(no subject)
Dear Matty,
I had such a great night. There is just so much I wanted to tell you in such a little time and I just didn't know how to do it. It was sooooo good to see you, hear your voice, hug you ..and know your ok. You probably know now that this whole fight thing hit me pretty hard.I would sit in my room and replay this one part of the movie "Cinderella Story" that the boy best friend is there for the girl best friend, and just cry. I wasn't crying because you weren't there for me, I was crying because I wanted you there for me more than anything. Not for the big things, but just for the every day life things. The day I did my first shift at boston pizza and i was so utterly nervous. All I wanted to do was call you and tell you everything went well and hear you say " Debby I'm so proud of you!" like you always would. The day I bought my new convertible, all I kept thinking about was driving around with you. Just talking and... catching up, because no one listens like you. I've come to realise that there is a lot of stuff on our plates. You have your life, which is pretty crazy. And well, I have mine. We're both really busy, we both got different lives ahead of us. It isn't going to be easy, but there are just people in your life that you know you are meant to be friensd with. To be honest, if you weren't in my life I think I would go crazy. This one day, I went to go refer to you when I was telling a story and I was like " My best friend Matt... wait.. my friend.. i mean.. Matt." It was like I didn't know what to call you, I knew you were mad at me and I didn't know what to do because all I kept thinking about was how stupid I was. But that's just the thing, this isn't going to be easy. You have your friends, and I have mine. You have your band, and I have my 2 jobs. It's going to be so hectic in the summer. I think we became too dependant on eachother. I couldn't stand when I didn't get a call from you, I wasn't mad I was just so used to hearing your voice. Matt, as hard as it is for me to admit this. I hated school, I loved some of my friends, but all and all i hated being away from home, I hated school, and I just hated getting fat lol. But when you called at night it was the only reason that I stayed alive. The reason I woke up in the morning. That's something that I can NEVER repay you for, because I can sit here and think of ways.. but nothing will ever be good enough. Matt, our friendship might never be easy. It never has and it never will. But for you, I'm willing to do anything. I owe you the world, I owe you a whole year of support, I owe you my heart.
It is impossible to find a friend like you. When I lost you this past few weeks, I went insane. I was constantly depressed... sad, lonely. The only thing I kept saying was how I wanted to hear your voice.
Why am I telling you this?
I haven't quite figured it out. But when I was sitting in my car all alone tonight I just thought about it. I thought you should know because you usually appreciate my ramblings.
I want to be your punching bag.
I want you to know that i'm willing to change to be what you want in me..
I found this message you sent me a while ago that I thought you should read...
I said, "Last night, was so great, beyond great.. i actually fell asleep in my best friend in the entire worlds arms... for most people they dont understand the realty of a best friend of the opposite sex. probably because for the most part, the only time girls are with guys are when they are dating them. for me, he is the best part of my day... i seriously don't think i could have gotten by without him. on top of that, it's almost as scary to think of losing someone like him because it would amount to a breakup only twenty times worse. it almost scares me to a certain extent."
and you replied:
"Awww Debbie you are my best friend. And I don't know where I would be without you in my life. I would have gone through some crazy relationship crisis break-down lol. Your the only one who keeps my sanity when it comes to love. As a hopeless romantic myself I can promise you that you will find yourself that guy who have spent your entire life searching for. He's out there. Its just not your time to meet him yet. But when it is you will know its right, and I will have a good gut feeling about him lol. Thats what hopeless romantics do though. They still believe that the perfect romance is out there even after the amount of times they've been hurt. We have to believe in something. And if we can't believe that love treuly exisits than what can we believe in? As for me, I wounder if my true love is out there. I would like to think so and I continue to believe. Cause if I believe that there is one perfect romance for you, than there has to be one for me too.
All the love:
Matty"
<3 I think all in all, I just wanted you to know that i missed you. and regardless of our stature.. and our past. I love you. Know that I know things aren't going to go back to the way they used to be. But also know that i'm okay with that. Your happiness means alot to me, and you know that I would do anything to make you happy. Our friendship is one of those things you have to want to work at. If you don't, then it just can't work.
I seriously don't know what I would have done with out you.
and I don't intend on letting you go now.
All of my love,
Deb
I had such a great night. There is just so much I wanted to tell you in such a little time and I just didn't know how to do it. It was sooooo good to see you, hear your voice, hug you ..and know your ok. You probably know now that this whole fight thing hit me pretty hard.I would sit in my room and replay this one part of the movie "Cinderella Story" that the boy best friend is there for the girl best friend, and just cry. I wasn't crying because you weren't there for me, I was crying because I wanted you there for me more than anything. Not for the big things, but just for the every day life things. The day I did my first shift at boston pizza and i was so utterly nervous. All I wanted to do was call you and tell you everything went well and hear you say " Debby I'm so proud of you!" like you always would. The day I bought my new convertible, all I kept thinking about was driving around with you. Just talking and... catching up, because no one listens like you. I've come to realise that there is a lot of stuff on our plates. You have your life, which is pretty crazy. And well, I have mine. We're both really busy, we both got different lives ahead of us. It isn't going to be easy, but there are just people in your life that you know you are meant to be friensd with. To be honest, if you weren't in my life I think I would go crazy. This one day, I went to go refer to you when I was telling a story and I was like " My best friend Matt... wait.. my friend.. i mean.. Matt." It was like I didn't know what to call you, I knew you were mad at me and I didn't know what to do because all I kept thinking about was how stupid I was. But that's just the thing, this isn't going to be easy. You have your friends, and I have mine. You have your band, and I have my 2 jobs. It's going to be so hectic in the summer. I think we became too dependant on eachother. I couldn't stand when I didn't get a call from you, I wasn't mad I was just so used to hearing your voice. Matt, as hard as it is for me to admit this. I hated school, I loved some of my friends, but all and all i hated being away from home, I hated school, and I just hated getting fat lol. But when you called at night it was the only reason that I stayed alive. The reason I woke up in the morning. That's something that I can NEVER repay you for, because I can sit here and think of ways.. but nothing will ever be good enough. Matt, our friendship might never be easy. It never has and it never will. But for you, I'm willing to do anything. I owe you the world, I owe you a whole year of support, I owe you my heart.
It is impossible to find a friend like you. When I lost you this past few weeks, I went insane. I was constantly depressed... sad, lonely. The only thing I kept saying was how I wanted to hear your voice.
Why am I telling you this?
I haven't quite figured it out. But when I was sitting in my car all alone tonight I just thought about it. I thought you should know because you usually appreciate my ramblings.
I want to be your punching bag.
I want you to know that i'm willing to change to be what you want in me..
I found this message you sent me a while ago that I thought you should read...
I said, "Last night, was so great, beyond great.. i actually fell asleep in my best friend in the entire worlds arms... for most people they dont understand the realty of a best friend of the opposite sex. probably because for the most part, the only time girls are with guys are when they are dating them. for me, he is the best part of my day... i seriously don't think i could have gotten by without him. on top of that, it's almost as scary to think of losing someone like him because it would amount to a breakup only twenty times worse. it almost scares me to a certain extent."
and you replied:
"Awww Debbie you are my best friend. And I don't know where I would be without you in my life. I would have gone through some crazy relationship crisis break-down lol. Your the only one who keeps my sanity when it comes to love. As a hopeless romantic myself I can promise you that you will find yourself that guy who have spent your entire life searching for. He's out there. Its just not your time to meet him yet. But when it is you will know its right, and I will have a good gut feeling about him lol. Thats what hopeless romantics do though. They still believe that the perfect romance is out there even after the amount of times they've been hurt. We have to believe in something. And if we can't believe that love treuly exisits than what can we believe in? As for me, I wounder if my true love is out there. I would like to think so and I continue to believe. Cause if I believe that there is one perfect romance for you, than there has to be one for me too.
All the love:
Matty"
<3 I think all in all, I just wanted you to know that i missed you. and regardless of our stature.. and our past. I love you. Know that I know things aren't going to go back to the way they used to be. But also know that i'm okay with that. Your happiness means alot to me, and you know that I would do anything to make you happy. Our friendship is one of those things you have to want to work at. If you don't, then it just can't work.
I seriously don't know what I would have done with out you.
and I don't intend on letting you go now.
All of my love,
Deb