(no subject)
Haven't updated for ages, for two reasons, 1 I haven't really been in my flat a lot and 2 I haven't had much to say. I've been working a lot, thats about all I've done apart from spending a large amount of my time with the lovely Dawny-Dawn (expert trainer extraordinaire) which has been really nice, lots of drinking and chinese eating and film watching.
Theres something stopping me from being myself these days, I seem to be trying too hard to be someone I'm not. Well atleast I think thats what I'm doing, I'm not sure what the problem is really, I'm definatley trying too hard, trying to be loved, to be liked, to do well, to not be a let down, to know where I am, who I am, what I'm doing, to understand, to not care. Or maybe the problem isn't that I'm trying too hard but that I'm not trying hard enough, maybe I don't feel like myself because I'm not trying hard enough for these things that I want. I dunno, I just feel weird, I'm sure its just a phase.
I'm gonna go and buy chips I think.
One last thought...Maybe I don't feel myself now because a part of me is now missing :( (and for anyone that was thinking it, as much as I love her and miss her I don't mean Sara lol)
X
Theres something stopping me from being myself these days, I seem to be trying too hard to be someone I'm not. Well atleast I think thats what I'm doing, I'm not sure what the problem is really, I'm definatley trying too hard, trying to be loved, to be liked, to do well, to not be a let down, to know where I am, who I am, what I'm doing, to understand, to not care. Or maybe the problem isn't that I'm trying too hard but that I'm not trying hard enough, maybe I don't feel like myself because I'm not trying hard enough for these things that I want. I dunno, I just feel weird, I'm sure its just a phase.
I'm gonna go and buy chips I think.
One last thought...Maybe I don't feel myself now because a part of me is now missing :( (and for anyone that was thinking it, as much as I love her and miss her I don't mean Sara lol)
X