DVD Review: Open Water
If you've been waiting for me to trash a movie (a crap one, that is), then wait no longer! My review of the Open Water DVD has come out in Lucid Magazine - only in print, mind you, so if you want to read this review, either get a copy of the magazine ... or read it here!
Open Water DVD Review
© Deborah Mudie, 2005
Some people quite liked Open Water. They shivered at the sharks and the aloneness and the imminent death, and thought twice about putting their deep-sea-diving certificate to use. I was not one of those people. In my opinion (which is why you are reading this review, is it not?) this movie bites - it rips chunks out of your life, and leaves bloody gashes where your sense of masterful film-making once resided.
I had the misfortune of seeing Open Water at the movies last year, and watching it again on DVD was simply an opportunity to mock it (Even friends who love bad movies hate this one. When I said to them “I know. This evening, let’s watch Open Water,” the immediate response was a groan from all in the room. “No!” they cried. “Not that one!” Not even lovers of bad movies like this film. It is purely suck).
I hear you saying that it can’t be that bad. (“It can’t be that bad,” you say.) You remember that some of your friends like it, and that somewhere you read a positive review. Surely it is worth a try? Well - you can try it, but I really don’t recommend it. Bites. Sucks. Remember?
Basic synopsis: a couple go on holiday in the Caribbean, and decide to take a deep-sea-diving tour (at this point you get a lovely shot of Blanchard Ryan’s cleavage as she zips up her wetsuit. This is the highlight of the film). The people running the tour miscount as the divers return to the boat, and Susan and Daniel are accidentally left behind as they motor off into the sunny afternoon. No one notices that they’re missing for hours and hours, so it’s just them, the deep blue sea, the horizon - and the sharks. Cree-py.
So there’s steadily increasing fear on the part of the characters, glee on the part of the mighty ocean, amusement from the overnight storm, and escalating boredom on the part of this intrepid reviewer. Watching on the small screen does not make it any better. While some low-budget films exceed all expectations, Open Water is not one of them.
The DVD does give the viewer (provided they have any interest in this whatsoever) a few extras: additional footage; the obligatory commentaries - one by the director and the producer, and another with the two ‘stars’, Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis; and more about sharks, indie-movie-making, and the making of Open Water than you ever wanted to know. Not really all that scintillating, but often more interesting than the movie itself. But by now you’re probably figuring out that I didn’t like the film.
Is it worth buying? Hell, no. Is it worth renting? Possibly, if a friend is paying for it. But really - it’s just a waste of time. Unless you really, really, really like awful films.
‘Starring’: Daniel Travis as shark-chum, Blanchard Ryan as shark-bait, and … well, that’s about it, really.
Interesting to note that my sarcasm and nastiness-o-metre goes up when theunshaven is in the house. That can only be a good thing when it comes to a review of this nature!
Open Water DVD Review
© Deborah Mudie, 2005
Some people quite liked Open Water. They shivered at the sharks and the aloneness and the imminent death, and thought twice about putting their deep-sea-diving certificate to use. I was not one of those people. In my opinion (which is why you are reading this review, is it not?) this movie bites - it rips chunks out of your life, and leaves bloody gashes where your sense of masterful film-making once resided.
I had the misfortune of seeing Open Water at the movies last year, and watching it again on DVD was simply an opportunity to mock it (Even friends who love bad movies hate this one. When I said to them “I know. This evening, let’s watch Open Water,” the immediate response was a groan from all in the room. “No!” they cried. “Not that one!” Not even lovers of bad movies like this film. It is purely suck).
I hear you saying that it can’t be that bad. (“It can’t be that bad,” you say.) You remember that some of your friends like it, and that somewhere you read a positive review. Surely it is worth a try? Well - you can try it, but I really don’t recommend it. Bites. Sucks. Remember?
Basic synopsis: a couple go on holiday in the Caribbean, and decide to take a deep-sea-diving tour (at this point you get a lovely shot of Blanchard Ryan’s cleavage as she zips up her wetsuit. This is the highlight of the film). The people running the tour miscount as the divers return to the boat, and Susan and Daniel are accidentally left behind as they motor off into the sunny afternoon. No one notices that they’re missing for hours and hours, so it’s just them, the deep blue sea, the horizon - and the sharks. Cree-py.
So there’s steadily increasing fear on the part of the characters, glee on the part of the mighty ocean, amusement from the overnight storm, and escalating boredom on the part of this intrepid reviewer. Watching on the small screen does not make it any better. While some low-budget films exceed all expectations, Open Water is not one of them.
The DVD does give the viewer (provided they have any interest in this whatsoever) a few extras: additional footage; the obligatory commentaries - one by the director and the producer, and another with the two ‘stars’, Blanchard Ryan and Daniel Travis; and more about sharks, indie-movie-making, and the making of Open Water than you ever wanted to know. Not really all that scintillating, but often more interesting than the movie itself. But by now you’re probably figuring out that I didn’t like the film.
Is it worth buying? Hell, no. Is it worth renting? Possibly, if a friend is paying for it. But really - it’s just a waste of time. Unless you really, really, really like awful films.
‘Starring’: Daniel Travis as shark-chum, Blanchard Ryan as shark-bait, and … well, that’s about it, really.
Interesting to note that my sarcasm and nastiness-o-metre goes up when theunshaven is in the house. That can only be a good thing when it comes to a review of this nature!