(no subject)
Well, got my rejection letter from Stanford today. I can't say I am surprised although I must admit I am deeply disappointed. This means I am three notifications away from making a decision. It really won't be an easy one. My old mentors from Davis are emailing me letting me know how excited they are for me to come visit. I feel like there is so much positive energy around that place, so many good memories from my undergraduate years, a real feeling of homecoming. Not to mention research clearly in line with my own, and a care for me as an individual that I found sorely missing in my graduate experience thus far.
UCLA seems so foreign; I can't pinpoint what it was about my application that they thought fit. I can see a lot of potential but no clear match. But I know that there is a lot of room for me to grow. And maybe it is time for me to think about how I can expand as a scholar, not how I can just support what I already know and have done. Davis could support me but it could also confine me. Yet UCLA could allow me to grow in unexpected ways. Maybe it is time to move. Or maybe it is time to come home.
I suppose I should keep my mind open about the schools I am still waiting to hear back from. I just find it hard to even think about expanding out of California now that I have been offered the opportunity to be back near family and friends. Even the same time zone seems comforting.
I feel like I should be feeling a lot happier right now, so now I feel bad about feeling unhappy. Sigh.
UCLA seems so foreign; I can't pinpoint what it was about my application that they thought fit. I can see a lot of potential but no clear match. But I know that there is a lot of room for me to grow. And maybe it is time for me to think about how I can expand as a scholar, not how I can just support what I already know and have done. Davis could support me but it could also confine me. Yet UCLA could allow me to grow in unexpected ways. Maybe it is time to move. Or maybe it is time to come home.
I suppose I should keep my mind open about the schools I am still waiting to hear back from. I just find it hard to even think about expanding out of California now that I have been offered the opportunity to be back near family and friends. Even the same time zone seems comforting.
I feel like I should be feeling a lot happier right now, so now I feel bad about feeling unhappy. Sigh.