square pegs and marathons
after the half marathon on saturday, i booked myself an hour long deep tissue massage (which i highly recommend). In the lobby of the "spa" (use that word loosely) to which i had walked in very slowly, a man told me that he would never understand why people do "those things". I can't answer for everyone...i can only answer for me. we live in a pretty competative world, incase you haven't noticed. But, i've always been a square peg in a world of round holes. I was the girl who, though i loved to win, could feel the dissappointment of loss weighing heavy on my opponents' shoulders. I was the one who might cry (no tebow jokes here) even if we won. just one of the ways, i never seemed to fit in. luckily, i was taught early on that fitting in wasn't necessarily my job...
back to marathons...there are many different reasons why someone may choose to do it. for me, i have a goal, and my only real competition is me. i remember that after the first year of the memphis st jude marathon I called home and my nephew, levi, answered the phone. I told him that i had just finished and he said "did you win?" i said, yes. and i meant it. bc for me, losing would had been to not finish, crossing hte finish line, was winning. i probably should have corrected him when he told others though...
last saturday, i beat my own time, that was my only goal other than finishing. while it wasn't as fast as i'd hope, there's peace in knowing that i can do better. and i will.
wait, that's not my point. when i finished, i went to shower, then through food line, then i hobbled to my car several blocks away. by this time, almost an hour had passed, on top of the almost three and a half hours since the start of the race. as i drove to my massage, i got to pass the the runners and walkers doing the full marathon as they rounded their last curve. I remember one man limping toward the finish line as blood ran down his leg, a couple holding hands and walking very slowly while talking quietly to each other, a woman crying as she ran...they all had different reasons for registering for that same race. different goals, different victories. in that moment my role changed, i honked my car horn and yelled "looking good :) you can do it! you've got this!!! "
marathons are little micro-worlds. sometimes you are the runner, sometimes you cheer others on. sometimes you are searching for inspiration, sometimes you are inspiring others.
somewhere around mile 6 or 7, we ran through st jude's hospital campus. doctors, nurses, family members, patients were there to root us on. there were signs and balloons and smiling faces. one sign said "if hannah can do her treatments, then you can do this" and there was a picture of a little baldheaded hannah. and suddenly, i remembered being back in panama, safe in my hotel bed, knowing that familes were still walking home from the medical clinic...some were not even half way home...if they can do that....
so why do i do it...i'm weird. and i always learn something. this time, while i was reminded that i should actually train for a half marathon i register for because if you don't then it will hurt. I also learned a little bit more about our human condition and compassion and God and life. and, ultimatly, i'm better for it.
now if you will excuse me.. Celtic Woman is on PBS and this is generally when i pull out my violin/fiddle and pretend to play while dancing around and slinging my hair like the woman on there... tonight i will be a little slower, unable to jump as high, but jump i will.
did i mention that its a lot more fun to be a square peg if you just embrace it???
back to marathons...there are many different reasons why someone may choose to do it. for me, i have a goal, and my only real competition is me. i remember that after the first year of the memphis st jude marathon I called home and my nephew, levi, answered the phone. I told him that i had just finished and he said "did you win?" i said, yes. and i meant it. bc for me, losing would had been to not finish, crossing hte finish line, was winning. i probably should have corrected him when he told others though...
last saturday, i beat my own time, that was my only goal other than finishing. while it wasn't as fast as i'd hope, there's peace in knowing that i can do better. and i will.
wait, that's not my point. when i finished, i went to shower, then through food line, then i hobbled to my car several blocks away. by this time, almost an hour had passed, on top of the almost three and a half hours since the start of the race. as i drove to my massage, i got to pass the the runners and walkers doing the full marathon as they rounded their last curve. I remember one man limping toward the finish line as blood ran down his leg, a couple holding hands and walking very slowly while talking quietly to each other, a woman crying as she ran...they all had different reasons for registering for that same race. different goals, different victories. in that moment my role changed, i honked my car horn and yelled "looking good :) you can do it! you've got this!!! "
marathons are little micro-worlds. sometimes you are the runner, sometimes you cheer others on. sometimes you are searching for inspiration, sometimes you are inspiring others.
somewhere around mile 6 or 7, we ran through st jude's hospital campus. doctors, nurses, family members, patients were there to root us on. there were signs and balloons and smiling faces. one sign said "if hannah can do her treatments, then you can do this" and there was a picture of a little baldheaded hannah. and suddenly, i remembered being back in panama, safe in my hotel bed, knowing that familes were still walking home from the medical clinic...some were not even half way home...if they can do that....
so why do i do it...i'm weird. and i always learn something. this time, while i was reminded that i should actually train for a half marathon i register for because if you don't then it will hurt. I also learned a little bit more about our human condition and compassion and God and life. and, ultimatly, i'm better for it.
now if you will excuse me.. Celtic Woman is on PBS and this is generally when i pull out my violin/fiddle and pretend to play while dancing around and slinging my hair like the woman on there... tonight i will be a little slower, unable to jump as high, but jump i will.
did i mention that its a lot more fun to be a square peg if you just embrace it???