compiled and analyzed hair all my life. You get the award for misuse of the toupee.
Why is it that no matter how disturbing I might find the news, I still can only ask myself "what is up with his hair?" I tend to think his hair more vinyl than strand based. Kind of like Lewiston's couch.
And Marv Albert, Spock and Elton? Don't get too comfortable with those smug looks.
Most improved toupee? Well, Dad... You've evolved from that poodle look you adorned for years. I love you
Decca Crane
Crane, Poole & Schmidt Law Firm
Boston Legal Community
w / 195
[Cross posted to Theatrical Muse]