Prince Harry's Popularity Serves Strategic Purpose in Afghanistan
LONDON - Prince Harry has been serving on the front line in Afghanistan with the British Army, where he is proving to be fantastically effective calling in air strikes on Taliban positions, the Ministry of Defense announced Thursday.
“Harry has been enormously popular among the troops with which he serves,” said General Richard James, head of army operations in Afghanistan. “We’ve got him working with a highly trained, elite force of double agents in our secret service. Whenever we inform these agents where Harry is supposedly located, it never fails to flush out dozens of Taliban from their roving bases. They rush to the spot, and then blow themselves up, saving us the trouble. Not only do we have the strategic advantage, but since Harry arrived, we’ve never been late for tea.”
The prince has also endeared himself to his fellows by enduring the same Persian language tongue twisters as everyone else in his battle group, successfully pronouncing words such as ‘Halwaua-e-Aurd-e-Sujee,’ ‘chapli kabobs’ and 'Kadu Bouranee.'
“Harry is just mucking in as one of the lads here, doing all the things the rest of his troop does,” said Jeremy Elgar, who serves alongside Harry in the Blues and Royals regiment. “We’ve had royalty in our group before, of course. The last one acted as if he was the bloody King of England, but not Harry. And he’s talented too. You’d think Harry had been fighting Voldemort his whole life.”
Harry’s involvement has also been a boon to geography students worldwide. Afghanistan is now easily identified as the tiny war-ravaged Middle Eastern country that has Harry in it, not one of those other ones. His popularity is so high right now, he could single-handedly help transform the country’s economic base from opium to tourism, at least for a few months this summer, when he encourages others to join him at the annual folk music series, the Minaret of Jam.