Let's see, what do they have in common.. they're both considered state sponsors of terrorism (under the Enhanced Border Security and Visa Reform Act of 2002). They've both claimed to be interested in acquiring nuclear materials to generate "electricity." Of course, Kim Jong Il has come out and said "Yeah, we have nuclear weapons, assholes. Go fuck yourselves," while that Iranian guy is like "Nuclear weapons are not cool, man. We got this sweet deal with Russia so we can generate electricity, that's all. :) NOW STOP SNOOPING!"
But I'm sure I'm not the only one here who's sick of politics, so this debate isn't about terrorism-sponsors or nuclear weapons programs or even US relations. The real question in the Iran/North Korea debate, at least in this debate, is this: which nation is the best to vacation in?
It's really a tough call, because while North Korea has better surfing, there are no Jews in Iran. Just kidding. Really, you can't even travel to North Korea, and if you wanted to travel to North Korea, then you might as well just go to South Korea, which is the same climate, except there's actually electricity, and also probably hot dog vendors. But Iran has shit that you can't find anywhere else, like Persian rugs, genies, and Aladdin's lamp. And in conclusion: everyone's welcome to visit Iran (except Israelis).
Seriously, just duplicate my research and you'll see that I'm right. All you have to do is Google "visit North Korea," and the first thing that comes up is a parody of a tourism website for NK. Then there are articles and stories about how hard it is to visit North Korea, aside from the usual articles (for both countries) about various diplomats and UN inspectors visiting, or trying to visit. Now do the same search for Iran, and several legitimate tourism websites come up, advertising actual tourist attractions! I know what you're thinking, "But there are terrorists in Iran!" Think of it this way: that's the last place a terrorist would go to bomb you (just stay away from the US embassy..)! So, if you want to surf, go to Bali. If you want to see pornography, drink alcohol and take recreational drugs, go to New York. But if you want to have an exotic vacation in a foreign land, remember: Iran -- not North Korea.
First off my opponent is clearly wrong that you can't even travel to North Korea. In fact, Charles Jenkins (for one) was so enamoured with North Korea that he left the army for 40 years to go live there after seeing it first hand. Indeed, North Korea is a great place to visit as Jenkin's himself was able to star in several North Korea military videos. Tell me that you can go to Iran and just turn into a movie star! Plus, my opponent is simply lying about the lack of North Korean tour groups, just visit http://www.koryogroup.com/ if you don't believe me.
But seriously, the most important issue in this debate is the totally different attitudes in North Korea and Iran over drugs, chicks and booze. I've been to New York, and it's boring and safe. Not at all what the optimal drinking culture should be about. North Korea, on the other hand, is one of the most militarized nations in the country, with the most weapons. Plus, the government is so pro-drugs it produces and sells recreational drugs themself. Show me Bloomberg opening a cocaine factory and maybe I'll consider NY nearly as drug-friendly as ol North Korea.
Then you have Iran. I mean seriously? No alcohol? No fucking western tv shows? No chick's showing cleavage? Execute you for having unmarried sex? Chop off your hands for possession of some drugs? You have got to be fucking kidding me. If Disneyland is a little on the wild side for ya, then by all means visit Iran. If, however, you aren't a total douchebag and like decadence, danger and debauchery, then clearly North Korea is the only place to go.
Okay, so you can travel to North Korea. Iran is still the best vacation spot. Let me explain why by refuting my opponent's claims.
No alcohol? No fucking western tv shows? No chick's showing cleavage?
Who watches TV on vacation? If you want to see TV, stay home. If you want to drink and see tits, go to a titty bar. Also, in North Korea, have fun finding a TV set. You can probably look at cleavage in North Korea, but foreigners are subject to fines or arrest for unauthorized currency transactions or for shopping at stores not designated for foreigners, so have fun trying to buy drugs or a prostitute. You can be arrested for espionage just for walking up to someone in North Korea and speaking to them without government authorization to do so.
the most important issue in this debate is the totally different attitudes in North Korea and Iran over drugs, chicks and booze
First of all, going on an exotic foreign vacation is not necessarily about booze, titties and drugs. If you can have those things in your homeland, then why leave it? Iran offers the opportunity to visit ancient ruins, grand and stunning mosques and minarets, pomegranate groves, exquisite gardens, ski slopes, and starkly beautiful desert and mountain landscapes. What's more, crime is rare - the country is particularly safe for women, who are rarely subjected to the unpleasant attention common in some parts of the Middle East. Another benefit for travelers is that, because of the low volume of tourist traffic, visitors get an unjostled view of even the most important sites. On a good day you can have Persepolis practically all to yourself.
Secondly, my opponent is sadly mistaken about the free use of drugs in North Korea. Criminal penalties for possession of, use, or trafficking in illegal drugs in North Korea are extremely severe.
I wasn't lying at all about it being hard to even visit North Korea. North Korean visas are required for entry, and the U.S. Government does not issue letters to private Americans seeking North Korean visas.
You can't even bring a cell phone, it will be confiscated upon your arrival, and your possessions will be subject to search at any time. Medical care for Americans who become ill or injured in North Korea, including emergency medical evacuation, is generally not available. Hospitals in Pyongyang and other cities often lack heat, medicine, and supplies, and suffer from frequent power outages and outbreaks of infection. Americans should not bring personal medications to North Korea without written authorization from the North Korean Government.
Individuals traveling to North Korea report that fees for local travel costs (taxi, tolls, permits and the cost for security personnel assigned to escort foreigner visitors) can be high and arbitrary.
I'm not sure where my opponent is getting her information, but Iran is safe for women the way American Prisons are safe for your asshole: totally not. Again, as I said, if Disneyland is your idea of the perfect vacation, then by all means wrap yourself up head-to-toe and go visit some damn mosques. You might need governmental approval to party in North Korea, if but if all you do is agree to write some nice things about the place upon your return, they'll let ya do more or less whatever you want, and you'll still get the high grade narcotics produced there.
And while you may not be able to just do the drugs in open, North Korea is like any tinpot dictatorship: everyone is eminently bribeable, and the government does produce drugs to sell on the black market as their way of getting hard currency.
Basically, Iran is like a dry county in the US: full of self-righteous assholes who have a bizzare religious agenda you totally don't agree with. North Korea is like an outlaw biker gang that will hook you up once you get in their good graces. Outlaw Bikers > Bizzare religious folks, so North Korea > Iran.
Let's see, what do they have in common.. they're both considered state sponsors of terrorism (under the Enhanced Border Security and Visa Reform Act of 2002). They've both claimed to be interested in acquiring nuclear materials to generate "electricity." Of course, Kim Jong Il has come out and said "Yeah, we have nuclear weapons, assholes. Go fuck yourselves," while that Iranian guy is like "Nuclear weapons are not cool, man. We got this sweet deal with Russia so we can generate electricity, that's all. :) NOW STOP SNOOPING!"
But I'm sure I'm not the only one here who's sick of politics, so this debate isn't about terrorism-sponsors or nuclear weapons programs or even US relations. The real question in the Iran/North Korea debate, at least in this debate, is this: which nation is the best to vacation in?
It's really a tough call, because while North Korea has better surfing, there are no Jews in Iran. Just kidding. Really, you can't even travel to North Korea, and if you wanted to travel to North Korea, then you might as well just go to South Korea, which is the same climate, except there's actually electricity, and also probably hot dog vendors. But Iran has shit that you can't find anywhere else, like Persian rugs, genies, and Aladdin's lamp. And in conclusion: everyone's welcome to visit Iran (except Israelis).
Seriously, just duplicate my research and you'll see that I'm right. All you have to do is Google "visit North Korea," and the first thing that comes up is a parody of a tourism website for NK. Then there are articles and stories about how hard it is to visit North Korea, aside from the usual articles (for both countries) about various diplomats and UN inspectors visiting, or trying to visit. Now do the same search for Iran, and several legitimate tourism websites come up, advertising actual tourist attractions! I know what you're thinking, "But there are terrorists in Iran!" Think of it this way: that's the last place a terrorist would go to bomb you (just stay away from the US embassy..)! So, if you want to surf, go to Bali. If you want to see pornography, drink alcohol and take recreational drugs, go to New York. But if you want to have an exotic vacation in a foreign land, remember: Iran -- not North Korea.
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But seriously, the most important issue in this debate is the totally different attitudes in North Korea and Iran over drugs, chicks and booze. I've been to New York, and it's boring and safe. Not at all what the optimal drinking culture should be about. North Korea, on the other hand, is one of the most militarized nations in the country, with the most weapons. Plus, the government is so pro-drugs it produces and sells recreational drugs themself. Show me Bloomberg opening a cocaine factory and maybe I'll consider NY nearly as drug-friendly as ol North Korea.
Then you have Iran. I mean seriously? No alcohol? No fucking western tv shows? No chick's showing cleavage? Execute you for having unmarried sex? Chop off your hands for possession of some drugs? You have got to be fucking kidding me. If Disneyland is a little on the wild side for ya, then by all means visit Iran. If, however, you aren't a total douchebag and like decadence, danger and debauchery, then clearly North Korea is the only place to go.
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No alcohol? No fucking western tv shows? No chick's showing cleavage?
Who watches TV on vacation? If you want to see TV, stay home. If you want to drink and see tits, go to a titty bar. Also, in North Korea, have fun finding a TV set. You can probably look at cleavage in North Korea, but foreigners are subject to fines or arrest for unauthorized currency transactions or for shopping at stores not designated for foreigners, so have fun trying to buy drugs or a prostitute. You can be arrested for espionage just for walking up to someone in North Korea and speaking to them without government authorization to do so.
the most important issue in this debate is the totally different attitudes in North Korea and Iran over drugs, chicks and booze
First of all, going on an exotic foreign vacation is not necessarily about booze, titties and drugs. If you can have those things in your homeland, then why leave it? Iran offers the opportunity to visit ancient ruins, grand and stunning mosques and minarets, pomegranate groves, exquisite gardens, ski slopes, and starkly beautiful desert and mountain landscapes. What's more, crime is rare - the country is particularly safe for women, who are rarely subjected to the unpleasant attention common in some parts of the Middle East. Another benefit for travelers is that, because of the low volume of tourist traffic, visitors get an unjostled view of even the most important sites. On a good day you can have Persepolis practically all to yourself.
Secondly, my opponent is sadly mistaken about the free use of drugs in North Korea. Criminal penalties for possession of, use, or trafficking in illegal drugs in North Korea are extremely severe.
I wasn't lying at all about it being hard to even visit North Korea. North Korean visas are required for entry, and the U.S. Government does not issue letters to private Americans seeking North Korean visas.
In recent years, North Korea has experienced famine, fuel and electricity shortages, and outbreaks of disease. Really, that doesn't seem like a lot of fun to me.
You can't even bring a cell phone, it will be confiscated upon your arrival, and your possessions will be subject to search at any time. Medical care for Americans who become ill or injured in North Korea, including emergency medical evacuation, is generally not available. Hospitals in Pyongyang and other cities often lack heat, medicine, and supplies, and suffer from frequent power outages and outbreaks of infection. Americans should not bring personal medications to North Korea without written authorization from the North Korean Government.
Individuals traveling to North Korea report that fees for local travel costs (taxi, tolls, permits and the cost for security personnel assigned to escort foreigner visitors) can be high and arbitrary.
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And while you may not be able to just do the drugs in open, North Korea is like any tinpot dictatorship: everyone is eminently bribeable, and the government does produce drugs to sell on the black market as their way of getting hard currency.
Basically, Iran is like a dry county in the US: full of self-righteous assholes who have a bizzare religious agenda you totally don't agree with. North Korea is like an outlaw biker gang that will hook you up once you get in their good graces. Outlaw Bikers > Bizzare religious folks, so North Korea > Iran.
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