(no subject)

[decadntmelnchly]

im used to being unsatisfied with myself
ive just come to expect it
that when i look in the mirror i see someone i want to destroy
i want to dissipate into sweet nothingness
and somedays i think im so close
but then responsibilities of life grab hold
and i become distracted by trivial things
i randomly taste him in my mouth
and smell him when other people walk by
it doesnt even need to resemble his scent
it just triggers him
i can still feel his hands on my hips
and his pelvis jarred against mine