been afraid
I am afraid.
I had this life that was okay & decent. tolerable for the most part. if I could just be okay with things. if I could just work on myself. if I could pretend hard enough. it could have been good. I don't know what happenend but I can't do it anymore. I can't pretend that everything is good. I can't pretend that I am good. good is all we can really hope for. I thought.
so it's done. and I am glad it is done. if I could go back and do things differently, I definitely would.
I am scared.
I am going to be moving back home into my parents' house shortly. it is supposed to be a temporary situation. it always is, isn't it?
I am terrified.
I'm afraid that I am going to be one of those people who is 30. who is 40 and still living at home with their parents. I hate that. I hate that this seems like a very possible future.
if I could just. if I could unlock it in my mind. what am I supposed to do?
I have no hopes.
I have no dreams.
I have no aspirations.
what do I do with that?
where do I go?
where do I go in life?
I am 24 years old and I haven't the slightest clue.
I am 24 years old and I am still a boy.
I'm still a boy who has no idea.
I've figured that I am just another sorry case destined for a life of less than or equal to mediocrity.
am I?
it seems so real right now.
I don't like this.
Posted via LiveJournal.app.