(no subject)
I don't think I've told this journal anything publicly in a year. It's a nice way to vent; and it's nice to know that if anyone was curious they could find what they needed to know about me here.
In case anyone's curious, this has been my year:
January- Start preparations for entering the Navy, basically abandoned my home to live in Richmond to be with a boy who had already declared me not worthy of being with. Had my first New Years' kiss with said boy-Justin. We had been broken up for 3 months.
February- Justin and I make plans to go out to dinner V-day. While walking to dinner I get angry at his making passes at other females, and he drives off, leaving me stranded in Carytown panicking for hours. Land a job at Gamestop.
March, April- Work at Gamestop, get promoted and move to store down the street. Meet and become friends with Michele and Chris. I decide to postpone Navy for a bit. Michele extends me invitations to hang out; I refuse due to being afraid to leave Justin.
May- I start accepting invitations from Michele to to out and socialize and meet new people. Chris and I get closer. Justin gets jealous that I'm going out, he starts drinking.. heavily. One night as I'm out Justin drinks himself stupid, then calls me 61 times in a row threatening suicide if I don't call him back. I come back in the morning to a destroyed apartment, my books and clothes torn up and my makeup splattered on the wall, and I find Justin asleep on the bathroom floor. He's still drunk. He wakes up, still angry, and he becomes physically violent. I call Chris in a panic; he manages to rush me out of my apartment. I move out of my apartment, and temporarily move in with Chris and my friend Shelby. Chris and I become intimate, and we establish a relationship.
June- Justin decides he wants to apologize, wants me back. He finds out where I'm living, then starts knocking and trying to see me. I eventually decide to accept his apology, and try to be his friend. This isn't enough, and eventually one night as we're hanging out I tell him that I'm staying with Chris and that I'm not going to to back to Justin. He breaks down into a catatonic stupor and threatens to commit suicide. I call his family, and I leave to go break down in Chris' arms. I break contact with Justin permanently and haven't talked to him since.
July-September- Nothing really too bad, just some spats with my family; etcetera. I see my best friend for the first time since early January. We do a lot of much-needed talking and crying in each other's arms.
October- I lost two favorite boys within 30 days of each other and I've never cried so fucking hard in my life. My Grandpa worked so hard to make sure my Grandmom would be okay, and then he literally let himself fall apart and and die on October 1st. He'd broken his hip, his liver failed and his lungs were consumed by cancer we never knew about; that he never told anyone about so that we wouldn't 'worry'. Then, my babydog Jeb couldn't get up anymore. We had to put him to sleep October 30th. My family is still recovering, and my Grandmother is still in shock. My Grandfather did so much for her over the years, and now we have to teach her so many things so she can function by herself. We had to teach her how to write a check.
November-December, so far- My family's been recovering from the shock of everything. Celebrated Thanksgiving with no one but Chris. Working my butt off at Gamestop.
On a lighter side, I've been with Gamestop for almost a year! Yikes. I think I'm close to getting another promotion though, which would be AWESOME. I still (mostly) love my job. I feel like I'm being spoiled since I'm working somewhere where I'm still passionate about what I'm selling, and I'm working with awesome people. Then again, my salary makes it so I haven't been able to afford much other than bills and ramen sooo there's the drawback. Hopefully when I leave, I can find somewhere with amazing co-workers still.
I've been with Chris for 7 months now. He's four years older than me, and we were born one day apart from each other. He's very serious, quiet when I'm outgoing and extremely outgoing when I'm quiet. He's the exact opposite of me, but it was about time I broke my usual 'type' and went for someone completely different. He's close to graduating with a biology degree; and we like to geek out about stupid stuff, like arguing about video games. I honestly don't know how to talk about him without feeling like an idiot, because he is just so surreal. He looks at me like a child looks at christmas morning. He is it.
It felt really good to finally pour all of that out.
In case anyone's curious, this has been my year:
January- Start preparations for entering the Navy, basically abandoned my home to live in Richmond to be with a boy who had already declared me not worthy of being with. Had my first New Years' kiss with said boy-Justin. We had been broken up for 3 months.
February- Justin and I make plans to go out to dinner V-day. While walking to dinner I get angry at his making passes at other females, and he drives off, leaving me stranded in Carytown panicking for hours. Land a job at Gamestop.
March, April- Work at Gamestop, get promoted and move to store down the street. Meet and become friends with Michele and Chris. I decide to postpone Navy for a bit. Michele extends me invitations to hang out; I refuse due to being afraid to leave Justin.
May- I start accepting invitations from Michele to to out and socialize and meet new people. Chris and I get closer. Justin gets jealous that I'm going out, he starts drinking.. heavily. One night as I'm out Justin drinks himself stupid, then calls me 61 times in a row threatening suicide if I don't call him back. I come back in the morning to a destroyed apartment, my books and clothes torn up and my makeup splattered on the wall, and I find Justin asleep on the bathroom floor. He's still drunk. He wakes up, still angry, and he becomes physically violent. I call Chris in a panic; he manages to rush me out of my apartment. I move out of my apartment, and temporarily move in with Chris and my friend Shelby. Chris and I become intimate, and we establish a relationship.
June- Justin decides he wants to apologize, wants me back. He finds out where I'm living, then starts knocking and trying to see me. I eventually decide to accept his apology, and try to be his friend. This isn't enough, and eventually one night as we're hanging out I tell him that I'm staying with Chris and that I'm not going to to back to Justin. He breaks down into a catatonic stupor and threatens to commit suicide. I call his family, and I leave to go break down in Chris' arms. I break contact with Justin permanently and haven't talked to him since.
July-September- Nothing really too bad, just some spats with my family; etcetera. I see my best friend for the first time since early January. We do a lot of much-needed talking and crying in each other's arms.
October- I lost two favorite boys within 30 days of each other and I've never cried so fucking hard in my life. My Grandpa worked so hard to make sure my Grandmom would be okay, and then he literally let himself fall apart and and die on October 1st. He'd broken his hip, his liver failed and his lungs were consumed by cancer we never knew about; that he never told anyone about so that we wouldn't 'worry'. Then, my babydog Jeb couldn't get up anymore. We had to put him to sleep October 30th. My family is still recovering, and my Grandmother is still in shock. My Grandfather did so much for her over the years, and now we have to teach her so many things so she can function by herself. We had to teach her how to write a check.
November-December, so far- My family's been recovering from the shock of everything. Celebrated Thanksgiving with no one but Chris. Working my butt off at Gamestop.
On a lighter side, I've been with Gamestop for almost a year! Yikes. I think I'm close to getting another promotion though, which would be AWESOME. I still (mostly) love my job. I feel like I'm being spoiled since I'm working somewhere where I'm still passionate about what I'm selling, and I'm working with awesome people. Then again, my salary makes it so I haven't been able to afford much other than bills and ramen sooo there's the drawback. Hopefully when I leave, I can find somewhere with amazing co-workers still.
I've been with Chris for 7 months now. He's four years older than me, and we were born one day apart from each other. He's very serious, quiet when I'm outgoing and extremely outgoing when I'm quiet. He's the exact opposite of me, but it was about time I broke my usual 'type' and went for someone completely different. He's close to graduating with a biology degree; and we like to geek out about stupid stuff, like arguing about video games. I honestly don't know how to talk about him without feeling like an idiot, because he is just so surreal. He looks at me like a child looks at christmas morning. He is it.
It felt really good to finally pour all of that out.