(no subject)
so im bored and updating seems natural. i have a terrible cough. it is horrible, i hope i get better soon. i should pray for it again. i love that i pray continually, it helps. because im not always praying FOR something, sometimes i pray out of appreciation. im not always asking for something. so my mom and i spent some time together today, it went well. although i hate how she always pushes me to buy a bigger size. im like, its supposed to fit like that. i have decided that being a size eight isnt that bad. i just want to lose 20 pounds. apparently emaciated isnt that cool to me anymore. yup. plus its just easier and much more pleasant to stop pushing. i exercised so much today. i almost passed out in the shower, no joke! i cant believe how bad ive gotten. i used to be able to pull out 1000 situps like whoa, now i get tired. buts it okay because i will get better. i say in a month i should be looking better. im excited for france. it hasnt really hit me yet. im sad to leave bryan, but i think the time away from him will be good for me. i depend on that kid way too much. josh might come to visit. how awesome is that?!?! i hope i see bryan tongiht, but im betting i wont. this is why i need a car, so i could drive my fat ass over to see him. instead he always has to do the driving. grrr. i need to get my license!!! i will. yes i will. i need to pray for bravery. i hate driving, i get so damned nervous i forget the difference between the brake and the gas. not fun. ten bucks says i will talk to bryan for like 20 minutes then he will go to sleep and i will be sad i didnt get to see him much today(damn you carissa)...then tomorrow i have the whole day off. no school or work. and plus no one will be home. and bryan will be busy most likely. joy. i hope i stay strong. when i have so much time to myself i learn to be dark and destructive. but hopefully i will distract myself with the lord and school stuff. spring break soon. yes. time to do some disciplship training.