Fic: Blame
Was actually quite fun writing for Carver and surprisingly easy. I'm always wary now, I'm out of practice for writing NPCs, haven't done since I wrote Legacy of Kain fics and that was a long time ago. I keep thinking they'll end up wildly out of character and I'll make a complete backside of it. So hopefully I've not done too badly with Carver.
Title: Blame
Fandom: Dragon Age 2
Characters: Carver, M!Hawke
Warnings: Slight swearing and spoilers for All That Remains.
Summary: A second part to this: The One Who Never Grieves. Emotions run high when Carver finds out what has happened to Leandra.
It's a sinking feeling, the gut reaction that something is seriously wrong when Uncle Gamlen comes to find him.
It should've been his mother coming to see him, this was her normal day for visiting. Gamlen never came to visit, not since they moved out of his house and August bought the Amell estate for Mother. Show off git. Still, it made her happy at least, who was he to argue with that?
Gamlen asks to see him alone, that sinking feeling grows worse. Perhaps Mother is just ill, that's why she's not there and Uncle Gamlen is. But surely it would've been August to tell him that. No, there has to be something wrong, and as he finds a quiet part of the Gallows where they won't be disturbed, he begins to dread just what Gamlen has to tell him.
"Your mother's dead. I'm sorry, lad..." Of all the things Carver thought it could've been, this was the last. He doesn't hear any more after that. Mother is dead. His mother is gone. His only family left is his brother and uncle and when was the last time he saw or spoke to his brother? August avoids the Gallows as much as he can these days, ever since he took up with that mage. Perhaps that's a good thing.
He doesn't want to believe this news, it can't be true. His brother wouldn't have let anything happen to her. He couldn't have. He swore after Bethany, they wouldn't lose anyone else, he promised. He wouldn't have let anything hurt their mother.
"I have to see him, where is my brother?" he says, finally finding his voice.
Gamlen however shakes his head. "Give it a while lad. Give your brother some time."
His uncle pats his shoulder, awkwardly, somewhat, it's Mother who normally does this sort of thing, then he leaves. Carver goes to see Knight Captain Cullen after this, Meredith still scares the piss out of him. Perhaps not so much as she used to, but still enough that he doesn't much fancy the idea of asking her for time away. Cullen grants it without hesitation, he's grateful for that. He heads back to his quarters to gather some things together then heads to the estate, not home, it'll never be home to him, for the first time in four years.
~
August isn't there. He isn't anywhere and hasn't been since Mother had been killed. Typical, the very time he needs to see his brother, he's nowhere to be found. Completely typical of August to do this.
Carver stays at the estate, the first time he's been there since they snuck in through the basement to find the will for Mother. It's large, empty, too big for him. He wouldn't have liked it. Damian is at least here and the dog recognises him, despite his absence. The dwarf, Bodahn, offers the spare room for him and he accepts. It surely can't take too long for his brother to return to the house.
He explores the house, has a snoop through August's journal, Maker is it boring. His brother never did have any imagination. It's nice enough, what they've done. He finds the mage, Anders', things here and there. So, he's moved in. He wondered how long that would take, given how much time his brother spent flirting with the mage. It was rather sickening to watch, the two of them pining for each other, bad enough when Bethany had that crush back in Lothering.
He discovers another room made up, which he finds out is for a servant his brother has employed. Not his place to question. His mother's room he avoids completely. He still can't believe she's gone, still doesn't really believe she's gone. He has to hear it from his brother, has to know what happened.
His brother however, doesn't appear. August avoids the estate the entire time that Carver is there and he hears not a whisper about a funeral. He returns to the Gallows, fed up of waiting, and simply visits the estate once a day.
His brother doesn't return to it until over a week later and it's by sheer chance that Carver gets there in time to catch him. The mage and his brother are just about to leave and August halts when he approaches.
"Carver," he says.
"Hello brother," he answers. He sends a quick nod to Anders, if only out of politeness. "Uncle Gamlen told me about mother."
August sighs. "He said he would. I suppose you want to know what happened."
"That would be nice." He stops short of saying more.
"We'll go to the study then, get peace there."
Anders looks as if he's going to protest, but doesn't. "You know where to find me," is all he says and leaves them alone.
August gestures and Carver follows him. "Bodahn said you'd been here earlier this week," he says, by way of conversation starter.
Carver nods. "You weren't here. And why is that dwarf here, anyway?"
"Mother's idea. He came with us during the expedition."
"And so Mother suggested he stay here."
August nods. "His son does enchanting, rather good at it."
It's small talk, something just to break the silence. He's not really interested in the dwarf and his brother has no interest in telling him. They reach the study, August offers the chair, Carver shakes his head.
"It might be an idea for you to sit down," his brother tells him.
"How much worse can it get? Mother is dead and you seem damn determined to keep how it happened to yourself," he answers with a scowl. He's tired of dancing around the subject, he wants to know.
August doesn't rise to it. He looks away, can't meet his eye, and stays silent for a moment. "It was a mage..."
Now why doesn't that surprise him, Carver can't help but think bitterly, it seems nothing changes.
His brother looks back to him and continues. "You remember those murders we looked into and found that Templar? Emeric."
Carver nods. "I heard he turned up dead. Should've guessed you were involved somehow."
"Carver."
"Oh what? It's true. You just have to get involved in everything."
"He asked me to look into it. How was I to know that would happen?" August blows out a breath. "That's not the point. Well, it is. The same mage killed Emeric as he did Mother. He got too close...and he paid for it."
Carver stays quiet.
"We dealt with that, got back here, found Mother was missing and someone had sent her white lilies."
"What, like those other women?"
August nods.
He almost doesn't want to know now. He's still quiet, still letting his brother continue.
"By the time we got back to that Foundry, he'd already...Mother was...gone," August stops and swallows hard.
"That's it? You got there, she was dead? So why wouldn't you tell Uncle Gamlen?" Carver scowls at his brother, there's something he's not telling him and if this is some half arsed idea of protecting him, August can forget it. He doesn't need protecting any more.
"Carver you don't want to..."
"Yes, brother, I do."
August scowls back at him. "Fine. Fine. She looked like the killer's dead wife, he cut off Mother's head and stitched it onto another woman's body. Used his magic to reanimate the corpse...corpses."
This time Carver does sit down. He feels as if the wind has been knocked out of him, his knees weak and his armour all too heavy. He stares into the fire.
"That's why I didn't tell Uncle Gamlen...I...couldn't..."
"Why didn't you watch her more closely? You were meant to be looking after her!" Carver yells and stands up from the chair again.
"You don't think I haven't been thinking the very same thing? That I know it's my fault she's gone?"
"At least you admit it this time. Not like Bethany." That remark he instantly regrets, especially when he sees the way his brother's face crumple, all anger fading in a moment. "Brother, I didn't mean..."
The anger returns once more. "I told you I carried the weight of everyone I've failed. You still want it, Carver? By all means, fucking take it!"
"Doing that doesn't bring either of them back!"
For a minute, Carver thinks August is going to hit him. He steps back, steels himself. August glares at him.
"Going to try some of your new Templar tricks on me?" he spits.
His brother might as well have hit him. The thought that his brother would ask him that. Maker, have they really gone this far?
He scowls and doesn't answer, sitting back down in the chair.
They're getting nowhere, going round in circles, swinging between anger, the need to blame someone and upset. August has turned away from him again, seldom has Carver seen his brother so angry.
"I take it the mage is dead then," he says.
August nods.
"You said we wouldn't lose anyone else. It's just us now."
"Are you going to blame me for that too? Making a promise I couldn't keep."
Carver shakes his head. "Mother...wouldn't want us fighting like this."
August snorts quietly. "She never did. And now she's not here to pull us apart."
He simply nods.
"You staying here then?" he asks and glances over.
"That's the plan anyway. I have Anders here but it's still too..." August answers and trails off, unable to find the right words.
"Empty. Seems awfully big for just two people."
His brother shrugs. "Mother liked it."
He sighs. "It was her home, brother. Not ours."
"You still think that then?"
He nods. "I do. Lothering, Ferelden, that's home. At least we were all together there."
August doesn't say anything.
He stands up from the chair and walks over to the small staircase. He stops at the bottom of it, looks over his shoulder to August.
"I suppose I'll see you around. Or something."
August raises an eyebrow and folds his arms. "What, you're making me visit you? When you've hardly shown your face here?"
Carver sighs. "Brother."
"All right, all right." The brief amount of August's usual levity is gone. "Look after yourself Carver."
"And you, August."
Carver leaves the estate, heads back to the Gallows. He thinks of his brother in that estate, without their mother and thinks he should probably make more of an effort to see him, attempt to speak to him without it descending into a fight. Perhaps that's the only thing to come of their mother's death, it might bring them together at last. Or drive them further apart. He has to try. If nothing else, he resolves that much.
Constructive criticism appreciated.
Title: Blame
Fandom: Dragon Age 2
Characters: Carver, M!Hawke
Warnings: Slight swearing and spoilers for All That Remains.
Summary: A second part to this: The One Who Never Grieves. Emotions run high when Carver finds out what has happened to Leandra.
It's a sinking feeling, the gut reaction that something is seriously wrong when Uncle Gamlen comes to find him.
It should've been his mother coming to see him, this was her normal day for visiting. Gamlen never came to visit, not since they moved out of his house and August bought the Amell estate for Mother. Show off git. Still, it made her happy at least, who was he to argue with that?
Gamlen asks to see him alone, that sinking feeling grows worse. Perhaps Mother is just ill, that's why she's not there and Uncle Gamlen is. But surely it would've been August to tell him that. No, there has to be something wrong, and as he finds a quiet part of the Gallows where they won't be disturbed, he begins to dread just what Gamlen has to tell him.
"Your mother's dead. I'm sorry, lad..." Of all the things Carver thought it could've been, this was the last. He doesn't hear any more after that. Mother is dead. His mother is gone. His only family left is his brother and uncle and when was the last time he saw or spoke to his brother? August avoids the Gallows as much as he can these days, ever since he took up with that mage. Perhaps that's a good thing.
He doesn't want to believe this news, it can't be true. His brother wouldn't have let anything happen to her. He couldn't have. He swore after Bethany, they wouldn't lose anyone else, he promised. He wouldn't have let anything hurt their mother.
"I have to see him, where is my brother?" he says, finally finding his voice.
Gamlen however shakes his head. "Give it a while lad. Give your brother some time."
His uncle pats his shoulder, awkwardly, somewhat, it's Mother who normally does this sort of thing, then he leaves. Carver goes to see Knight Captain Cullen after this, Meredith still scares the piss out of him. Perhaps not so much as she used to, but still enough that he doesn't much fancy the idea of asking her for time away. Cullen grants it without hesitation, he's grateful for that. He heads back to his quarters to gather some things together then heads to the estate, not home, it'll never be home to him, for the first time in four years.
~
August isn't there. He isn't anywhere and hasn't been since Mother had been killed. Typical, the very time he needs to see his brother, he's nowhere to be found. Completely typical of August to do this.
Carver stays at the estate, the first time he's been there since they snuck in through the basement to find the will for Mother. It's large, empty, too big for him. He wouldn't have liked it. Damian is at least here and the dog recognises him, despite his absence. The dwarf, Bodahn, offers the spare room for him and he accepts. It surely can't take too long for his brother to return to the house.
He explores the house, has a snoop through August's journal, Maker is it boring. His brother never did have any imagination. It's nice enough, what they've done. He finds the mage, Anders', things here and there. So, he's moved in. He wondered how long that would take, given how much time his brother spent flirting with the mage. It was rather sickening to watch, the two of them pining for each other, bad enough when Bethany had that crush back in Lothering.
He discovers another room made up, which he finds out is for a servant his brother has employed. Not his place to question. His mother's room he avoids completely. He still can't believe she's gone, still doesn't really believe she's gone. He has to hear it from his brother, has to know what happened.
His brother however, doesn't appear. August avoids the estate the entire time that Carver is there and he hears not a whisper about a funeral. He returns to the Gallows, fed up of waiting, and simply visits the estate once a day.
His brother doesn't return to it until over a week later and it's by sheer chance that Carver gets there in time to catch him. The mage and his brother are just about to leave and August halts when he approaches.
"Carver," he says.
"Hello brother," he answers. He sends a quick nod to Anders, if only out of politeness. "Uncle Gamlen told me about mother."
August sighs. "He said he would. I suppose you want to know what happened."
"That would be nice." He stops short of saying more.
"We'll go to the study then, get peace there."
Anders looks as if he's going to protest, but doesn't. "You know where to find me," is all he says and leaves them alone.
August gestures and Carver follows him. "Bodahn said you'd been here earlier this week," he says, by way of conversation starter.
Carver nods. "You weren't here. And why is that dwarf here, anyway?"
"Mother's idea. He came with us during the expedition."
"And so Mother suggested he stay here."
August nods. "His son does enchanting, rather good at it."
It's small talk, something just to break the silence. He's not really interested in the dwarf and his brother has no interest in telling him. They reach the study, August offers the chair, Carver shakes his head.
"It might be an idea for you to sit down," his brother tells him.
"How much worse can it get? Mother is dead and you seem damn determined to keep how it happened to yourself," he answers with a scowl. He's tired of dancing around the subject, he wants to know.
August doesn't rise to it. He looks away, can't meet his eye, and stays silent for a moment. "It was a mage..."
Now why doesn't that surprise him, Carver can't help but think bitterly, it seems nothing changes.
His brother looks back to him and continues. "You remember those murders we looked into and found that Templar? Emeric."
Carver nods. "I heard he turned up dead. Should've guessed you were involved somehow."
"Carver."
"Oh what? It's true. You just have to get involved in everything."
"He asked me to look into it. How was I to know that would happen?" August blows out a breath. "That's not the point. Well, it is. The same mage killed Emeric as he did Mother. He got too close...and he paid for it."
Carver stays quiet.
"We dealt with that, got back here, found Mother was missing and someone had sent her white lilies."
"What, like those other women?"
August nods.
He almost doesn't want to know now. He's still quiet, still letting his brother continue.
"By the time we got back to that Foundry, he'd already...Mother was...gone," August stops and swallows hard.
"That's it? You got there, she was dead? So why wouldn't you tell Uncle Gamlen?" Carver scowls at his brother, there's something he's not telling him and if this is some half arsed idea of protecting him, August can forget it. He doesn't need protecting any more.
"Carver you don't want to..."
"Yes, brother, I do."
August scowls back at him. "Fine. Fine. She looked like the killer's dead wife, he cut off Mother's head and stitched it onto another woman's body. Used his magic to reanimate the corpse...corpses."
This time Carver does sit down. He feels as if the wind has been knocked out of him, his knees weak and his armour all too heavy. He stares into the fire.
"That's why I didn't tell Uncle Gamlen...I...couldn't..."
"Why didn't you watch her more closely? You were meant to be looking after her!" Carver yells and stands up from the chair again.
"You don't think I haven't been thinking the very same thing? That I know it's my fault she's gone?"
"At least you admit it this time. Not like Bethany." That remark he instantly regrets, especially when he sees the way his brother's face crumple, all anger fading in a moment. "Brother, I didn't mean..."
The anger returns once more. "I told you I carried the weight of everyone I've failed. You still want it, Carver? By all means, fucking take it!"
"Doing that doesn't bring either of them back!"
For a minute, Carver thinks August is going to hit him. He steps back, steels himself. August glares at him.
"Going to try some of your new Templar tricks on me?" he spits.
His brother might as well have hit him. The thought that his brother would ask him that. Maker, have they really gone this far?
He scowls and doesn't answer, sitting back down in the chair.
They're getting nowhere, going round in circles, swinging between anger, the need to blame someone and upset. August has turned away from him again, seldom has Carver seen his brother so angry.
"I take it the mage is dead then," he says.
August nods.
"You said we wouldn't lose anyone else. It's just us now."
"Are you going to blame me for that too? Making a promise I couldn't keep."
Carver shakes his head. "Mother...wouldn't want us fighting like this."
August snorts quietly. "She never did. And now she's not here to pull us apart."
He simply nods.
"You staying here then?" he asks and glances over.
"That's the plan anyway. I have Anders here but it's still too..." August answers and trails off, unable to find the right words.
"Empty. Seems awfully big for just two people."
His brother shrugs. "Mother liked it."
He sighs. "It was her home, brother. Not ours."
"You still think that then?"
He nods. "I do. Lothering, Ferelden, that's home. At least we were all together there."
August doesn't say anything.
He stands up from the chair and walks over to the small staircase. He stops at the bottom of it, looks over his shoulder to August.
"I suppose I'll see you around. Or something."
August raises an eyebrow and folds his arms. "What, you're making me visit you? When you've hardly shown your face here?"
Carver sighs. "Brother."
"All right, all right." The brief amount of August's usual levity is gone. "Look after yourself Carver."
"And you, August."
Carver leaves the estate, heads back to the Gallows. He thinks of his brother in that estate, without their mother and thinks he should probably make more of an effort to see him, attempt to speak to him without it descending into a fight. Perhaps that's the only thing to come of their mother's death, it might bring them together at last. Or drive them further apart. He has to try. If nothing else, he resolves that much.
Constructive criticism appreciated.