Even More Fic
I don't know why I'm suddenly brimming with ideas for DA fics. Between this plot bunny wouldn't let me go, wanting to write something for Carver and something longer for Anders and Hawke based on this song: Over My Head, mainly the line "I'm losing you and it's effortless".
I tried to deviate from the in-game dialogue, though I did end up going back to some lines when I got stuck. Still, it's done, it's surprisingly short compared to how my DA fics normally go i.e spanning out of control and hopefully not too horrendous.
Title: The End
Fandom: Dragon Age 2
Characters: M!Mage Hawke/Anders
Summary: Just what does one do when their lover incites a war?
The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.- Flannery O'Connor
The Chantry is gone, they are surrounded by the bodies of Templars and Sebastian is seething.
"Well? What are you waiting for?" Sebastian says.
August Hawke shakes his head and turns away from Anders. "I'm not killing him."
"Hawke, you can't let him live. Not after what he's done."
"Yes, I can."
With that one statement, Sebastian flies into a rage. "No. You cannot let this abomination live or I am returning to Starkhaven." He narrows his eyes and steps closer to Hawke. "And I will bring such an army on my return that there will be nothing left of Kirkwall for these maleficarum to rule."
Hawke glares back. "Then go Sebastian."
Sebastian falters, then steps back. "I'll not fight you Hawke." He sighs. "But I swear to you, I will come back and find your precious Anders. I will teach him the meaning of true justice."
Hawke's glare grows colder and he takes a step toward Sebastian. "If you come back to find Anders, you'll find me with him. And I will not let you harm him."
Sebastian turns and leaves, leaving Kirkwall and Hawke behind.
It feels like hours when Hawke finally faces Anders. Sebastian is gone, no great loss, he thinks, they were never on the greatest of terms anyway. If the prince stays true to his word of raising an army against Kirkwall, well, they fought Qunari, they dealt with them, they can deal with anything.
What Hawke can't deal with is this, is Anders sitting on a crate at the foot of the Chantry - Chantry remains - staring at the space in front of him. He doesn't know what to feel, anger, betrayal, hurt, something else entirely. What does one do when his lover does something like this? What can one do? He's already defended him against Sebastian's wrath, already made up his mind that Anders will not die. The temptation is there however, gnawing at him. To shake him, ask him what the hell he thought he could accomplish. But he won't. He won't do any of that because he loves him. And that's perhaps what makes it hurt the most.
He moves toward the crate, paces, agitated, behind Anders. The mage doesn't turn, doesn't react, simply stares. Hawke heaves a deep sigh and looks down.
"Move over," he tells Anders.
Anders obeys without a word and Hawke sits down behind him.
"Did that spirit tell you to do this?" He glances over his shoulder, still Anders won't look at him. He turns back.
"No." He feels Anders lean forward, the pressure at his back gone. "When we merged, he ceased to be. We are one now."
With that, Hawke feels sick to his stomach. He looks to the Chantry again, the anger returns, guilt follows. Why hadn't he seen this coming? They'd been together, lived together for three years and he couldn't have predicted it. Not until the non-existent potion to get rid of Anders's spirit passenger. All those people that died in there...He feels weight of their deaths and thinks the blood is on his hands as much as Anders's.
"There's nothing you can say that I haven't already said to myself," Anders says quietly.
"Oh, really? I find that hard to believe," he snaps. Anger, right, stick with anger, lest the guilt and despair take over.
Anders sighs softly, leaning back against him. "I took a spirit into my soul and changed myself forever to achieve this. This is the justice all mages have been waiting for."
Hawke stiffens. "Justice? You call this 'justice'?!" He whirls around to face Anders now. There are a hundred and one things running through his head then and he doesn't know what to say. "It's as Orsino said, you've doomed mages for this, we'll be feared more than ever now. How is that freedom?"
Anders snorts. "I had thought you of all people would understand." He faces him finally. "I'm trying to change a world, can't you see that?" Anders turns away again. "They use fear to bludgeon us into submission, and we let them. That can't go on."
Hawke turns away as well, glaring at the ground as he leans forward. "Oh of course I wouldn't understand. I've only been supporting your cause, putting up with your ranting and playing second to that damned manifesto of yours. I understand nothing!"
"Well I'm sorry my cause has been such an inconvenience to you." Anders sighs. "Just...do whatever you're going to do. I don't expect to walk away with my life, despite you defending me against Sebastian."
Hawke grits his teeth and he can feel tears prick the corners of his eyes. That's right Hawke, your lover blows up a building, you have a domestic in the middle of the street in front of all your friends. Perfect solution, his mind so unhelpfully provides.
"I might've understood if you'd told me," he tells Anders, still glaring at the ground. It sounds petulant, his anger burnt out, now fading to the despair again. But he has to try, just one more time, one more time to get his head around Anders's reasoning.
"I wanted to. But what if you tried to stop me? Or worse, if you wanted to help? I couldn't let you," Anders answers. Hawke feels Anders's hand bump against his thigh, he ignores it.
"So you lie to me instead."
"I was trying to protect you!"
Hawke puts his hands over his face and feels like screaming. He takes a few calming breaths and sits up straight. "I'm not going to kill you Anders," he tells him and reaches back, taking his hand, giving it a small squeeze.
Anders turns around, still holding Hawke's hand, his eyebrows raised. "But?"
Still Hawke doesn't look at him. He squeezes Anders's hand again then stands up, letting it go. "I can't have you here. I...Just go."
Anders stares down at his hand and nods. He doesn't argue, that cuts deep, and he stands up from the box. "Thank you for my life. I'll try not to make such a mess of it this time."
"You do that."
Hawke walks over to the rest of the group. He doesn't look back, doesn't dare. He knows if he does, he'll run back to Anders, run away from the chaos and leave the mages and the Templars to fight it out themselves.
"Hawke?" Varric's voice brings him back to reality.
"I'm fine," he answers, quickly, without much conviction to it.
Varric doesn't believe it for a moment. He simply sighs, gives a short nod. "Of course you are Hawke."
Constructive criticism appreciated as always.
I tried to deviate from the in-game dialogue, though I did end up going back to some lines when I got stuck. Still, it's done, it's surprisingly short compared to how my DA fics normally go i.e spanning out of control and hopefully not too horrendous.
Title: The End
Fandom: Dragon Age 2
Characters: M!Mage Hawke/Anders
Summary: Just what does one do when their lover incites a war?
The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.- Flannery O'Connor
The Chantry is gone, they are surrounded by the bodies of Templars and Sebastian is seething.
"Well? What are you waiting for?" Sebastian says.
August Hawke shakes his head and turns away from Anders. "I'm not killing him."
"Hawke, you can't let him live. Not after what he's done."
"Yes, I can."
With that one statement, Sebastian flies into a rage. "No. You cannot let this abomination live or I am returning to Starkhaven." He narrows his eyes and steps closer to Hawke. "And I will bring such an army on my return that there will be nothing left of Kirkwall for these maleficarum to rule."
Hawke glares back. "Then go Sebastian."
Sebastian falters, then steps back. "I'll not fight you Hawke." He sighs. "But I swear to you, I will come back and find your precious Anders. I will teach him the meaning of true justice."
Hawke's glare grows colder and he takes a step toward Sebastian. "If you come back to find Anders, you'll find me with him. And I will not let you harm him."
Sebastian turns and leaves, leaving Kirkwall and Hawke behind.
It feels like hours when Hawke finally faces Anders. Sebastian is gone, no great loss, he thinks, they were never on the greatest of terms anyway. If the prince stays true to his word of raising an army against Kirkwall, well, they fought Qunari, they dealt with them, they can deal with anything.
What Hawke can't deal with is this, is Anders sitting on a crate at the foot of the Chantry - Chantry remains - staring at the space in front of him. He doesn't know what to feel, anger, betrayal, hurt, something else entirely. What does one do when his lover does something like this? What can one do? He's already defended him against Sebastian's wrath, already made up his mind that Anders will not die. The temptation is there however, gnawing at him. To shake him, ask him what the hell he thought he could accomplish. But he won't. He won't do any of that because he loves him. And that's perhaps what makes it hurt the most.
He moves toward the crate, paces, agitated, behind Anders. The mage doesn't turn, doesn't react, simply stares. Hawke heaves a deep sigh and looks down.
"Move over," he tells Anders.
Anders obeys without a word and Hawke sits down behind him.
"Did that spirit tell you to do this?" He glances over his shoulder, still Anders won't look at him. He turns back.
"No." He feels Anders lean forward, the pressure at his back gone. "When we merged, he ceased to be. We are one now."
With that, Hawke feels sick to his stomach. He looks to the Chantry again, the anger returns, guilt follows. Why hadn't he seen this coming? They'd been together, lived together for three years and he couldn't have predicted it. Not until the non-existent potion to get rid of Anders's spirit passenger. All those people that died in there...He feels weight of their deaths and thinks the blood is on his hands as much as Anders's.
"There's nothing you can say that I haven't already said to myself," Anders says quietly.
"Oh, really? I find that hard to believe," he snaps. Anger, right, stick with anger, lest the guilt and despair take over.
Anders sighs softly, leaning back against him. "I took a spirit into my soul and changed myself forever to achieve this. This is the justice all mages have been waiting for."
Hawke stiffens. "Justice? You call this 'justice'?!" He whirls around to face Anders now. There are a hundred and one things running through his head then and he doesn't know what to say. "It's as Orsino said, you've doomed mages for this, we'll be feared more than ever now. How is that freedom?"
Anders snorts. "I had thought you of all people would understand." He faces him finally. "I'm trying to change a world, can't you see that?" Anders turns away again. "They use fear to bludgeon us into submission, and we let them. That can't go on."
Hawke turns away as well, glaring at the ground as he leans forward. "Oh of course I wouldn't understand. I've only been supporting your cause, putting up with your ranting and playing second to that damned manifesto of yours. I understand nothing!"
"Well I'm sorry my cause has been such an inconvenience to you." Anders sighs. "Just...do whatever you're going to do. I don't expect to walk away with my life, despite you defending me against Sebastian."
Hawke grits his teeth and he can feel tears prick the corners of his eyes. That's right Hawke, your lover blows up a building, you have a domestic in the middle of the street in front of all your friends. Perfect solution, his mind so unhelpfully provides.
"I might've understood if you'd told me," he tells Anders, still glaring at the ground. It sounds petulant, his anger burnt out, now fading to the despair again. But he has to try, just one more time, one more time to get his head around Anders's reasoning.
"I wanted to. But what if you tried to stop me? Or worse, if you wanted to help? I couldn't let you," Anders answers. Hawke feels Anders's hand bump against his thigh, he ignores it.
"So you lie to me instead."
"I was trying to protect you!"
Hawke puts his hands over his face and feels like screaming. He takes a few calming breaths and sits up straight. "I'm not going to kill you Anders," he tells him and reaches back, taking his hand, giving it a small squeeze.
Anders turns around, still holding Hawke's hand, his eyebrows raised. "But?"
Still Hawke doesn't look at him. He squeezes Anders's hand again then stands up, letting it go. "I can't have you here. I...Just go."
Anders stares down at his hand and nods. He doesn't argue, that cuts deep, and he stands up from the box. "Thank you for my life. I'll try not to make such a mess of it this time."
"You do that."
Hawke walks over to the rest of the group. He doesn't look back, doesn't dare. He knows if he does, he'll run back to Anders, run away from the chaos and leave the mages and the Templars to fight it out themselves.
"Hawke?" Varric's voice brings him back to reality.
"I'm fine," he answers, quickly, without much conviction to it.
Varric doesn't believe it for a moment. He simply sighs, gives a short nod. "Of course you are Hawke."
Constructive criticism appreciated as always.