Oracular Pig
I've been MIA recently (well, missing from posting). Still around, just not with the writing it down. Apologies, grovelling, etc. Information in heading and bullet point format, 'cause it's easier to type that way.
Gold Coast
~ Al and I fly out on the 30th of October, with a flight late afternoon. Wow, that's getting close! Is there anyone in Auckland who cares to provide transport services to the airport in the early afternoon? Alasatyr is now unable to (pesky paid work getting in the way of being a chauffeur), and Sparky is working as well.
~ We're most excited, but still tight on the cash. Everyone has been amazing, and the BigTaz Internet-athon™ has raised just over FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS, which is 4/5ths of our target. We are still, very happily, taking donations, and if you've been meaning to but not got around to it yet, fear not! We will accept your hard-earned monies! It scares me that I'm getting less embarrassed about asking for help in currency form. Apparently I have been doing this too long ...
~ Also, those of you who have donated but not yet told me you want a postcard, expect an email later this week asking for a snail-mail addy and your choice of illustration on correspondence-to-come.
Social
~ Cocktail party a few weeks back from Lisa's birthday was excellent, and great fun. Plus I dressed up and wore high heels and a hat. And Ben had his hair out for a change. Yum. I took photos, but suck and haven't done anything with them yet.
~ Piratical wedding weekend before last for Struan and his bride. I wore a short sun-frock, and there were lots of people in pirate clothes saying Arrrrrr. It was a really nice evening. I didn't take any photos, but lots of other people did. There are probably some around somewhere.
~ Impromptu gathering at the Wolverines on Sunday (for Tamsin's birthday) was really fun, although watching The Black Cauldron was somewhat painful. What was Disney on? Very strange stuff indeed. And Gurgi was Gollum before Gollum was ever put on screen. *shudders*
~ I am feeling intensely anti-social today, so hid in bed. That worked well. Now I don't feel quite as non-people-y.
Danny
~ Danny's memorial service sucked, frankly. Which left Al and I both quite angry. Not just us, either. Certainly it didn't feel like a memorial to us - there was no real sense of closure.
~ Danny had three important parts of his life, and none really took precendence over the others: the Catholic part, the deaf part, and the gay part. The first two were discussed and remembered and memorialised with great fervour and thanks. The final third was completely ignored. This despite a good third of the congregation (obviously) being part of the GLBT community - along with hangers-on like me. But no. The word 'gay' mentioned exactly once, with a leader in the deaf community mentioning the work Danny had done FOR the 'gay and lesbian community'. Not 'with', though. No, not with.
~ I get the feeling that Danny's sexuality, which was never particularly overt unless he was at Bear's Night at Urge, was an embarrassment to his family, and something they wished to ignore as much as possible. There wasn't even a memorial book for people to sign at the service. (We found out a few days later that there had been one at the funeral, though, along with full-colour and photograph-laden order of service, unlike the b&w printed on green paper one we got in Auckland.)
~ The next day Danny's brother, along with two other people, came to take back the car Danny had lent Al. Because it'll take three people to wrest it from Al's noodly arms... or perhaps they were afraid of catching THE GAY? So we're back to one car, temporarily.
Al
~ There's a bunch to go here.
~ Ben and I are doing the sums and discussing options regarding cars. The plan is for Al to use Selkie (my car) which he is still able to drive (it's automatic, the suspension in the front isn't too jouncy, and there's enough leg-room for him). But as I still need a car, it's time to hunt for a newer one. We'll probably get a loan and purchase from a car yard, get something that'll last me a good wee while. Although that's unlikely to happen until after we come back from holiday.
~ In the meantime, he's feeling really trapped. Even though he doesn't go out that often, when he does it has to be by car - he can't even walk to the letterbox and back. Anyone have a spare car they want to lend me until the end of the month? *looks hopeful*
~ Ben and I are also discussing getting Al a laptop and setting up a wireless LAN so he can access the internet. Make a change from the steady diet of day-time television he's on. Unfortunately, he can't concentrate on reading, which sucks (this is a book house, and Al is no exception to that). We don't know if it's feasible yet, or if it means adding to the potential loan. Scary conversations about money. *sigh* Still, it would be a really good thing, I think - and means we don't have to get him a birthday present in January :)
~ Good news, though. Al's friend Andy is moving back up from Hamilton this weekend, and will be staying at our house for a few weeks until he finds a place. He's been one of the most frequent visitors Al has - slightly less often since he went to Hamilton - so it will be neat to have him back. And Ben and I really like him. We can't say that about some of Al's friends...
~ Al has hooked me on Grey's Anatomy. Dammit - like I needed a new show to be hooked on! He's seen quite a lot of it, but we've started at the beginning, so I'm getting it all in order.
~ I went to a focus group at Mercy Hospice yesterday, for caregivers. It was about respite care, and intensely interesting. Also damned scary. The people there were either in the process of caring for someone terminally ill, or had cared for someone terminally ill. And shit - it was an eye-opener. I know Al is sick - I get that. And I know he's going to die - I get that. It's what's between here and there that I hadn't really thought about. What happens when his legs stop working? If his bowels no longer behave? If he gets bed-sores? If he's so sure he's going to die overnight that someone needs to be there for him? What happens if it's a long, slow, excrutiatingly painful descent and he asks me to please just kill him? My dreams last night were full of cancer and loss (and Jack O'Neill, for some reason). Yes, see Deb freak out...
~ People keep telling me how I'm strong and doing amazing things for my brother. Somehow, I think it's been easy so far. Can I cope if it gets harder than this?
Me
~ Still have the migraine. Bad days and not-so-bad days.
~ Love life is just grand. Home life is excellent. Cats are insane.
~ I keep buying books. They're good books, though.
~ And I've been gardening. Which is scary - I hate gardening, or I have up until now. But I have been finding weeding quite theraputic. And I'm growing onion seeds. And I have wee lavender seedlings. Eep...
~ And writing a lot, but not here. Will try to be better.
Gold Coast
~ Al and I fly out on the 30th of October, with a flight late afternoon. Wow, that's getting close! Is there anyone in Auckland who cares to provide transport services to the airport in the early afternoon? Alasatyr is now unable to (pesky paid work getting in the way of being a chauffeur), and Sparky is working as well.
~ We're most excited, but still tight on the cash. Everyone has been amazing, and the BigTaz Internet-athon™ has raised just over FOUR THOUSAND DOLLARS, which is 4/5ths of our target. We are still, very happily, taking donations, and if you've been meaning to but not got around to it yet, fear not! We will accept your hard-earned monies! It scares me that I'm getting less embarrassed about asking for help in currency form. Apparently I have been doing this too long ...
~ Also, those of you who have donated but not yet told me you want a postcard, expect an email later this week asking for a snail-mail addy and your choice of illustration on correspondence-to-come.
Social
~ Cocktail party a few weeks back from Lisa's birthday was excellent, and great fun. Plus I dressed up and wore high heels and a hat. And Ben had his hair out for a change. Yum. I took photos, but suck and haven't done anything with them yet.
~ Piratical wedding weekend before last for Struan and his bride. I wore a short sun-frock, and there were lots of people in pirate clothes saying Arrrrrr. It was a really nice evening. I didn't take any photos, but lots of other people did. There are probably some around somewhere.
~ Impromptu gathering at the Wolverines on Sunday (for Tamsin's birthday) was really fun, although watching The Black Cauldron was somewhat painful. What was Disney on? Very strange stuff indeed. And Gurgi was Gollum before Gollum was ever put on screen. *shudders*
~ I am feeling intensely anti-social today, so hid in bed. That worked well. Now I don't feel quite as non-people-y.
Danny
~ Danny's memorial service sucked, frankly. Which left Al and I both quite angry. Not just us, either. Certainly it didn't feel like a memorial to us - there was no real sense of closure.
~ Danny had three important parts of his life, and none really took precendence over the others: the Catholic part, the deaf part, and the gay part. The first two were discussed and remembered and memorialised with great fervour and thanks. The final third was completely ignored. This despite a good third of the congregation (obviously) being part of the GLBT community - along with hangers-on like me. But no. The word 'gay' mentioned exactly once, with a leader in the deaf community mentioning the work Danny had done FOR the 'gay and lesbian community'. Not 'with', though. No, not with.
~ I get the feeling that Danny's sexuality, which was never particularly overt unless he was at Bear's Night at Urge, was an embarrassment to his family, and something they wished to ignore as much as possible. There wasn't even a memorial book for people to sign at the service. (We found out a few days later that there had been one at the funeral, though, along with full-colour and photograph-laden order of service, unlike the b&w printed on green paper one we got in Auckland.)
~ The next day Danny's brother, along with two other people, came to take back the car Danny had lent Al. Because it'll take three people to wrest it from Al's noodly arms... or perhaps they were afraid of catching THE GAY? So we're back to one car, temporarily.
Al
~ There's a bunch to go here.
~ Ben and I are doing the sums and discussing options regarding cars. The plan is for Al to use Selkie (my car) which he is still able to drive (it's automatic, the suspension in the front isn't too jouncy, and there's enough leg-room for him). But as I still need a car, it's time to hunt for a newer one. We'll probably get a loan and purchase from a car yard, get something that'll last me a good wee while. Although that's unlikely to happen until after we come back from holiday.
~ In the meantime, he's feeling really trapped. Even though he doesn't go out that often, when he does it has to be by car - he can't even walk to the letterbox and back. Anyone have a spare car they want to lend me until the end of the month? *looks hopeful*
~ Ben and I are also discussing getting Al a laptop and setting up a wireless LAN so he can access the internet. Make a change from the steady diet of day-time television he's on. Unfortunately, he can't concentrate on reading, which sucks (this is a book house, and Al is no exception to that). We don't know if it's feasible yet, or if it means adding to the potential loan. Scary conversations about money. *sigh* Still, it would be a really good thing, I think - and means we don't have to get him a birthday present in January :)
~ Good news, though. Al's friend Andy is moving back up from Hamilton this weekend, and will be staying at our house for a few weeks until he finds a place. He's been one of the most frequent visitors Al has - slightly less often since he went to Hamilton - so it will be neat to have him back. And Ben and I really like him. We can't say that about some of Al's friends...
~ Al has hooked me on Grey's Anatomy. Dammit - like I needed a new show to be hooked on! He's seen quite a lot of it, but we've started at the beginning, so I'm getting it all in order.
~ I went to a focus group at Mercy Hospice yesterday, for caregivers. It was about respite care, and intensely interesting. Also damned scary. The people there were either in the process of caring for someone terminally ill, or had cared for someone terminally ill. And shit - it was an eye-opener. I know Al is sick - I get that. And I know he's going to die - I get that. It's what's between here and there that I hadn't really thought about. What happens when his legs stop working? If his bowels no longer behave? If he gets bed-sores? If he's so sure he's going to die overnight that someone needs to be there for him? What happens if it's a long, slow, excrutiatingly painful descent and he asks me to please just kill him? My dreams last night were full of cancer and loss (and Jack O'Neill, for some reason). Yes, see Deb freak out...
~ People keep telling me how I'm strong and doing amazing things for my brother. Somehow, I think it's been easy so far. Can I cope if it gets harder than this?
Me
~ Still have the migraine. Bad days and not-so-bad days.
~ Love life is just grand. Home life is excellent. Cats are insane.
~ I keep buying books. They're good books, though.
~ And I've been gardening. Which is scary - I hate gardening, or I have up until now. But I have been finding weeding quite theraputic. And I'm growing onion seeds. And I have wee lavender seedlings. Eep...
~ And writing a lot, but not here. Will try to be better.